The Wet-Willy's Duel
Outsmarting the adults.35 total reviews
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Well, what have we here? An extra star must've fallen outta G.R.'s pocket when he pulled out his handkerchief. This wasn't long - was it? Great characters, a plot that twists and turns without ever leaving the porch, and loving disrespect all around. A fun story, Lee. One glitch:
I suppose I could let you hombre[s] hitch a ride
A six-worthy job. Uh, when do we leave? :D Nancy
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Well, what have we here? An extra star must've fallen outta G.R.'s pocket when he pulled out his handkerchief. This wasn't long - was it? Great characters, a plot that twists and turns without ever leaving the porch, and loving disrespect all around. A fun story, Lee. One glitch:
I suppose I could let you hombre[s] hitch a ride
A six-worthy job. Uh, when do we leave? :D Nancy
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much, Nancy. I cherish these sixes. I'm really glad you could get into these characters. Peace, Lee
Comment from Silverlock
The title of this little gem had me smiling before I'd even read a word of the story! LOL
Great narrative voice, believable characters and conversations, and gentle humour throughout. What a wonderful story, definitely not too long, loved it!
Regards, Barb
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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The title of this little gem had me smiling before I'd even read a word of the story! LOL
Great narrative voice, believable characters and conversations, and gentle humour throughout. What a wonderful story, definitely not too long, loved it!
Regards, Barb
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Thanks so much, Barb. I'm so glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Realist101
Oh Lee! I'll have to scrap my 'grandpa' yarn. This is great. I love the humor, the perfect dialogue. Your work always takes us to the fun world inside your mind...and I agree with Ingrid. This could go to the majors. Beautiful work. :) Susan
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Oh Lee! I'll have to scrap my 'grandpa' yarn. This is great. I love the humor, the perfect dialogue. Your work always takes us to the fun world inside your mind...and I agree with Ingrid. This could go to the majors. Beautiful work. :) Susan
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Hey, Suse. Thank you so much. Don't you dare scrap your Grandpa story--there is always room for more family stories.
I'm so glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from Cornelius2000
Very clever little story. As usual, your dialogue writing is excellent, and you've captured the personalities of the characters. The story reads well, and it's a nice, clean script. Nice job.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Very clever little story. As usual, your dialogue writing is excellent, and you've captured the personalities of the characters. The story reads well, and it's a nice, clean script. Nice job.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Thank you, Cornelius. I always look forward to your reviews. I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from IndianaIrish
I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but I sure do hate not being allowed to give MY six-star ratings to whomever I feel deserves it. And you, Sir, deserve the highest rating for this story. I always love your kid stories because you know how they act, how they think, and how they feel. My favorite part of this story and what made me keep hoping there was more was your use of "Adults and their ..." So much fun.
I made a couple of notes...
waked up Martians (it's not dialogue so is waked up right?)
Vice Principal(since there is no name and you're not using it as a specific school administrator, then I don't think it should be capitalized)
Chimpanzee, Chimps, and Canary are all capitalized and I wondered why since they shouldn't be...unless it's your writer's just cuz I wanna. I'm not sure about Sasquatch...I've seen it both capitalized and not.
I enjoyed your story so much and who gives a goat's ass what the length is when the story is such a pleasure to read?
Hope you get some galaxies to make up for the one I can't give you.
Smiles,
Indy :>)
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but I sure do hate not being allowed to give MY six-star ratings to whomever I feel deserves it. And you, Sir, deserve the highest rating for this story. I always love your kid stories because you know how they act, how they think, and how they feel. My favorite part of this story and what made me keep hoping there was more was your use of "Adults and their ..." So much fun.
I made a couple of notes...
waked up Martians (it's not dialogue so is waked up right?)
Vice Principal(since there is no name and you're not using it as a specific school administrator, then I don't think it should be capitalized)
Chimpanzee, Chimps, and Canary are all capitalized and I wondered why since they shouldn't be...unless it's your writer's just cuz I wanna. I'm not sure about Sasquatch...I've seen it both capitalized and not.
I enjoyed your story so much and who gives a goat's ass what the length is when the story is such a pleasure to read?
Hope you get some galaxies to make up for the one I can't give you.
Smiles,
Indy :>)
Comment Written 10-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Hey, Indy. Everytime I write from a kid's point of view I think about you're reaction to Bubblegum, and work extra hard. I made most of the changes you suggested, but I need to make another pass before I'm sure it's right. Thanks for the virtual six--that's what I get for being so damn good!
Peace, Lee
Comment from JBCaine
Hump-
Ya know, this gift you have with characters, and their speech patterns is something you should bottle and sell.
Another killer story, with characters who come alive, young and old, for all the readers to recognize.
Peace, indeed!
Another fine fine job, Suh!
JBCaine
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Hump-
Ya know, this gift you have with characters, and their speech patterns is something you should bottle and sell.
Another killer story, with characters who come alive, young and old, for all the readers to recognize.
Peace, indeed!
Another fine fine job, Suh!
JBCaine
Comment Written 09-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Hey, JB! Thank you so much for this all-star galaxy. My friend, if these characters didn't whisper in my ear, I don't think I could write at all. Thank you again. Peace, Lee
Comment from Dawn Munro
No, it wasn't that long and it was a charming and fun-filled yarn! The plot was well-thought out, there was lots of 'plot action', you built your characters so well they felt like family, the dialogue was natural and fun, the descriptions adorable, the narrative consistent and the pacing perfect!
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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No, it wasn't that long and it was a charming and fun-filled yarn! The plot was well-thought out, there was lots of 'plot action', you built your characters so well they felt like family, the dialogue was natural and fun, the descriptions adorable, the narrative consistent and the pacing perfect!
Comment Written 09-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Thank you, Dawn. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from nomi338
That story was so well told and the events leading up to the payoff went so well that I am sitting here wishing that I was one of the guys going on the trip to Wet Willy's. The language seems about right for the time and location of the story and the description of the mothers and grandmother's reactions and comments do not seem out of place. So this story comes across as being a believably funny and pleasant incident in a young man's life.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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That story was so well told and the events leading up to the payoff went so well that I am sitting here wishing that I was one of the guys going on the trip to Wet Willy's. The language seems about right for the time and location of the story and the description of the mothers and grandmother's reactions and comments do not seem out of place. So this story comes across as being a believably funny and pleasant incident in a young man's life.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Thank you for this delightful review, nomi. I so glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from jjstar
Well, you've done it again, and I fear I have run out of glowing reviewing terms to praise your work....suffice it to say..lame, though it is, AWESOME! Particularly effective was the repetition of Stupid ole....
Fine morning, my Aunt Fanny's fanny.==hehe funny!
Grandpa and his ever-lovin' snot-rag.==oh..visions of my grandma!
cowled a silent pact to show suck-up Ray just how much==damn brownnosers..
hombre hitch a ride--so long as none of you has the farts, or a price on your head."
==so cute!
probably waked ==up Martians ==intentional grammar?
Well, I'll be buttered and baked."===hmmm..can I borrow that phrase sometime? haha
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Well, you've done it again, and I fear I have run out of glowing reviewing terms to praise your work....suffice it to say..lame, though it is, AWESOME! Particularly effective was the repetition of Stupid ole....
Fine morning, my Aunt Fanny's fanny.==hehe funny!
Grandpa and his ever-lovin' snot-rag.==oh..visions of my grandma!
cowled a silent pact to show suck-up Ray just how much==damn brownnosers..
hombre hitch a ride--so long as none of you has the farts, or a price on your head."
==so cute!
probably waked ==up Martians ==intentional grammar?
Well, I'll be buttered and baked."===hmmm..can I borrow that phrase sometime? haha
Comment Written 09-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much, jj. I always feel good when readers feel as if they're on the scene and watching it all happen. That's magic. Thank you again and again for all your encouragement.
Peace, Lee
Comment from c_lucas
The smartest creature on earth was Cain. He never lost an argument. This is very well written with a humorous overtone. Good job
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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The smartest creature on earth was Cain. He never lost an argument. This is very well written with a humorous overtone. Good job
Comment Written 09-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2012
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Thank you so much, Charlie. Peace, Lee
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You're welcome, Lee.