A Long Farewell
A lonely cemetery visit40 total reviews
Comment from Lisasview
Oh gosh Beth this one for some reason pulled at my heartstrings... I read it several times because there is a very strong metaphor beneath your powerful words...
Really wonderful..
I wish you the very best of luck in the contest,
Lisa
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Oh gosh Beth this one for some reason pulled at my heartstrings... I read it several times because there is a very strong metaphor beneath your powerful words...
Really wonderful..
I wish you the very best of luck in the contest,
Lisa
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much Lisa. I'm so pleased you feel that because it seems to me if you only have a few words to work with, You ought to try to make the reader feel something emotional.
Beth
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Finding just the right words, which you did dear Beth, is not always easy!
Lisa
Comment from Brett Matthew West
That would definitely be a long farewell.
Hand-counted proper syllables for each line.
Will admit, when read the title hoped you were not bidding adios to FanStory.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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That would definitely be a long farewell.
Hand-counted proper syllables for each line.
Will admit, when read the title hoped you were not bidding adios to FanStory.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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THank you Brett. No I'm not leaving just yet. If I do it won't be a long farewell. Thanks for the review.
Beth
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5, A Long Farewell. has the proper formatting and finds the spouse walking the worn trail, back and forth, as the days past the end have become the days still used to prove a love. Nice.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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This 5-7-5, A Long Farewell. has the proper formatting and finds the spouse walking the worn trail, back and forth, as the days past the end have become the days still used to prove a love. Nice.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Thank you Bill, I appreciate the review and comments.
Beth
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
A very poignant verse here with every line assiduously chosen to capture all the emotions of loneliness and grief of the cemetery. Quite chillingly atmospheric. Well done and good luck, Beth! Debbie
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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A very poignant verse here with every line assiduously chosen to capture all the emotions of loneliness and grief of the cemetery. Quite chillingly atmospheric. Well done and good luck, Beth! Debbie
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Thank you Debbie. I really appreciate the review and the thoughtful comments.
Beth
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
What an eerie picture you've found to accompany this poem, and I like the contrast of the man in black and the black cross and black font against a washed out background.
Of course, the aging stones are the grave stones and this is quite a different write for you. Well done - best wishes for the contest.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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What an eerie picture you've found to accompany this poem, and I like the contrast of the man in black and the black cross and black font against a washed out background.
Of course, the aging stones are the grave stones and this is quite a different write for you. Well done - best wishes for the contest.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Thank you Pam, I'm trying to learn to appreciate short unrhymed poems and it isn't easy. It isn't my style. If I'm going to do it, I'd like it to bring some emtion to the table if possible. I appreciate the review.
Beth
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Your opening words - Faltering footsteps - goes perfectly with this cemetry scene, Beth as does the - echo on the lonely path - gives an eerie silence to this grave scene. Well done and good luck in the contest.
cheers
valda
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Your opening words - Faltering footsteps - goes perfectly with this cemetry scene, Beth as does the - echo on the lonely path - gives an eerie silence to this grave scene. Well done and good luck in the contest.
cheers
valda
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Thank you Valda, I really appreciate the review and your expressive
comments.
Beth
Comment from lyenochka
This conjures up a lot of emotions. The "aging stones" is a beautiful way to describe the tombstones as well as imply the aging of the one who has faltering footsteps. Hope this does well in the contest!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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This conjures up a lot of emotions. The "aging stones" is a beautiful way to describe the tombstones as well as imply the aging of the one who has faltering footsteps. Hope this does well in the contest!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Helen. I'm trying to learn to appreciate and write the shorter things which has never been something that appealed to me. If I going to write them, I hope to stir up some kind of emotion.
Beth
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A poignant, sad and grief filled write Beth and the living mourn the dead and our names are etched in stone but we are all forgotten in the end, well chosen words for the contest Beth, I wish you luck, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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A poignant, sad and grief filled write Beth and the living mourn the dead and our names are etched in stone but we are all forgotten in the end, well chosen words for the contest Beth, I wish you luck, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Thank you Dolly, I appreciate the review and comments. I was hoping it would evoke some sort of emotion. I appreciate your words.
Beth
Comment from Barry Penfold
Image and words blend well. I trust this will go well in the competition. Take care and have a wonderful day. I must admit I am impressed how you come up with the ideas in these short poems.
Regards
Barry Penfold.,
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Image and words blend well. I trust this will go well in the competition. Take care and have a wonderful day. I must admit I am impressed how you come up with the ideas in these short poems.
Regards
Barry Penfold.,
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Thank you Barry. These short poems are new for me. I've avoided them until recently. I appreciate the review and nice comments.
Beth
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Your three lines absolutely captured my heart. I'll be honest, short poems are hard to pull off, but you took the walk of an old man in a cemetery and made us feel it.
Good luck in the contest,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Your three lines absolutely captured my heart. I'll be honest, short poems are hard to pull off, but you took the walk of an old man in a cemetery and made us feel it.
Good luck in the contest,
Rhonda
Comment Written 28-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2023
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Thank you Rhonda. I usually avoided the short poems because I didn't particularly enjoy them. FanStories calls for so many of them in contests so I thought I should try to learn to appreciate them.
Beth
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I've tried for grins before, but was abysmal at them. I like to read them, because I'm impressed with people's ability to express thoughts in short phrases.
