He Is
You are never alone.71 total reviews
Comment from ChrisMcLaughlin
Jan, I am so sorry for your friend. So sad. Such a senseless loss.
While I may disagree with you on some religious views, your writing here was excellent as usual. In your 1st person narrative you have the gift of drawing the reader right into the room with you. The slow shift of emotion could be felt, like a hug from a parent.
Thank you for sharing this & my prayers are with your friend & her children. She is truly blessed to have you.
Chris
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Jan, I am so sorry for your friend. So sad. Such a senseless loss.
While I may disagree with you on some religious views, your writing here was excellent as usual. In your 1st person narrative you have the gift of drawing the reader right into the room with you. The slow shift of emotion could be felt, like a hug from a parent.
Thank you for sharing this & my prayers are with your friend & her children. She is truly blessed to have you.
Chris
Comment Written 19-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Many thanks, Chris. I really appreciate your kind words.
Jani
Comment from Writeaway...
Inspiring, heart warming and a great piece to read Janilou, I was inspired by your writing. The picture also went well with the story, I found no spags and was kept interested from the beginning. Excellent job, keep writing!!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Inspiring, heart warming and a great piece to read Janilou, I was inspired by your writing. The picture also went well with the story, I found no spags and was kept interested from the beginning. Excellent job, keep writing!!
Comment Written 19-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Bless your heart. Thank you so much for the wonderful rating and review. I am so sorry it has taken my this long to respond.
Jani
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Jan...this is a beautiful story. It is well written and very touching to me. In my life I have felt His presence more than once and then I wonder why I ever doubted that he could hear me. Well done....blessings....chey
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Hi Jan...this is a beautiful story. It is well written and very touching to me. In my life I have felt His presence more than once and then I wonder why I ever doubted that he could hear me. Well done....blessings....chey
Comment Written 19-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Many thanks!
Jani
Comment from BethShelby
These are beautiful images you are able to see with your heart. I'm sorry about your friend losing her husband but I know in time God will heal her pain. I will check out the web site your suggested for the song.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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These are beautiful images you are able to see with your heart. I'm sorry about your friend losing her husband but I know in time God will heal her pain. I will check out the web site your suggested for the song.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Many thanks!
Jani
Comment from Mohubby
This is a beautiful tribute to faith and the knowledge that there is always a Lord there when we need Him. As someone who's faith is not pinned down to a specific God, I find this piece comforting in that, though many of us share different belief systems, we are all similar in that we can find comfort in God in the same way; as human beings and creatures of faith.
I found this really inspiring. Thanks for bringing a smile. Nice job.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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This is a beautiful tribute to faith and the knowledge that there is always a Lord there when we need Him. As someone who's faith is not pinned down to a specific God, I find this piece comforting in that, though many of us share different belief systems, we are all similar in that we can find comfort in God in the same way; as human beings and creatures of faith.
I found this really inspiring. Thanks for bringing a smile. Nice job.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Many thanks! I am honored to read your words.
Jani
Comment from Gert sherwood
Good evening to you Janilou,
What a beautiful story giving us a vision of wht it would be like to speak to God
Excllent dialouge and a perfect ending for you story.
Gert
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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Good evening to you Janilou,
What a beautiful story giving us a vision of wht it would be like to speak to God
Excllent dialouge and a perfect ending for you story.
Gert
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Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Many thanks!
Jani
Comment from jahees
This is certainly very touching in light of your author's notes, (but you wrote this BEFORE your friend was killed in a car accident or AFTER?) Well written and I did not see any typos. So sorry for your loss...this must have been emotionally painful to write.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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This is certainly very touching in light of your author's notes, (but you wrote this BEFORE your friend was killed in a car accident or AFTER?) Well written and I did not see any typos. So sorry for your loss...this must have been emotionally painful to write.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Many thanks!
Jani
Comment from fayesh
I think you have written an inspirational story, but the beginning needs some work. To sell the story, I would suggest that you make it a dream after failing asleep at the computer because the images are dreamlike and unless, you're one of the Prophets and privy to God's audience, the believability factor is missing.
I do believe God makes His Presence known, but not in Person.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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I think you have written an inspirational story, but the beginning needs some work. To sell the story, I would suggest that you make it a dream after failing asleep at the computer because the images are dreamlike and unless, you're one of the Prophets and privy to God's audience, the believability factor is missing.
I do believe God makes His Presence known, but not in Person.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Many thanks! It is of course, fictional.
Jani
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Janilou ....
God always works in ways beyond our comprehension and the fact that the writing of this beautiful little story was, for some reason unknown to you, delayed until the exact right moment, is surely part of His loving Providence.
Please tell your friend that the greatest gift she can give to her dear husband is to constantly pray for him, knowing too that he can intercede for her and the children. In that way, the family will be closely united in God's presence.
There is nothing to suggest changing and I thank you
for sharing it with us.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Hullo Janilou ....
God always works in ways beyond our comprehension and the fact that the writing of this beautiful little story was, for some reason unknown to you, delayed until the exact right moment, is surely part of His loving Providence.
Please tell your friend that the greatest gift she can give to her dear husband is to constantly pray for him, knowing too that he can intercede for her and the children. In that way, the family will be closely united in God's presence.
There is nothing to suggest changing and I thank you
for sharing it with us.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Many thanks!
Jani
Comment from Colin Douglas
I must say that this is a sweet and touching scene you've created. The fantasy of this woman being able to have a casual two-way conversation with God as if he is just an old friend, is quite poignant.
As a complete story, it does however seem to be more of a moral or spiritual message rather than an entertaining story. You can create a story and slip in a subtle moral and get away with it, but for the whole thing to be about the moral can make the reader feel like he's being taught rather than entertained.
That said, you almost got away with it here. In spite of this inherent flaw, I kind of enjoyed your story, and that's a neat trick.
I considered five stars for a while, but, in the end, I had to say it falls just short.
One detail:
"This is the latest song by your son, Mark Schultz." It seems unnatural for your character to say "...your son, Mark Schultz." As she is shown to have a relationship with God in which they can speak casually with each other, she would just say "Mark Schultz" or maybe even just "Mark." Saying "your son" makes it seem like she is actually speaking for the reader's benefit, which should be avoided.
If she were praying to an unseen God, this would be different.
It would also be different if you were considering Mark Shultz to be God's only or one of his few sons.
Colin
PS I'm telling you what to write. If you see some of my other reviews, you may notice that four is a great rating. Some people will appreciate this angle of storytelling more than others. As for me, I can see significant talent from you, and I would like to see a story--even if it's just one--that is just about entertaining the reader.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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I must say that this is a sweet and touching scene you've created. The fantasy of this woman being able to have a casual two-way conversation with God as if he is just an old friend, is quite poignant.
As a complete story, it does however seem to be more of a moral or spiritual message rather than an entertaining story. You can create a story and slip in a subtle moral and get away with it, but for the whole thing to be about the moral can make the reader feel like he's being taught rather than entertained.
That said, you almost got away with it here. In spite of this inherent flaw, I kind of enjoyed your story, and that's a neat trick.
I considered five stars for a while, but, in the end, I had to say it falls just short.
One detail:
"This is the latest song by your son, Mark Schultz." It seems unnatural for your character to say "...your son, Mark Schultz." As she is shown to have a relationship with God in which they can speak casually with each other, she would just say "Mark Schultz" or maybe even just "Mark." Saying "your son" makes it seem like she is actually speaking for the reader's benefit, which should be avoided.
If she were praying to an unseen God, this would be different.
It would also be different if you were considering Mark Shultz to be God's only or one of his few sons.
Colin
PS I'm telling you what to write. If you see some of my other reviews, you may notice that four is a great rating. Some people will appreciate this angle of storytelling more than others. As for me, I can see significant talent from you, and I would like to see a story--even if it's just one--that is just about entertaining the reader.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2009
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2010
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Many thanks!
Jani
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You're welcome. And in the PS I made a terrible typo. I meant to say I'm NOT telling you what to write.
