Reviews from

Coffee Lifetime Supply

Caffrey tries to order coffee online.

27 total reviews 
Comment from kahpot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow! A lifetime of coffee how hyped up is Caffrey going to be, I like the artwork you chose for this piece, and your excellent story begs the question about online ordering with all its downfalls is it really worth the trouble or expense, very well done and best wishes for your contest****kahpot

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
    Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Coffee is a Flash Fiction Contest Entry
Rich in Theme and Imagery.
It read and flowed well with no grammar issues as well.
...
Adjective and Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional.
While, Descriptive Measures aligned perfectly.
Good luck with this.
Ricky 1024

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 23-Jul-2019
    Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
reply by Ricky1024 on 24-Jul-2019
Comment from Earl Corp
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That would be a great thing if it happened. That's how you can tell it's fiction, there isn't a company in the world that would give up a lifetime supply of anything. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
    Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Bill Pinder
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love this story about a lifetime supply of coffee coming into the home. That would be a dream come true, Especially for a coffee lover like me. Great entry for the contest!
Bill

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
    Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Gunner Lil
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A true to life problem, with a happy
ending.
An easy read and kept this reader guessing
how Caffrey was going to handle the problem.
Enjoyed the story. Good job.
Thank you!

 Comment Written 18-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 18-Jul-2019
    Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well at least he was successful eventually. A lifetime of coffee sounds like a good solution, I was wondering where this story was going, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story!
Comment from Alex Rosel
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a neat piece of flash fiction. It focuses on one particular issue, and explores what happens when an Internet order goes missing. I like how you've constructed the prose, getting more and more exasperated :)

Here are a couple of points you might like to consider:

He sent a letter to the online company demanding his money back but he never received it. -- I'd insert a comma after demanding his money back.

he was happy after all the fighting against the company -- Spag? Capitalize He?

Good luck with the competition :)

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Thank you! I will fix the mistake.
Comment from rockmann
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Coffee for life? Sweet! However, your story has trouble with present and past tense. Here is an example: "They never answered back and not even answering his calls." It would have been better this way: They never answered back, and didn't even answer his calls.
These flash fiction contests are tricky, but take your time and reread what you've read and you'll see the ways it can be improved.

 Comment Written 16-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 16-Jul-2019
    Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story! I will fix the mistake.
Comment from Maria Millsaps
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Internet shopping- nice flash story of the challenges we face when shopping online.

A couple of suggestions.

He sent a letter to the online company demanding he wanted his money back but never received it.

Should read:
He sent a letter to the online company demanding his money back, but he never received it.


Caffrey was shocked that they forgot totally about his coffee.

Should read:
Caffrey was shocked they had totally forgotten about his coffee,

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
    Thank you! I will revise it.
Comment from DonandVicki
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A happy ending to the internet problem. It happens more often than you think. We have ordered things that never show up, when we complain they send us two of the same thing, go figure.

 Comment Written 14-Jul-2019


reply by the author on 14-Jul-2019
    Thank you! I am so happy that you enjoyed my story! :)