Happy and Free
I brought this out for Memorial Day50 total reviews
Comment from Paul Manton
Hi, Debi. I think reviewing this on Independence Day couldn't be more appropriate. Happy 4th of July!
Technical: eight quatrains in iambic tetrameter, in rhymed couplets - and all perfect!
Just like the picture - special to today - and then the eight subjects you choose to celebrate your freedom: intro/happy word; marriage, children, freedom of expression, church, freedom of choice in politics and religion; those who fought to keep us free; conclusion - summary of 'a free life'.
Nothing to criticize - you could abbreviate 'This poem's not . . .' (verse 6) which would help the rhythm - otherwise a super tribute to your country on Independence Day. Yeehaa!
Paul
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2023
Hi, Debi. I think reviewing this on Independence Day couldn't be more appropriate. Happy 4th of July!
Technical: eight quatrains in iambic tetrameter, in rhymed couplets - and all perfect!
Just like the picture - special to today - and then the eight subjects you choose to celebrate your freedom: intro/happy word; marriage, children, freedom of expression, church, freedom of choice in politics and religion; those who fought to keep us free; conclusion - summary of 'a free life'.
Nothing to criticize - you could abbreviate 'This poem's not . . .' (verse 6) which would help the rhythm - otherwise a super tribute to your country on Independence Day. Yeehaa!
Paul
Comment Written 04-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2023
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Thanks Paul for the kind comments and always thoughtful comments and feedback. It is aways appreciated, my dear friend.
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In case you want to contact me at home, my email is paulikann@me.com
I know you won't abuse that - and share it with the Christian writers who are your close friends - just the people you trust.
Paul
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Thank you Paul. I never share anything with anyone without permission. I have too much respect for others to do that. Thanks and I will put it into my addresses.
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God bless you all.
Comment from w.j.debi
Great notation, "Don't take it for granted."
You let us know the many freedoms your are grateful for. Each stanza highlights a different one and you change up the refrain line just a bit to emphasis your points.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2023
Great notation, "Don't take it for granted."
You let us know the many freedoms your are grateful for. Each stanza highlights a different one and you change up the refrain line just a bit to emphasis your points.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2023
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Hi Debi, and thanks so much for your kind comments for this happy and free poem. So much appreciated my dear friend.
Comment from Anne Theriault
So easy to read this poem. It seems to include us all. Liked the color-combinations, the different fonts meant to emphasize the colors of the flag. It was meaningful because it progressed in stages, meaning-wise, covering a whole life. The rhythm was consistent, and I personally liked the theme. Good luck!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2023
So easy to read this poem. It seems to include us all. Liked the color-combinations, the different fonts meant to emphasize the colors of the flag. It was meaningful because it progressed in stages, meaning-wise, covering a whole life. The rhythm was consistent, and I personally liked the theme. Good luck!
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2023
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Hi Anne, and thanks so much for your kind comments for this happy and free poem. So much appreciated my dear friend.
Comment from royowen
This is an excellent post, I enjoyed it so much. Yes I agree with all these things, we really do have a life were we can choose, my two girls have long successful loving marriages, with great hubbies, and lovely children with great self images, and all are outstandingly gifted, yes I am a blessed man, why? Because of the work of the cross, and a loving and gracious God, beautifully written my friend, loved it, good luck, blessings Roy
Suggestion : I look back at my worthwhile life.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
This is an excellent post, I enjoyed it so much. Yes I agree with all these things, we really do have a life were we can choose, my two girls have long successful loving marriages, with great hubbies, and lovely children with great self images, and all are outstandingly gifted, yes I am a blessed man, why? Because of the work of the cross, and a loving and gracious God, beautifully written my friend, loved it, good luck, blessings Roy
Suggestion : I look back at my worthwhile life.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Thanks so much Roy,. I know that when I was a girl, I remember how Russia ruled their country so harshly and I never forgot how strict they were and how awful communism seemed. My mother used to tell me that they couldn't be caught with a bible or they could be executed. So I have never forgotten that and don't take my freedom for granite. So thanks again my dear friend.
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Yep, I understand, there was a Christian couple here we knew.(Russians by birth) who smuggled bibles into Russia,
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I remember about stories like that and what an awesome story that would make.I may just write one for the 4th. Thanks again Roy.
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Bless you, you are a great witness to God?s goodness Debi,
Comment from karenina
Hmmm. I think I could guess with 99.9% certainty who wrote this... (smile)
It's patriotic and positive and entirely beautifully presented. Clever to play off the final line of each stanza with a different point of view of "free" --and to offset that in red!
Perfect entry for the Fourth of July long weekend. Lots have been in upheaval and yet freedom still rings...
Now let's pray for Ukraine... they also deserve this blessing!
You'll do great with this ~~ anonymous!
Karenina
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
Hmmm. I think I could guess with 99.9% certainty who wrote this... (smile)
It's patriotic and positive and entirely beautifully presented. Clever to play off the final line of each stanza with a different point of view of "free" --and to offset that in red!
Perfect entry for the Fourth of July long weekend. Lots have been in upheaval and yet freedom still rings...
Now let's pray for Ukraine... they also deserve this blessing!
You'll do great with this ~~ anonymous!
Karenina
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Thanks so much K. Those are some pretty good odds you were banking on, and I think I share those odds when I say I bet I know who you were guessing.
It was about the holiday we're in that made me think about when I was a girl, I remember how Russia ruled their country so harshly and I never forgot how strict they were and how awful communism seemed. My mother used to tell me that they couldn't be caught with a bible or they could be persecuted. So I have never forgotten that and I don't take my freedom for granted. So thanks again my dear friend.
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It's hard to be anonymous with such a stand out style!
Smile
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I knew it... Good guess right? But I did not say I thought it was you, so no rules were broken! Congrats...second place right? Nice!
Comment from Wendy G
A very nice poem celebrating the freedom one has to live a life with simple pleasures and freedom to choose to do so. One can be thankful and grateful and happy for each of the things mentioned: life, love and liberty. Best wishes for the contest.
We dy
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
A very nice poem celebrating the freedom one has to live a life with simple pleasures and freedom to choose to do so. One can be thankful and grateful and happy for each of the things mentioned: life, love and liberty. Best wishes for the contest.
We dy
Comment Written 03-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Thanks so much Wendy. I know that when I was a girl, I remember how Russia ruled their country so harshly and I never forgot how strict they were and how awful communism seemed. My mother used to tell me that they couldn't be caught with a bible or they could be persecuted. So I have never forgotten that and don't take my freedom for granted. So thanks again my dear friend.
Comment from tfawcus
A thought-provoking poem. How easy it is to take for granted those hard won freedoms that we are privileged to enjoy. Dark clouds are once more looming.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
A thought-provoking poem. How easy it is to take for granted those hard won freedoms that we are privileged to enjoy. Dark clouds are once more looming.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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I agree with you about the dark clouds and that's why I wrote that things are not the same. But yes, I worry for my grandkids. I don't know how old you are but as a girl I was told by my mother about Russia and other communist countries and I have always appreciated my freedom. I'm one who still gets teary-eyed over the National Anthem.
Thanks my friend for the very kind comments for my poem.
Much appreciated.
Comment from MissMerri
This sure looks like a winner to me. What a thoroughly delightful poem expressing so beautifully, in precise rhyme and melodic meter, the joys of freedom. I too appreciate so much the blessings of living in this country and I only regret that more people don't see how truly blessed they are. You did a wonderful job expressing your gratitude, and I hope you are a winner in the contest. I loved everything about this poem. MM
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
This sure looks like a winner to me. What a thoroughly delightful poem expressing so beautifully, in precise rhyme and melodic meter, the joys of freedom. I too appreciate so much the blessings of living in this country and I only regret that more people don't see how truly blessed they are. You did a wonderful job expressing your gratitude, and I hope you are a winner in the contest. I loved everything about this poem. MM
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2023
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Thanks so very much, Adonna for your very kind review and lovely comments. While growing up we were told about conmunism and how it was in Russia where they couldnt be caught w a Bible in their house or they could be executed. So I have never taken my freedom for granted......Thanks also for the six stars my very dear ffriend.
Comment from nomi338
Yes. Because we value our freedom, we must fight against those who think they know what is best for us and would take away certain freedoms, because they thin they know better. What they fail to realize is that if we did not have these freedoms, they would not be free to agitate for change.
I absolutely adore the beauty of your verses. Not just what you say, but also the beautiful way that you say it.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
Yes. Because we value our freedom, we must fight against those who think they know what is best for us and would take away certain freedoms, because they thin they know better. What they fail to realize is that if we did not have these freedoms, they would not be free to agitate for change.
I absolutely adore the beauty of your verses. Not just what you say, but also the beautiful way that you say it.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Truth is I had you on my mind for part of this Nomi! I also thought about how as a kid when we feared Russia and communism, I remember my parents telling me that Christians there couldn't even have a Bible in their house.
I have never taken my freedom for granted.
Thanks for the awesome comments and review, my friend!
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What do you think would happen to some of these guys that dress up as Nazis, in Russia they would be shot on sight.
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Thanks again dear one for your kindness,
Comment from Sarah Tummey
This poem flowed well. I liked the way you took it through your life - from marriage to raising children to being a grandma.
The line "To walk as far as I can see" really stood out, and the one about going to church by choice. As a blind person, I can't walk as far as I can see, and I find it difficult (at church especially) not to be able to quietly slip out of the room to collect my thoughts if I need to. I can still say I'm happy at times, but don't have the literal freedom that some people do.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
This poem flowed well. I liked the way you took it through your life - from marriage to raising children to being a grandma.
The line "To walk as far as I can see" really stood out, and the one about going to church by choice. As a blind person, I can't walk as far as I can see, and I find it difficult (at church especially) not to be able to quietly slip out of the room to collect my thoughts if I need to. I can still say I'm happy at times, but don't have the literal freedom that some people do.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2023
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Oh Sarah, I truly didn't mean to be insensitive to you, or any of the other blind people on this site. The truth is I just had my sight restored. Lupus had little by little done a number on my eyes and other parts. But then a few years I got shingles in my eyes and the damage was horrific. So I haven't had much sight either and this last Wed I had my second surgery where they put new lenses in and worked at fixing the damage to my retinas and now I can see much better. I used that term for myself, as I was crippled from the lupus too, hadn't walked in many years and last summer I had two different surgeries on my legs and then therapy for 8 months in my home. I just now am walking a little more on my own. So that was all about my challenge to walk as far as I can see. I wish I could give you more hope with your sight. God bless you and I will add you to my prayer list, my dear friend. Thank you for your kind comments.
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Thank you very much for the praying, and please don't worry. I didn't think you were insensitive at all. I was just explaining why the lines stood out to me, that's all. It was definitely a good poem, and I'm happy for you about your improved health.
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Thanks Sarah. God bless.