Comment from lola29

Excellent

Bill, this was a great chapter filled with lots of action, which is what I like. I'm wondering if Boudreauz is behind the drug activity or if Gus is really the leader. I'm hoping Dax is not really thinking of leaving town. I'm excited for the next installment.

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010

Thanks Lola - it's outlined out, now just got to earn a few bucks to post it! Regards, Bill

Comment from janeae

Excellent

Your story seems logical and the conversation seems easy and real. I liked it. I didn't feel any pauses or any questions from me as I read your story. Good job. Please keep writing. jane

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010

Thanks Jane - I appreciate you reading and for your kind words. If you haven't been following this story, reading chapters 1 and 2 would allow you to jump right in. 1 is an intro, and 2 is one long backstory. Regards, Bill

reply by janeae on 19-Oct-2010

Thanks, Bill, I will check out 1 and 2. jane

Comment from markk

Excellent

Interesting and compelling story of drug trafficing and "cops". Its well written and smooth to read as well as intriguing. Well done.

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010

Thanks Mark - I appreciate you reading and for the kind words. Regards, Bill

Comment from highlander104

Excellent

I'm loving this story. Sharp, crisp writing without unnecessary detail. Descriptions had me at the scene,and your dialogue carried this chapter all the way through.

A couply teeny tiny nits:

Which would bring to me ask, - maybe "bring me to ask"

This was a meth lab and not [to] small. - too

Jean K.

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010

Thanks Jean - I appreciate you following the story and for the help. I'll take a look.

Comment from Eddie Z

Excellent

Very complex plot but great reading. Really like your narrative build up in the second half. The action ending was all very sudden but kept you wanting to see more.

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010

Thanks Eddie - I appreciate you reading and for your kind and generous feedback.

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

Very good story full of action and intrique. Your characters remain very good with excellent dialogue. Your developing the story well and always leaving me wanting more. Good job.

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010

Thank you - I very much appreciate your support of this story. Regards, Bill

Comment from Patrick G Cox

Excellent

Hi bhogg,

One thing I learned is that trip wires often go both ways - cutting one can also release the trigger... I think they're best avoided completely!

Good story so far, rather think there are a few more bodies to be found yet though.

Patrick

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010

Great point Patrick, and you are exactly right. Stay tuned, because this one is going to be low tech, old grenade in the coffee can!

reply by Patrick G Cox on 19-Oct-2010

I think you'll enjoy my next bok to be published - On The Run. Harry and Ferghal get to make big bangs using crude stuff...

Patrick

reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010

I look forward to it. I always enjoy your posts.

Comment from RebelRose

Excellent

Another great chapter. I can't believe that Dax will actually leave town, though. Very interesting police work. I saw one 'nit'. You need to start eating salads for lunch [of] something ...[or] something.

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010

Thanks Patty - I can't believe that you are the only one who noticed. Might be good though, means heads were down taking in the story! I'll correct. Regards, Bill

reply by RebelRose on 19-Oct-2010

I am a former medical transcriptionist who has trained many others and corrected their work. Errors just seem to jump out at me ...except my own, of course.

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is another good chapter to your book. i enjoyed the conversation between the characters and the way the rookie had the older policeman's back. great job on this chapter

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010

Thanks Pam. I'm glad that you read and appreciate your kind and generous feedback. Regards, Bill

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

A very interesting chapter with good action. Very good job.


The other car (cars) pulled up in a perfectly executed arrival.
"Terry, I want you to stand to my left and cover my right side." (The whole block of words do not sound professional)

 Comment Written 19-Oct-2010

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reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010

Thanks Charlie - I'll take a look at the segment. Did you feel that the block of words were too long. I was a little confused. Bill

reply by c_lucas on 19-Oct-2010

You're welcome Bill. Charlie