Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "Chapter 15; part 1"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
58 total reviews
Comment from JimLee
Again, excellent writing! You keep me in suspense, you keep the changing situation believable and you mingle the love story with the drama. It is only long when it is boring,... This is not boring!
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Again, excellent writing! You keep me in suspense, you keep the changing situation believable and you mingle the love story with the drama. It is only long when it is boring,... This is not boring!
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from bluedragon776
Very interesting chapter, it was a fast read. I was not too bothered by the length. However, this is a novel you are writing after all not a short story. Good Luck with the remaining 14 pages.
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Very interesting chapter, it was a fast read. I was not too bothered by the length. However, this is a novel you are writing after all not a short story. Good Luck with the remaining 14 pages.
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate your support.
Comment from jadapenn
Only 14 pages. Ugh no, but then on the other hand Stephen and Leya need to eventually find some peace and quiet to begin their married life. I loved this fast paced chapter. Gosh, these men have their work cut out for them with all the abducting, shooting and drug-world nonsense going on. Hope they find Leya safe.
Take a peek at the little gremlin:
"Your brain works slowly without a concussion." Michael chuck[l]ed.
Well done. luv jada
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Only 14 pages. Ugh no, but then on the other hand Stephen and Leya need to eventually find some peace and quiet to begin their married life. I loved this fast paced chapter. Gosh, these men have their work cut out for them with all the abducting, shooting and drug-world nonsense going on. Hope they find Leya safe.
Take a peek at the little gremlin:
"Your brain works slowly without a concussion." Michael chuck[l]ed.
Well done. luv jada
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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I can't believe I missed that or any of the reviewers haven't caught it. Thank you for catching it. I appreciate it.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is another well written chapter from you and i enjoyed reading it. i read it last night, but didn't have time to give it a proper review until today. good flow to the storyline, detailed and emotional. have a happy memorial day
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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this is another well written chapter from you and i enjoyed reading it. i read it last night, but didn't have time to give it a proper review until today. good flow to the storyline, detailed and emotional. have a happy memorial day
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from laurelp
Wasn't too long for me. I enjoyed the read and the high intensity you gave to this chapter. Very well written. Good description and dialogue.
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Wasn't too long for me. I enjoyed the read and the high intensity you gave to this chapter. Very well written. Good description and dialogue.
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate the support.
Comment from maggieJo
Don't apologize for the length. It wasn't that long. This is a great story. I hope you get it in print and on the best bookstore shelves.
maggiejo
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Don't apologize for the length. It wasn't that long. This is a great story. I hope you get it in print and on the best bookstore shelves.
maggiejo
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Thank you for the kind words and the 6 stars. Coming from a lady like you is extra special.
Comment from fionageorge
Lengthy, but it was excellent, as always. Great use of dialogue, and excellent narrative, which carries the story at a good pace. I enjoyed the interaction between Ralph and Eric, especially when he lets it slip he and Leya are married.
Thanks for sharing, and I look forward to the next 14 pages.
Warmest regards, Marijke
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Lengthy, but it was excellent, as always. Great use of dialogue, and excellent narrative, which carries the story at a good pace. I enjoyed the interaction between Ralph and Eric, especially when he lets it slip he and Leya are married.
Thanks for sharing, and I look forward to the next 14 pages.
Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Thank you for the kind words.
Comment from Ted T
Hi Lady :)
As I said, you're doing very well on this chapter. All the elements are there. Your pace fits the tone of events and the dialogue is neat and crisp. Things are falling into place quite nicely.
A couple of "nits" that kept you from a "sixer":
I'll check on it on the way ...." He stopped in mid-sentence. If you're going to cut dialogue in mid-sentence, use the M-dash not an ellipsis.
Tell us something we don't know." Matt motioned for Eric to continue. Shouldn't this be a separate paragraph? Evil Eddie may have caused it.
It's dark, so use extra caution. You've already said "tonight" so "it's dark" isn't needed.
Minor "nits" - I know you'll fix them.
Good job.
Ted
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Hi Lady :)
As I said, you're doing very well on this chapter. All the elements are there. Your pace fits the tone of events and the dialogue is neat and crisp. Things are falling into place quite nicely.
A couple of "nits" that kept you from a "sixer":
I'll check on it on the way ...." He stopped in mid-sentence. If you're going to cut dialogue in mid-sentence, use the M-dash not an ellipsis.
Tell us something we don't know." Matt motioned for Eric to continue. Shouldn't this be a separate paragraph? Evil Eddie may have caused it.
It's dark, so use extra caution. You've already said "tonight" so "it's dark" isn't needed.
Minor "nits" - I know you'll fix them.
Good job.
Ted
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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I am not sure how to use the dash. All my grammar books use the elipsis. I have seen it used in that way. I will make all the changes, but I am not sure if I leave a space before it like you do with the elpsis or not. Thank you for the review. I printed your suggestions, and off to make the changes.
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Hi Barbara :)
I'll get back to you later today. I'm working on the cover/query package for "Thorns." The book is going to market soon.
Ted
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Great!!!! Good luck
Comment from BeautifulLie
I loved it! Leaves off at a good place, makes you want more. Good job! I think I've read earlier works of this, I haven't been around for a while. I shall have to catch up on the reading! Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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I loved it! Leaves off at a good place, makes you want more. Good job! I think I've read earlier works of this, I haven't been around for a while. I shall have to catch up on the reading! Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from jwlee211
great chapter. The story has progressed very well. I am looking forward to how the story ends. You handle the dialogue well. Great job
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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great chapter. The story has progressed very well. I am looking forward to how the story ends. You handle the dialogue well. Great job
Comment Written 31-May-2010
reply by the author on 31-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
