Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "A Maza Moon, Part 2"Murder Mystery
40 total reviews
Comment from bookishfabler
A priest is in the midst of a personal crisis when a killer lures him into a twisted world of moral corruption, cover-ups and revenge.
(This is excellent. It draws you in immediately. Great job)
And the chapter to follow did not disapoint either. It was fast paced and interesting. Great job.
Hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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A priest is in the midst of a personal crisis when a killer lures him into a twisted world of moral corruption, cover-ups and revenge.
(This is excellent. It draws you in immediately. Great job)
And the chapter to follow did not disapoint either. It was fast paced and interesting. Great job.
Hugs Heidi
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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Thank you so much, Heidi, for your words of support and your very generous review. I wasn't sure the lead-in was enough, so, I'm really glad you mentioned it! Kind regards, Bev
Comment from robina1978
Don't know if I get this correctly. The priest leaves the scene as it is getting on top of him. Goes home and washes. Changes his cloths. Worries he might become a suspect. Don't think he did it. But then this call of the murderer, but imposing as the priest mimicking his voice. Is well written and has lots of tension too. That is why the six.
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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Don't know if I get this correctly. The priest leaves the scene as it is getting on top of him. Goes home and washes. Changes his cloths. Worries he might become a suspect. Don't think he did it. But then this call of the murderer, but imposing as the priest mimicking his voice. Is well written and has lots of tension too. That is why the six.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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You've got it right, Ine. It's really fascinating to read all the great reviews and what every person takes away from reading the chapter. You've given me an idea for something that will play into a later chapter! On top of your very generous six, I should be awarding a star to you. Thanks so much, Ine. Warm regards, Bev
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Do others read it differently? Wonder what idea I might have given you, but will see soon. You can always give me a star for something else of me you like-LOL.
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I'll just do that! Thanks again, Ine.
Comment from Kate Walker
Hi Bev,
You open with a recap of the previous scene that reads naturally - not like a re-cap at all. And you go on to set up more plot hooks: a more depraved meaning to the use of the host? Would one kill satisfy?
You intro-ed a new twist in the Fr Brian's character too - the desire to 'leave off all the rules and expectations demanded of a cleric' & 'a man in deep crisis'. So now he has an inner personal goal to battle with as well as a story goal. A great addition.
The phone call from the killer is chilling, especially when the man speaks in a perfect imitation of the priest's own voice. That opens a viper's nest of possibilities. And you end with yet more intriguing twists about Debra Padget's death.
The writing is clear and clean; there's some lovely phrases; the scene setting is good, especially at the lake. I'm glad you wove the Native American thread in as well.
Going strong.
Cheers, Kate
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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Hi Bev,
You open with a recap of the previous scene that reads naturally - not like a re-cap at all. And you go on to set up more plot hooks: a more depraved meaning to the use of the host? Would one kill satisfy?
You intro-ed a new twist in the Fr Brian's character too - the desire to 'leave off all the rules and expectations demanded of a cleric' & 'a man in deep crisis'. So now he has an inner personal goal to battle with as well as a story goal. A great addition.
The phone call from the killer is chilling, especially when the man speaks in a perfect imitation of the priest's own voice. That opens a viper's nest of possibilities. And you end with yet more intriguing twists about Debra Padget's death.
The writing is clear and clean; there's some lovely phrases; the scene setting is good, especially at the lake. I'm glad you wove the Native American thread in as well.
Going strong.
Cheers, Kate
Comment Written 01-Apr-2012
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2012
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Thanks, Kate, for your supportive and generous review. I really do appreciate your time and interest. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from wordsfromsue
What an excellent chapter. You write as well as any mystery writer at the library. It's a honor and a treat to get to read the chapters one by one as you post them.
I get the feeling the killer imitated the priest somehow to get into Debra's house.
I just got an inkling of what his agenda is. The comment about the Catholic church carrying on business as usual has me thinking a certain way. I don't want to tip your hand if I'm right. And don't want to look like a goof if I'm wrong!
Brilliant writing. :-)
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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What an excellent chapter. You write as well as any mystery writer at the library. It's a honor and a treat to get to read the chapters one by one as you post them.
I get the feeling the killer imitated the priest somehow to get into Debra's house.
I just got an inkling of what his agenda is. The comment about the Catholic church carrying on business as usual has me thinking a certain way. I don't want to tip your hand if I'm right. And don't want to look like a goof if I'm wrong!
Brilliant writing. :-)
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much, sue, for your wonderful review. I sure appreciate the support. And, I think you're on the right track, my friend. But, thanks for not spilling the beans. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Connie C
Oh, this is really, really good, Bev. I find Father Brian to be a bit of a mystery. And I think it is pretty scary when the killer calls him at the lake and knows where he is. Reminds me of a thriller movie from years ago called "When A Stranger Calls." The phone rings and you know the person is watching you. The ending is superb and makes me want to leap into the next chapter. Keep up the good work, Sweetie. Your description and use of dialogue continue to be excellent, and there are no spags that I see at all. Hugs, Connie
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Oh, this is really, really good, Bev. I find Father Brian to be a bit of a mystery. And I think it is pretty scary when the killer calls him at the lake and knows where he is. Reminds me of a thriller movie from years ago called "When A Stranger Calls." The phone rings and you know the person is watching you. The ending is superb and makes me want to leap into the next chapter. Keep up the good work, Sweetie. Your description and use of dialogue continue to be excellent, and there are no spags that I see at all. Hugs, Connie
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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I thank you, my friend, for your awesome review. And I so appreciate your kind and supportive words. It's very heartening to hear that you are enjoying the story, Connie - makes it all worth while! Love ya, Bev
Comment from misscookie
My, my,
Thsis truly a veery interresting story
I like how your story moves and there wasnever a dull moment
You had my attention from the first line to the last.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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My, my,
Thsis truly a veery interresting story
I like how your story moves and there wasnever a dull moment
You had my attention from the first line to the last.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Thank you so very much, misscookie. I sure appreciate your generous review and words of support. Blessings to you ... Bev
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Your very welcome
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Oh boy.....madness indeed. This was excellent and kept me caught till the last line ......
Now you have me wondering what's next! This has a great flow, fantastic imagery and a deeper questioning of the killers motives and his link to the priest.
Very well done indeed...
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Oh boy.....madness indeed. This was excellent and kept me caught till the last line ......
Now you have me wondering what's next! This has a great flow, fantastic imagery and a deeper questioning of the killers motives and his link to the priest.
Very well done indeed...
Thanks for sharing.
Maureen
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Hello, m'dear. Thank you so much for taking time to read my chapter, Maureen. I always appreciate your extreme generosity. Hugs, Bev
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Bev
A very powerful chapter full of emotion.
You're so right about a body becoming the property of the state. After my kid sister died in tragic circumstances it was several days before they returned her to me.
I couldn't help feeling during the cellphone conversation with the murderer - what if this had taken place in the Confessional Box? What a scene that would be in a movie!
Ron xox
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Hi Bev
A very powerful chapter full of emotion.
You're so right about a body becoming the property of the state. After my kid sister died in tragic circumstances it was several days before they returned her to me.
I couldn't help feeling during the cellphone conversation with the murderer - what if this had taken place in the Confessional Box? What a scene that would be in a movie!
Ron xox
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Howdy, Ron. Thanks for this superlative review and the wonderful supportive comments. I'm always pleased when I pass muster with the King of Suspense. This may end up a script someday. Especially with my super, special surprise ending. LOL!! Hugs, Bev
P.S. What a horrible time that must have been for you following your sister's death. I'm truly sorry for what you family and you endured. Xxx
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Thanks Bev. xox
Comment from Carrie Carson
Great read, even if this creepy as hell. It's interesting the Father would not be a suspect instead of an aide to the Sheriff. Would he let him in to the crime scene then?
No spag issues caught my eye.
Good read, I'll await the coming events.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Great read, even if this creepy as hell. It's interesting the Father would not be a suspect instead of an aide to the Sheriff. Would he let him in to the crime scene then?
No spag issues caught my eye.
Good read, I'll await the coming events.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Thanks for your review, Carrie. The Sheriff, at this point, has to suspect everyone, too early in the case to do otherwise. Appreciate your comments and support! Warm regards, Bev
Sure, I'm looking forward to more of this story.
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Thanks!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I just can't believe Father Brian is quilty of murder. The riddle is a very creative nice touch. I like the way you are handling this. It's a good read.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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I just can't believe Father Brian is quilty of murder. The riddle is a very creative nice touch. I like the way you are handling this. It's a good read.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much, barbara. I have lots more riddles yet to be solved! I really appreciate your generosity with both your time and support. Warm regards, Bev
