Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 72 "CHAPTER FIFTEEN; PART FOUR"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
58 total reviews
Comment from fidud
Yes it is quite hard to know what it's about but I enjoy reading like this...it is a different approach in that you are literally looking at the writing style. This is a fast paced piece of writing. I liked the dialogue, very well written, felt like the characters were very real. There also seems to be a refreshing humour in the scene. Looking good!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Yes it is quite hard to know what it's about but I enjoy reading like this...it is a different approach in that you are literally looking at the writing style. This is a fast paced piece of writing. I liked the dialogue, very well written, felt like the characters were very real. There also seems to be a refreshing humour in the scene. Looking good!
Comment Written 03-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Well, Paige wants answers, and she's certainly the type who'll get them, too. It must have felt odd for her to sit and watch the video that Wes Supplied. Seeing Daniel and Tyler violating her home, with no idea as to how they came about getting a key, was bad enough. But, even more troubling to her, I believe, was seeing the ways in which they were attacked by what she perceived to be Bradley Bookman. However, I'm not too sure about that. I think Paige may have a darker, more malicious entity in her home in addition to Bradley. Hopefully, she'll let the Ghost Buster team tend to them. If not, it may get rather ugly for her, and anyone else who happens to stay at the home in the future.
Nicely done, Barbara!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Well, Paige wants answers, and she's certainly the type who'll get them, too. It must have felt odd for her to sit and watch the video that Wes Supplied. Seeing Daniel and Tyler violating her home, with no idea as to how they came about getting a key, was bad enough. But, even more troubling to her, I believe, was seeing the ways in which they were attacked by what she perceived to be Bradley Bookman. However, I'm not too sure about that. I think Paige may have a darker, more malicious entity in her home in addition to Bradley. Hopefully, she'll let the Ghost Buster team tend to them. If not, it may get rather ugly for her, and anyone else who happens to stay at the home in the future.
Nicely done, Barbara!
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
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My pleasure, Barbara, as always.
Comment from Writingfundimension
I really enjoyed the poltergeist activity, barbara. You made some very valid, real-life points, that spirits are not like family pets. They need energy to draw on to remain and it's usually at the expense of the occupants of the haunted property. Love the suspense. :0) Bev
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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I really enjoyed the poltergeist activity, barbara. You made some very valid, real-life points, that spirits are not like family pets. They need energy to draw on to remain and it's usually at the expense of the occupants of the haunted property. Love the suspense. :0) Bev
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
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You're very welcome, Barbara. :0)
Comment from RazberryBullet
Another excellent chapter :) I'm salivating for what's coming next.
Liked these lines:..."While you're taking care of that business, my team and I'll start on the house." Wes smiled at Paige.
Paige's eyes met his. "No, you won't. When I'm finished, we'll go to my house together. No one's going to hurt Bradley."
Way to go Paige!
Excellent!!!
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Another excellent chapter :) I'm salivating for what's coming next.
Liked these lines:..."While you're taking care of that business, my team and I'll start on the house." Wes smiled at Paige.
Paige's eyes met his. "No, you won't. When I'm finished, we'll go to my house together. No one's going to hurt Bradley."
Way to go Paige!
Excellent!!!
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
Comment from rama devi
Hi dear friend. As usual, this is easy to read, with fine pacing, believable dialog and good narrative details to help bring the scene to life. It drew me in. An interesting video scene, for sure!
Technically, it's sound, but I did note some suggestions...
NOTES
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"This way, please." Wes led them to a room with a large rectangle(rectangular) table and chairs placed around it.
*
"You must be the man of the house." Mr. Blake grinned at Cash." (no quotes are action tag)
*
The other three followed Paige's lead as Wes put it in the player and said,
IT does not work so well since this is a new paragraph. Suggest:
The other three followed Paige's lead as Wes put the video in the player and said,
*
"I wonder where they need to get back too."
TOO should only have on O: TO
*
Sirens were heard as Tyler fell to the floor.
Suggest:
Sirens sounded as Tyler fell to the floor.
*
Also(,) who taped the racial note to her door?"
Knowing you will most likely fix the spag typos promptly, five stars in advance.
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2013
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Hi dear friend. As usual, this is easy to read, with fine pacing, believable dialog and good narrative details to help bring the scene to life. It drew me in. An interesting video scene, for sure!
Technically, it's sound, but I did note some suggestions...
NOTES
*
"This way, please." Wes led them to a room with a large rectangle(rectangular) table and chairs placed around it.
*
"You must be the man of the house." Mr. Blake grinned at Cash." (no quotes are action tag)
*
The other three followed Paige's lead as Wes put it in the player and said,
IT does not work so well since this is a new paragraph. Suggest:
The other three followed Paige's lead as Wes put the video in the player and said,
*
"I wonder where they need to get back too."
TOO should only have on O: TO
*
Sirens were heard as Tyler fell to the floor.
Suggest:
Sirens sounded as Tyler fell to the floor.
*
Also(,) who taped the racial note to her door?"
Knowing you will most likely fix the spag typos promptly, five stars in advance.
Love,
rd
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2013
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Sorry for the late response. At school it's semester break and we had a lot of paperwork to catch up on. I am now on break for two weeks and I have time to breath. I appreciate your help.
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Sure, dear. I am hardly here these days...a standard member now... :)
Comment from Teagan Rose Horton
you have mighty great talent, i bet many people have told you that though.
but it is so well formed and structured, has great meaning.
this is well written, please write more, you have great solid potential. keep going
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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you have mighty great talent, i bet many people have told you that though.
but it is so well formed and structured, has great meaning.
this is well written, please write more, you have great solid potential. keep going
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
Comment from beencounter
This passage flows smoothly and captures one's attention immediately. The interplay between Cash and Paige is humorous. It was a little confusing logistically with the transition of the paranormal team of five (Wesley Blake plus two men and two women) to the group sitting down to view the video. What happened to the rest of the paranormal team? Why did Cash shake the Police Chief's hand and not Paige? Did Cash motion for all to sit? Overall, a fascinating story.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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This passage flows smoothly and captures one's attention immediately. The interplay between Cash and Paige is humorous. It was a little confusing logistically with the transition of the paranormal team of five (Wesley Blake plus two men and two women) to the group sitting down to view the video. What happened to the rest of the paranormal team? Why did Cash shake the Police Chief's hand and not Paige? Did Cash motion for all to sit? Overall, a fascinating story.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
Comment from essence56
I try to follow your chapters as I do my Young and The Restless, meaning not missing a beat. I am on the edge of my chair attempting to keep my composure until you post again. This is so good, I can't stand it. Once again thank you.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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I try to follow your chapters as I do my Young and The Restless, meaning not missing a beat. I am on the edge of my chair attempting to keep my composure until you post again. This is so good, I can't stand it. Once again thank you.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
Comment from Curly Girly
What an enthralling chapter to read. It appears that there are ghosts in the house. How weird! Unless it is a very clever trick? I'll have to read more.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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What an enthralling chapter to read. It appears that there are ghosts in the house. How weird! Unless it is a very clever trick? I'll have to read more.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
Comment from Cajungirl
I am enjoying the Chapter. I am trying not to get behind on my reads. I do appreciate you putting the notes prior to the chapter beginning. Congratulations on the Recognized status. Outstanding job.
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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I am enjoying the Chapter. I am trying not to get behind on my reads. I do appreciate you putting the notes prior to the chapter beginning. Congratulations on the Recognized status. Outstanding job.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2013
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Thank you for the kind review and dropping by. I appreciate both.
