The Old Violin
Anapestic Tetrameter contest entry82 total reviews
Comment from padumachitta
Hey...you brave fellow. Well done to nail the style of this prompt.(I ran for shelter when I read the rules:-)
And what a brilliant picture to create. I could see the gypsy dance, the men oogling, the violin adding seduction.
As I write this, I am have an ear worm..Cher singing Trampy and Theives...odd how that can happen...your poem touched a memeory spot in me eh!
padumachitta
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Hey...you brave fellow. Well done to nail the style of this prompt.(I ran for shelter when I read the rules:-)
And what a brilliant picture to create. I could see the gypsy dance, the men oogling, the violin adding seduction.
As I write this, I am have an ear worm..Cher singing Trampy and Theives...odd how that can happen...your poem touched a memeory spot in me eh!
padumachitta
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Padumachitta, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
This is good. I love the theme, a truth that's at once both classic and contemporary. This ancient considers the meter a good read too, and wishes you good luck in the contest. Kenny
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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This is good. I love the theme, a truth that's at once both classic and contemporary. This ancient considers the meter a good read too, and wishes you good luck in the contest. Kenny
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Kenny, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift of six stars. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Caressa_08
This seems to be an over the top entry for this contest....With some mechanics in the works here. so just a review letting you know without a six to give... Great story, with great rhyme..Thanks for sharing your creation, "The Old Violin."..Enjoyed the read, & to learn, one of these days, to write one, I hope soon.
Caressa
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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This seems to be an over the top entry for this contest....With some mechanics in the works here. so just a review letting you know without a six to give... Great story, with great rhyme..Thanks for sharing your creation, "The Old Violin."..Enjoyed the read, & to learn, one of these days, to write one, I hope soon.
Caressa
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Caressa, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it! I was a bit confused by your mention of six stars and award of four.
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It's my eyes, besides a cornea problem, just learned about cataracts, & too was up way too late...Oh so sorry, I really meant to give yous six stars, though didn't have any...So, instead of 4 , am coming back to give you, at least 5 , even though your poem deserves a 6 & will try to give that to you Sunday when I get more of them>....C.
Comment from emrpoems
strong abab rhymes
Excellent anapestic meter
love the choice of topic for the contest
created vivid imagery and an enjoyable read
Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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strong abab rhymes
Excellent anapestic meter
love the choice of topic for the contest
created vivid imagery and an enjoyable read
Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, EMR, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift of six stars. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Tony,
Love the artwork with your poem.
I'm not musically inclined, though my dad could play a harmonica and you would swear he could make it sing. Absolutely awesome!
I think a violin would be a tricky instrument to master. It would be fun, but hard work.
Great Presentation. Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Hi, Tony,
Love the artwork with your poem.
I'm not musically inclined, though my dad could play a harmonica and you would swear he could make it sing. Absolutely awesome!
I think a violin would be a tricky instrument to master. It would be fun, but hard work.
Great Presentation. Best of luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Jax, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from flamingstar
Gosh, what a strong entry! It creates a primitive and intoxicating effect, as dancing with abandon will do. I like the phrase "her fervid disgrace." Great job.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Gosh, what a strong entry! It creates a primitive and intoxicating effect, as dancing with abandon will do. I like the phrase "her fervid disgrace." Great job.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Flamingstar, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Ben Colder
They do, poet. The Hungarians people are very clannish I was in Europe when Russia invade Budapest. They love to dance and play but most of all eat the finest of foods. Well done. Hope you win the contest. Great Photo.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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They do, poet. The Hungarians people are very clannish I was in Europe when Russia invade Budapest. They love to dance and play but most of all eat the finest of foods. Well done. Hope you win the contest. Great Photo.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Ben, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from TKField
Is sex sinful? Only if you're doing it right. This gypsy chick seems like the goods. A traveling pole dancer with a tambourine. How much for a lap dance? I think this poem skillfully walked the thin line dividing guilt and desire. We desire to schtup the Gypsy babe, but we feel guilt about it. So, typically for men, we blame the sinful woman for our own base lust. Why am I not surprised? I liked the violin metaphor, that works on multiple levels (music, female shape, the bow as penis substitute). This was like a piece of music, with nice unobtrusive rhymes and some great internal rhymes (shrill, thrill), and mostly unbroken
meter.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Is sex sinful? Only if you're doing it right. This gypsy chick seems like the goods. A traveling pole dancer with a tambourine. How much for a lap dance? I think this poem skillfully walked the thin line dividing guilt and desire. We desire to schtup the Gypsy babe, but we feel guilt about it. So, typically for men, we blame the sinful woman for our own base lust. Why am I not surprised? I liked the violin metaphor, that works on multiple levels (music, female shape, the bow as penis substitute). This was like a piece of music, with nice unobtrusive rhymes and some great internal rhymes (shrill, thrill), and mostly unbroken
meter.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, TKF, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! You were one of very few who caught the dual meaning.
Comment from LIJ Red
Gypsy Woman was soft rock when I was growing up and Waylon recalled one after that, and Hitler hated them and almost ended the Romany Road. They inspire art. Excellent!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Gypsy Woman was soft rock when I was growing up and Waylon recalled one after that, and Hitler hated them and almost ended the Romany Road. They inspire art. Excellent!
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, LIJR, for reviewing my poem. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from His Grayness
Dear Tony: I think you have said it all so well and beautifully packaged with the lovely photo. This is a fine and remarkable work you may be proud to offer as a great metaphor of how passion deals in our lives. Thanks! Vance
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Dear Tony: I think you have said it all so well and beautifully packaged with the lovely photo. This is a fine and remarkable work you may be proud to offer as a great metaphor of how passion deals in our lives. Thanks! Vance
Comment Written 21-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2014
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Many thanks, Vance, for reviewing my poem and for the generous gift of six stars. Much appreciated! Glad you enjoyed it!
