Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Part 3 Chapter 5"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
94 total reviews
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hmmm... Maybe I shouldn't review this one.
Your dialogue is natural and easy to read, but you can probably guess what I'm going to say - I really don't see much point in including this.
Reading in short snippets makes it a bit hard to judge, but I think if I picked this up as a book I would be ditching it about now as too slow-moving. Why not get on with the nitty-gritty of the story?
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Hmmm... Maybe I shouldn't review this one.
Your dialogue is natural and easy to read, but you can probably guess what I'm going to say - I really don't see much point in including this.
Reading in short snippets makes it a bit hard to judge, but I think if I picked this up as a book I would be ditching it about now as too slow-moving. Why not get on with the nitty-gritty of the story?
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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In 60,000 word novels there needs to be some building chapters. That is what this one and the previous and the following chapter will be. There can't be action in every scene. Thank you for the review.
Comment from R. K. Alan
So the search intensifies with an artist sketch. For some reason I think she is staying with the nurse that helped her at the hospital. Ray aka R. K. Alan
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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So the search intensifies with an artist sketch. For some reason I think she is staying with the nurse that helped her at the hospital. Ray aka R. K. Alan
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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I won't be long before we discover where Anna is hiding. I appreciate your review and support.
Comment from TammyGail
What a great read ... So happy I found this it was great I will have to go and read the other chapters as well ... Now I'm wondering about it .... Loved it thanks for sharing
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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What a great read ... So happy I found this it was great I will have to go and read the other chapters as well ... Now I'm wondering about it .... Loved it thanks for sharing
Comment Written 19-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from rchitwood
It is good that you write about domestic violence. There
are many a women and children who live like this. Good story
the dialogue is good and so is the characters. Blessings Rita
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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It is good that you write about domestic violence. There
are many a women and children who live like this. Good story
the dialogue is good and so is the characters. Blessings Rita
Comment Written 18-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Paradox Tremors
They have the picture and ready to start searching--I hope they find Anna before her husband does. Another great chapter my friend. I hope you are feeling good today.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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They have the picture and ready to start searching--I hope they find Anna before her husband does. Another great chapter my friend. I hope you are feeling good today.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from al1801
Now I know the auburn-haired, button-nose, oval -eyed cutie. Today is my find a good description day. Easy! you did it with no trouble and a novel way of letting us know what the lady looked like.
I do so dislike domestic violence and I'm glad to see you have taken the courage to portray it. Well done, Mr. W. Take a fiver.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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Now I know the auburn-haired, button-nose, oval -eyed cutie. Today is my find a good description day. Easy! you did it with no trouble and a novel way of letting us know what the lady looked like.
I do so dislike domestic violence and I'm glad to see you have taken the courage to portray it. Well done, Mr. W. Take a fiver.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from RebelRose
I've often wondered how I would describe someone to a sketch artist. Looks like Paul and Troy saw her differently but thank goodness Margaret was able to come up with something similar. I hope they are able to find her soon. Great chapter. Good dialogue and flow.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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I've often wondered how I would describe someone to a sketch artist. Looks like Paul and Troy saw her differently but thank goodness Margaret was able to come up with something similar. I hope they are able to find her soon. Great chapter. Good dialogue and flow.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jen Gentry
Barb,
I will have to read more of your story I find this chapter interesting and engaging enough to hold my interest, your dialogue is really very good, all in all a fine chapter, wishing you and your family well
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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Barb,
I will have to read more of your story I find this chapter interesting and engaging enough to hold my interest, your dialogue is really very good, all in all a fine chapter, wishing you and your family well
Comment Written 18-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Barbara ....
I have often marvelled at the way artists can sketch likenesses to people just from descriptions given by others.
This chapter deals very well with this talent and makes for pleasant reading.
There are just a few small changes to recommend ...
* You have - took a few sips of ice tea ... which I believe should be - of iced-tea (because the tea is not made from ice.)
* You have - I better hurry home ... I suggest - I had better hurry home ...
* You have - and picked up it and her purse. This would read more smoothly as - and picked it up, together with her purse.
Thank you for sharing this with us and I look forward to the next chapter.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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Hullo Barbara ....
I have often marvelled at the way artists can sketch likenesses to people just from descriptions given by others.
This chapter deals very well with this talent and makes for pleasant reading.
There are just a few small changes to recommend ...
* You have - took a few sips of ice tea ... which I believe should be - of iced-tea (because the tea is not made from ice.)
* You have - I better hurry home ... I suggest - I had better hurry home ...
* You have - and picked up it and her purse. This would read more smoothly as - and picked it up, together with her purse.
Thank you for sharing this with us and I look forward to the next chapter.
Love from ... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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Thank you for pointing out those areas. I will get on them. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from zoocq
Thank you again got yhis wonderful story. The deatil is so well drawn that I can picture Anna's face from the images your writing creates. The dialog is so well done that I feel I am part of the conversation. Thank you again!
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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Thank you again got yhis wonderful story. The deatil is so well drawn that I can picture Anna's face from the images your writing creates. The dialog is so well done that I feel I am part of the conversation. Thank you again!
Comment Written 18-Jun-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2011
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Thank you for your kind review.
