Whisper
spiritual free verse75 total reviews
Comment from livelylinda
Teresa: I love this poem. It is gentle and seeking direction from God. Walk into a church or into a forest and just feel; He will be there. Lovely writing. Linda
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Teresa: I love this poem. It is gentle and seeking direction from God. Walk into a church or into a forest and just feel; He will be there. Lovely writing. Linda
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much Linda:) Blessings.
Comment from Leineco
I like the gist of this Teresa - You express what so many long for :-)
I do have a couple of things to consider, not so much suggestions as ponderable :-)
tell me, tell me seems too plebeian . . . I mean, this is a plea to God, maybe a stronger invocation, like:
through a whisper in the breeze
or a whisper in my ear
Your voice I long to hear
thrill me
through the sweet cardinal song
or the flight of a butterfly
Your message I wish to know
instill me
and the line or the flight of a butterfly might be re-arranged (to alter the duplication of the) as -
through the sweet cardinal song
or a butterfly's flight
Anyway. . .just thoughts to consider :-)
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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I like the gist of this Teresa - You express what so many long for :-)
I do have a couple of things to consider, not so much suggestions as ponderable :-)
tell me, tell me seems too plebeian . . . I mean, this is a plea to God, maybe a stronger invocation, like:
through a whisper in the breeze
or a whisper in my ear
Your voice I long to hear
thrill me
through the sweet cardinal song
or the flight of a butterfly
Your message I wish to know
instill me
and the line or the flight of a butterfly might be re-arranged (to alter the duplication of the) as -
through the sweet cardinal song
or a butterfly's flight
Anyway. . .just thoughts to consider :-)
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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I really appreciate your thorough review and suggestions (or ponderings as you say:) I will consider them. Blessings and happy Thanksgiving.
Teresa
Comment from Veeb
So beautiful. Lovely structured poem with a beautiful message for always seeking the Lord. Love the nature scapes: breeze, butterfly, cardinal, tree, and cloud. I like the image, "ignite my mind" - very good use of language. Beautiful orchid which only serves to enhance your thoughtful poem.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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So beautiful. Lovely structured poem with a beautiful message for always seeking the Lord. Love the nature scapes: breeze, butterfly, cardinal, tree, and cloud. I like the image, "ignite my mind" - very good use of language. Beautiful orchid which only serves to enhance your thoughtful poem.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much:)
Comment from judiverse
Great choice "Whisper." Sometimes whispers can be better than shouts at getting a message across. The repetition of "tell me" works well. The imagery of the cardinals and butterflies is lovely. Great comments of where you would find God. Your poem creates the effect of calm reassurance in knowing the Lord is near. judi
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Great choice "Whisper." Sometimes whispers can be better than shouts at getting a message across. The repetition of "tell me" works well. The imagery of the cardinals and butterflies is lovely. Great comments of where you would find God. Your poem creates the effect of calm reassurance in knowing the Lord is near. judi
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thank you Judi:)
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You are very welcome. judi
Comment from thee-name
Excellent poem. Writing was dreamy and reveling.
OPEN MY EYES,WAKE UP MY EARS
SOFTEN MY HEART, IGNITE MY MIND.
I AM YOURS LORD
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Excellent poem. Writing was dreamy and reveling.
OPEN MY EYES,WAKE UP MY EARS
SOFTEN MY HEART, IGNITE MY MIND.
I AM YOURS LORD
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thank you:)
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THANK YOU!
Comment from billmetz
This is a very nice poem. I like the flow, it reminds me a little of "Footprints in the Sand" but I think at the end you are still waiting for a message or a contact of some sort. I like the flow and the breaks between verses.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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This is a very nice poem. I like the flow, it reminds me a little of "Footprints in the Sand" but I think at the end you are still waiting for a message or a contact of some sort. I like the flow and the breaks between verses.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much:)
Comment from patcelaw
I want this to be my prayer each day. I want to feel His nearness to me, to feel the comforting of His gentle whisperings to me as he guide my life. Blessings. pat
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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I want this to be my prayer each day. I want to feel His nearness to me, to feel the comforting of His gentle whisperings to me as he guide my life. Blessings. pat
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thanks so much Pat:)
Comment from GentleWind
You portrayed your quest for the Lord's audience beautifully. I like the way you brought all of nature into view and listened carefully with your heart. When I lived by the ocean, I did this same thing. I ask Him to speak to me through His creation and He did! When we are His child, He does hear our sincere prayers of the heart. Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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You portrayed your quest for the Lord's audience beautifully. I like the way you brought all of nature into view and listened carefully with your heart. When I lived by the ocean, I did this same thing. I ask Him to speak to me through His creation and He did! When we are His child, He does hear our sincere prayers of the heart. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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I'm glad you too have learned to 'listen' to God. Thanks for the great review:)
Comment from kiwijenny
Oh I pray this too..
Soften my heart like you did with David. I pray for us a Nathan to help us see.
Your poem is like a beautiful prayer
God bless
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Oh I pray this too..
Soften my heart like you did with David. I pray for us a Nathan to help us see.
Your poem is like a beautiful prayer
God bless
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Thank you so much:) Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Bill Schott
This is quite a piece to wake up to on a Sunday morning. We're all hacking and coughing and having to prepare to go forth and wondering why. This poem helps.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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This is quite a piece to wake up to on a Sunday morning. We're all hacking and coughing and having to prepare to go forth and wondering why. This poem helps.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2014
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Sorry you all have coughs or colds. Hope you are better soon. Thanks for the great review:)
