Comment from Korton

Excellent

Hi Zee, I must say, you do have a wild imagination. At least I hope it's all imagination. Great story, one minor typo, Victor remain[ed] in the fetal position. Definitely a challenge to see where you might go with this one.

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2009

Hi Korton, I did fix the spaggie, thank you. I work from imagination for the most part. I will not tell which part.. lol. Thanks for reading and commenting. ZeeZee

Comment from Cooper Watt

Excellent

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha....

Love it! Fuck, you should have your own TV show. The Deviant Exploits of ZeeZee Writer. Of course, it would be on some High-Number cable channel airing at 3AM, in select states and foreign countries. Either way, I'd flip the bill for the specialty channel. Great fun!

Anyway, I found two little nits you might want to consider:

- lobster canapes, salmon pate, and Swedish pickled shrimp. -- I would replace the "and" with an "or".

- Victor remain in the fetal position -- remained.

That's that. Peace out, you maven of the night. You devourer of the moral majority. You... You... You single-handed destroyer of Christian souls inhabiting FanStory!! I LOVE IT!!

Coop.

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 Comment Written 25-Mar-2009

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2009

Thanks Coop, I fixed the spots you mentioned. I am not trying to single-handedly destroy the Soul searchers. I am just the alternative voice. ahemmm.. Fanstory must be agreeable or I would have been bounced by now. Thank you much for the support. ZeeZee