Rabbit
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "To Kill a Fly"A Boy's Story of the rural South
35 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
great photo
my other grandparents, Nan and Pappy, - add second comma
Old shift eyed, John - Old shifty-eyed John
Is that right, John - add comma for direct address
Mantis's are good things - Mantises
love the adventures and the arguments
excellent dialogue and character development throughout
Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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great photo
my other grandparents, Nan and Pappy, - add second comma
Old shift eyed, John - Old shifty-eyed John
Is that right, John - add comma for direct address
Mantis's are good things - Mantises
love the adventures and the arguments
excellent dialogue and character development throughout
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 14-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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Brooke - you are the best! Totally supportive and helpful. I'm honored that you support my material. Always warmest regards, Bill
Comment from Sasha
This was a most enjoyable read. I do love this story and think Rabbit is a charming and fun little boy. I anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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This was a most enjoyable read. I do love this story and think Rabbit is a charming and fun little boy. I anxiously look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2013
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Thanks so much for reading and the kind words! Bill
Comment from James crofoot
Ahaha. Good story, reminds me, and quite easily so, of long days in the summer. Good visuals, I could put myself in the garden just fine.
Very funny ending, the grand saying her daughter must be a saint. ahaha peace
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Ahaha. Good story, reminds me, and quite easily so, of long days in the summer. Good visuals, I could put myself in the garden just fine.
Very funny ending, the grand saying her daughter must be a saint. ahaha peace
Comment Written 14-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Thanks for reading and the kind comments! Regards, Bill
Comment from humpwhistle
Actually, Bill, I think you're doing a fine job of 'self-containing' your chapters. They all seem to have a small story or two contained in your larger work.
Your grandparents do seem to be ahead of their time--organic gardening, and Shock and Awe versus flies!
Have you and your brother reconciled?
I bet you spent your quarter at the movies.
Loved those old serials.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Actually, Bill, I think you're doing a fine job of 'self-containing' your chapters. They all seem to have a small story or two contained in your larger work.
Your grandparents do seem to be ahead of their time--organic gardening, and Shock and Awe versus flies!
Have you and your brother reconciled?
I bet you spent your quarter at the movies.
Loved those old serials.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 14-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Hi Lee - my brother and I get along great. Of course he lives in Washington State and I live in North Carolina! It actually has been a challenge to self-contain the posts. I wanted to try this, but have to admit I prefer stand alone short stories. Bill
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Bill, I understand. Longer pieces are much more draining. I always need to take breaks when I'm writing long--write something short and sweet--in and out.
You're doing fine, Bill. L
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Thank you Lee - you following my work means a lot to me!
Comment from kentuckywoman53
Once again Bill you have written an excellent chapter. I found myself swatting flies, picking bugs in the garden, and proudly displaying the killing of a new threat to the garden only to find it I goofed. I love the ending comment about their daughter being a saint. lol.
Continued success..
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Once again Bill you have written an excellent chapter. I found myself swatting flies, picking bugs in the garden, and proudly displaying the killing of a new threat to the garden only to find it I goofed. I love the ending comment about their daughter being a saint. lol.
Continued success..
Comment Written 14-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Thank you very much for keeping up with my story. Warm regards, Bill
Comment from kcross11
In the semi-darkness, I glared at my brother.- great addition! Adds a lot of character...
kind of job(?)"
when the neatest bug possible appeared- ha ha! Such a boy.
Oh, I love the adventures of Rabbit! Looking forward to more!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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In the semi-darkness, I glared at my brother.- great addition! Adds a lot of character...
kind of job(?)"
when the neatest bug possible appeared- ha ha! Such a boy.
Oh, I love the adventures of Rabbit! Looking forward to more!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Thanks for reading and for the spot. Once, just once, I hope to post error free! Regards, Bill
Comment from c_lucas
Most mothers would qualify for sainthood. John reminded me of a brother. We fought all the time. Mother nearly killed a tree by our stripping off branches. This is very well written.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Most mothers would qualify for sainthood. John reminded me of a brother. We fought all the time. Mother nearly killed a tree by our stripping off branches. This is very well written.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Hi Charlie - thanks for stopping by. Almost killed the tree ... I'll remember that image. Bill
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There was a crepe myrtel in the front yard. We had to go and get our own switch.
Comment from Adri7enne
I agree with your grandma. Your poor mother! Boys seem to be hard to raise. LOL! I'm not forgetting you're the one shot off the gun, Bill. LOL!
I'm enjoying reading about your shenanigins. Your grandparents were pretty special, patient people. Fun stuff! I like the simple style you've chosen, which is a good representation of a story told from a child's POV. Good job, Bill.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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I agree with your grandma. Your poor mother! Boys seem to be hard to raise. LOL! I'm not forgetting you're the one shot off the gun, Bill. LOL!
I'm enjoying reading about your shenanigins. Your grandparents were pretty special, patient people. Fun stuff! I like the simple style you've chosen, which is a good representation of a story told from a child's POV. Good job, Bill.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2013
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Hi Adri - thanks for reading and your comments. I started out being committed to writing POV of a child and it has been much harder than I guessed. Warm regards, Bill
Comment from AprilShower
How much older was John than Rabbit? I enjoyed the story, but I doubt I would like listening to them fighting. Rabbit should have placed his flies in a can and taken them with him. Well done, bhogg.
April
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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How much older was John than Rabbit? I enjoyed the story, but I doubt I would like listening to them fighting. Rabbit should have placed his flies in a can and taken them with him. Well done, bhogg.
April
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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Thanks for reading and your kind feedback! Bill
Comment from barkingdog
I don't remember a Bob that you mentioned in the last paragraph and couldn't find him in the character list. Did you mean 'Bob?'
This chapter definitely shows the tension and rivalry between Rabbit and his brother, John. I have a feeling Pappy and Nan will be glad when Louise and Horace return for Rabbit.
Very realistic farm atmosphere. I could see everything: the flies, gathering worms and the eager chickens eating them and the praying mantis.
Enjoyable chapter. I look forward to the next. I hope John stops playing with matches, but this is a stage that I think all kids go through. I did and so did my son. :)
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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I don't remember a Bob that you mentioned in the last paragraph and couldn't find him in the character list. Did you mean 'Bob?'
This chapter definitely shows the tension and rivalry between Rabbit and his brother, John. I have a feeling Pappy and Nan will be glad when Louise and Horace return for Rabbit.
Very realistic farm atmosphere. I could see everything: the flies, gathering worms and the eager chickens eating them and the praying mantis.
Enjoyable chapter. I look forward to the next. I hope John stops playing with matches, but this is a stage that I think all kids go through. I did and so did my son. :)
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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Thank you very much for reading and your kindwords. I'll add Bob to the character list . He was mentioned in ch. 1. Regards, Bill
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I'm enjoying your story. I've read it all,but its easy to forget a first chapter character if he's not mentioned frequently. Who is Bob?
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Bob is the younger brother to Rabbit by two years. Thanks for staying with the story! Bill
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Oh, he's a little one.
I'm enjoying the story, Bill.
:) ellen
