Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Terra Sanctum, A Shadow on the Grey"An extended story in poem form
106 total reviews
Comment from MitchellScott
This is so my kind of poem. I enjoyed this very much, liked the darkness and post apocalyptic theme. I had a few minor issues but nothing that I couldn't adjust to.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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This is so my kind of poem. I enjoyed this very much, liked the darkness and post apocalyptic theme. I had a few minor issues but nothing that I couldn't adjust to.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2010
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Thanks for an awesome review :-). I love writing darker stuff, especially here on FS where the balance is heavily in favour of the more pastel side of poetry (nothing wrong with that, of course, I just like to be different!). I'm so glad you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment from laren
It was a little bit hard for me to understand your poem, I think it has a deep message, a satire about future, maybe it isn't a satire is a near reality.
Very well written,
Congratulations!
Laren
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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It was a little bit hard for me to understand your poem, I think it has a deep message, a satire about future, maybe it isn't a satire is a near reality.
Very well written,
Congratulations!
Laren
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Laren. I certainly hope it isn;t a near future, but it's hard to see anyone stopping the chain of events if they are ever kicked off. Thank you for your appraisal of my poem and the special rating.
Mike
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Thank you for sharing,
Laren
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Very interesting writing. I had to read and re-read to get the understanding and flow at first... Overall this chapter is a great piece. It was a very insightful read.
God bless you,
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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Very interesting writing. I had to read and re-read to get the understanding and flow at first... Overall this chapter is a great piece. It was a very insightful read.
God bless you,
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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Thank you, AB :-). I am pleased with how this turned out, and it's both good to have finished the series and sad to think I'll not be writing another part.
Mike
Comment from Janine Ellis-Fynn
This is a powerful, thought provoking poem with very vivid, strong descriptions. It's a bit on the long side, but I can see how the topic renders it so. There is a lot to say about it. Well done!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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This is a powerful, thought provoking poem with very vivid, strong descriptions. It's a bit on the long side, but I can see how the topic renders it so. There is a lot to say about it. Well done!
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Janine. I really appreciate your comments :-)
Mike
Comment from Quire's Gal
WOW!...I feel like someone just lowered a fish hook into my brain and reeled me in!! This is totally awesome. I could go on and on, quoting phrases that I like, but I'll approach this review differently...
First, you have an excellent concept for the setting of your poems...very powerful as well as original. I can easily see this in print.
Your command of vocabulary is exceptional. It is very obvious that a lot of work went into this.
Your rhythm flow, and rhymes are impeccable. You have a very musical ear to be able to achieve this. It keeps the reader rolling along with it, wanting more and more.
You've captured the mood most effectively...it left me saddened and maudlin...which is good. It meant you have certainly accomplished what you set out to do with precision and great talent. Thanks for a mind-boggling trip!
Sincerely,
Katherine :)
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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WOW!...I feel like someone just lowered a fish hook into my brain and reeled me in!! This is totally awesome. I could go on and on, quoting phrases that I like, but I'll approach this review differently...
First, you have an excellent concept for the setting of your poems...very powerful as well as original. I can easily see this in print.
Your command of vocabulary is exceptional. It is very obvious that a lot of work went into this.
Your rhythm flow, and rhymes are impeccable. You have a very musical ear to be able to achieve this. It keeps the reader rolling along with it, wanting more and more.
You've captured the mood most effectively...it left me saddened and maudlin...which is good. It meant you have certainly accomplished what you set out to do with precision and great talent. Thanks for a mind-boggling trip!
Sincerely,
Katherine :)
Comment Written 09-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Katherine, for a most detailed and complimentary review. It feels good to have finally finished the series, but I will miss this setting, because when one is so deeply embroiled in a story and its setting and characters, greater depths open up their possibilities. Now I need to start something from scratch, it's a little intimidating!
Thanks again for your most wonderful review :-)
Mike
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I can relate to being deeply embroiled in something...and then it's over. Best of luck with your future projects!
Katherine:)
Comment from jester97
This is was the first part that I raead, so of course will have to go back now and read it from the start. A Beowulf for our times it would seem, hopefully the other parts will live up to the conclusion
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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This is was the first part that I raead, so of course will have to go back now and read it from the start. A Beowulf for our times it would seem, hopefully the other parts will live up to the conclusion
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Jester. I'm so glad you enjoyed it :-)
Mike
Comment from minopavlic
Mike, within my limited scope of perception, reading your final entry to the chronicles of the Wandering Man, could only be described as a masterpiece. It was a very insightful read, one that only succeeded once I read through several times.
Regardless of the rewards, I will be going to read all your posts of the wandering man, as through the journey you lead us, there's great reward found within your expressive form.
A treasure house of wealth.
no_obstacle
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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Mike, within my limited scope of perception, reading your final entry to the chronicles of the Wandering Man, could only be described as a masterpiece. It was a very insightful read, one that only succeeded once I read through several times.
Regardless of the rewards, I will be going to read all your posts of the wandering man, as through the journey you lead us, there's great reward found within your expressive form.
A treasure house of wealth.
no_obstacle
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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Thank you, NO :-). What a fantastic compliment you pay me. The series has taken me a while to complete, and it wasn't easy. The feedback has been amazing, though, and the finished article is something I'm very pleased with. Thanks so much for your hugely encouraging words.
Mike
Comment from Judian James
BRAV-the fook-O!!! "My shattered form was animate
and muscles clung to bone,
but skin was now a blackened crisp
and burnt flesh my cologne." BRILLIANT. All of it. Every chapter from day one. BRAVO!!! The final verse, with the repetition of the key line ... BRILLIANT!!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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BRAV-the fook-O!!! "My shattered form was animate
and muscles clung to bone,
but skin was now a blackened crisp
and burnt flesh my cologne." BRILLIANT. All of it. Every chapter from day one. BRAVO!!! The final verse, with the repetition of the key line ... BRILLIANT!!
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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Thank you, Jude :-). I almost managed to wait 'til you got back! I'm so glad you liked this. I was determined to make the final chapter a strong one, worthy of the story.
Mike
Comment from Xylok
the only thing wrong this poem is that i found it last! man, first part of your nine part series i have come across. i basically never, ever go after first page poems cuz i figure those folk will get enough reviews without mine, but the title caught my eye. i figured it was gonna be cool cuz i had no idea what it meant, sounded latin, so i clicked, um, wow. this poem is truly magnificent. i enjoyed so many parts and so many lines that i felt compelled to write and say thanks for posting it and sharing it with us. i will of course be delving into your port to read all the other parts as well, and this poem is one i plan to reread but im not gonna until i read the other parts cuz i hope to forget as much as i can starting now so itll be somewhat novel again when i return to it. great concept, imagery, cadence, vocabulary, alliteration, enjambment, and congratulations on completing it; quite an undertaking. great post and good luck on fanstory. by the way i felt like i have been plagiarizing your life when i read your bio, lol, you and i are essentially doppelgangers i think. so much of what you wrote i could speak verbatim of myself its creepy, hahaah. anyway, your poem is terrific, all the way through, and you will be published one day without a doubt. keep 'em coming!
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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the only thing wrong this poem is that i found it last! man, first part of your nine part series i have come across. i basically never, ever go after first page poems cuz i figure those folk will get enough reviews without mine, but the title caught my eye. i figured it was gonna be cool cuz i had no idea what it meant, sounded latin, so i clicked, um, wow. this poem is truly magnificent. i enjoyed so many parts and so many lines that i felt compelled to write and say thanks for posting it and sharing it with us. i will of course be delving into your port to read all the other parts as well, and this poem is one i plan to reread but im not gonna until i read the other parts cuz i hope to forget as much as i can starting now so itll be somewhat novel again when i return to it. great concept, imagery, cadence, vocabulary, alliteration, enjambment, and congratulations on completing it; quite an undertaking. great post and good luck on fanstory. by the way i felt like i have been plagiarizing your life when i read your bio, lol, you and i are essentially doppelgangers i think. so much of what you wrote i could speak verbatim of myself its creepy, hahaah. anyway, your poem is terrific, all the way through, and you will be published one day without a doubt. keep 'em coming!
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2010
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There's nothing like a slice of borrowed latin to give a cockrail that gravitas garnish :-).
I very rarely post to the front page; there's as much posing as quality up there, and it takes a fortnight to earn enough member dollars! I figured it was a worthwhile investment in this case, though. Part one went up there, and hence does the conclusion!
I'm so glad you enjoyed this, Xylok (your name sounds like a dealy alien warrior-race in a scifi, something with chitinous armour and more spikes than evolutionarily sustainable). I hope you enjoy the other parts.
Thanks for the great review, and see you around, my doppleganger :-)
Mike
Comment from lgm859
I enjoyed this Chronicles of the Wandering Man and find this to be an exhilirating imaganative creation of an adventure.
Your choice and usage of words, the rhymimg, rhythm and the smooth flow are good. This wrtting develops a persons imagination and able to create mental pictures so easily with the descriptions that are given. I had no problems, my mind just jumped right in and flowed with it.
Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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I enjoyed this Chronicles of the Wandering Man and find this to be an exhilirating imaganative creation of an adventure.
Your choice and usage of words, the rhymimg, rhythm and the smooth flow are good. This wrtting develops a persons imagination and able to create mental pictures so easily with the descriptions that are given. I had no problems, my mind just jumped right in and flowed with it.
Well done.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2010
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2010
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Thank you :-). I'm so glad that you enjoyed it and that I was able to draw you into the flow of the story.
Mike
