A Lasting Peace Without the Tears
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Oh, Pakistan! C'est la Vie..."Simply my feelings towards a lasting one.
65 total reviews
Comment from Pen&Ink
Hello Mike K2,
You make many valid points in both your poem and your author's notes. Admittedly, I found the poem easier to read. I liked your rhymes and your plea to the Pakistani peoples to stand up and be counted. Olive branches work well in ideal situations, but this is far from ideal. Great poetry. One tiny flaw: "Beating wom(e)n for their cause..." Plural instead of singular form. No biggie. Ray
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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Hello Mike K2,
You make many valid points in both your poem and your author's notes. Admittedly, I found the poem easier to read. I liked your rhymes and your plea to the Pakistani peoples to stand up and be counted. Olive branches work well in ideal situations, but this is far from ideal. Great poetry. One tiny flaw: "Beating wom(e)n for their cause..." Plural instead of singular form. No biggie. Ray
Comment Written 27-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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Any typo is a biggie to me and I have corrected it. The FS reviewing platform is the greatest aid in editing that is avalable for the literary world and is much appreciated.
I think we all need to be counted and hopefully a little reassurence and belief will help many people. It is a difficult aspect in life.
I thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from Deejharrington
Your verse explodes with emotions and feelings. The fears, hates, loves, and terror comes throught very well. I am not knowledgable enough to agree or disagree with your reasoning. I know any world problem are a powder keg. We in the U.S. don't have a clue on the total scope of the problems or solutions. Best of Luck.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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Your verse explodes with emotions and feelings. The fears, hates, loves, and terror comes throught very well. I am not knowledgable enough to agree or disagree with your reasoning. I know any world problem are a powder keg. We in the U.S. don't have a clue on the total scope of the problems or solutions. Best of Luck.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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This sort of reasoning, I actually stumbled on by accident. I thank you very much for the compliments and this review. I really think we need to see more news about various countries that we currently do. That would allow us to fit things together more. Thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
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I wonder whether the average American is intelligent to understand or has the attention span to pay attention long enough to try to know what is happening. Those of us who try to keep up are overloaded with information. I don't know what the future holds. But something, somebody had to stand up and change it all, before we all self-destruct. Happy thought, huh?
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I wonder whether the average American is intelligent to understand or has the attention span to pay attention long enough to try to know what is happening. Those of us who try to keep up are overloaded with information. I don't know what the future holds. But something, somebody had to stand up and change it all, before we all self-destruct. Happy thought, huh?
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Well, in addition to information, we need the ability to classify it all. I do have faith in my fellow Americans in the ability to deal with the information, but wonder if we have the virtue to remain interested for any period of time. I bought a newspaper for my father's birthday. He was born in 1939 and all of the making for WWII were in there. We just didn't want to be bothered and by the time we lost that choice, the cost we would pay was so much higher. I try to keep that in mind with today's events. Actually it is a nice thought and concern. That is why we write!
Have a great evening! Mike
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Thank you for letting me vent!
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Mike K2 ....
I have read, with interest, both what you have written in this work as well as in your Notes at the end.
The story you have told in the latter is not clear but ...
generally speaking, I recognise that you have a genuine love and concern for the Pakistani people which is a very commendable attribute to have.
There is nothing to suggest changing. You started off with good rhyming but, as that changed, I have reviewed this as free-thought writing.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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Hullo Mike K2 ....
I have read, with interest, both what you have written in this work as well as in your Notes at the end.
The story you have told in the latter is not clear but ...
generally speaking, I recognise that you have a genuine love and concern for the Pakistani people which is a very commendable attribute to have.
There is nothing to suggest changing. You started off with good rhyming but, as that changed, I have reviewed this as free-thought writing.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
With love from ..... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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I try to let the individual poem and its thoughts dictate the form. Due to time constraints, I find that a more freestyle poem with a little rhyme and meter with in the stanzas really aid people in the reading.
I thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Mike
Comment from honeytree
I love the art work and the words presented here. We are living in dangerous times. I agree one cannot "stop these bullets" by giving money. I feel a "Holy War" is going to be hard to stop. Even showing an olive branch wouldn't stop the fighting.
Great writing here and, I must compliment the writer for the author notes. I hope their will be peace in the world?
If their is war their will be many lives lost, and for what Land?
Honeytree
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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I love the art work and the words presented here. We are living in dangerous times. I agree one cannot "stop these bullets" by giving money. I feel a "Holy War" is going to be hard to stop. Even showing an olive branch wouldn't stop the fighting.
Great writing here and, I must compliment the writer for the author notes. I hope their will be peace in the world?
If their is war their will be many lives lost, and for what Land?
Honeytree
Comment Written 27-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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I don't think this could be as hard to stop as one may think provided all recognize tyranny. I gave up the idea of a holy war reading the published names of the servicemen that died. Realistically, more people are usually named murdered in Batlimore. What caught my attention was the fact that Muslims were represented in numbers, 20 here, 50 there, 150 somewhere else. The terrorists are a far more bigger problem for them, then us. That's what made me think of tyranny and the fact they just like killing as many people as the can and subjegating the rest. I do walk the streets of Baltimore and couldn't imagine things occuring that would take out large numbers of people. Our nation paid a very heavey price in lives in WWII. I possibly think that with the numbers being much less, the same would have happened if we interviened in Europe before Hitler came to full power.
I really appreciate this review and the compliments.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Some people will use any excuse to practive the tyranny and terror they wish to act out. Sometimes the excuse is religion, other times it is lands and titles, even other times, people. I feel similarly to you. Never give in to bullies under any circumstances as it simply emboldens them and makes matters worse. Very well written poem, and informative and useful author notes.
Warmest wishes
Kat
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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Some people will use any excuse to practive the tyranny and terror they wish to act out. Sometimes the excuse is religion, other times it is lands and titles, even other times, people. I feel similarly to you. Never give in to bullies under any circumstances as it simply emboldens them and makes matters worse. Very well written poem, and informative and useful author notes.
Warmest wishes
Kat
Comment Written 27-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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Thank you very much for your compliments and this review.
Mike K2
Comment from S.Yocom
You bring a good message wityh this poem, Mike. I wish that the world's leaders would heed it. I liked your rhymes in stanzas 1, 5, 6, 7, and 8. You could have posted the Author Notes as an essay. Well done.
Sally
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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You bring a good message wityh this poem, Mike. I wish that the world's leaders would heed it. I liked your rhymes in stanzas 1, 5, 6, 7, and 8. You could have posted the Author Notes as an essay. Well done.
Sally
Comment Written 27-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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Thank you very much for your compliments and this review. They are very much appreciated and honoring. Mike K2
Comment from filmoreodragon
this is a wonderful tribute to peace and reality. the whole issue is both terribly complicated and very simple isn't it? It is nothing about religion and all about power and money. the complexity arises out of the lies, treachery, and deception. Sounds like you have an interesting life. I am so sorry. I do too:-) The Chinese curse you know. I really hate to fight, but sometimes you just have to.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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this is a wonderful tribute to peace and reality. the whole issue is both terribly complicated and very simple isn't it? It is nothing about religion and all about power and money. the complexity arises out of the lies, treachery, and deception. Sounds like you have an interesting life. I am so sorry. I do too:-) The Chinese curse you know. I really hate to fight, but sometimes you just have to.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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Thank you very much for the compliments and this review.
I got a kick out for the Chinese curse too. Mike
Comment from mermaids
An excellent poem about the struggles in Pakistan, similar struggles to other countries in that region. I like the last verse, because it really is all about living in peace, good work.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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An excellent poem about the struggles in Pakistan, similar struggles to other countries in that region. I like the last verse, because it really is all about living in peace, good work.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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Thank you very much for this review and the compliments. Mike
Comment from nora arjuna
Mike, I just spent my last sixer. This could be one of your greatest work. The notes are great as well. To me, all these has nothing to do with religion. It's about power. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience with us.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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Mike, I just spent my last sixer. This could be one of your greatest work. The notes are great as well. To me, all these has nothing to do with religion. It's about power. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experience with us.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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I like seeing people using religion as their vehicle. Not as a prybar to invade others. To me, it is most important that there be personal choices so each can pick the best for them. I have learned something from all.
This is about power and the proper use for a sustained peace and freedom. I am very glad that you reviewed this one and thank you for it and the compliments. Mike
Comment from wierdgrace
This is a very well written poem, and the story you told in your notes, is wonderful. I found it very informative, and the structure was done well no errors and no revisions, thank you so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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This is a very well written poem, and the story you told in your notes, is wonderful. I found it very informative, and the structure was done well no errors and no revisions, thank you so much for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2009
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2009
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I thank you very much for caring and reviewing this. I really appreciate the compliments. Mike
