Eric's Epic Adventures
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Eric And His Alien Drone"Another adventure for Eric
34 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Very interesting! What would a stray horse know that Eric and Herbie should investigate? Has the horse witnessed a murrrrderrrr? What if the killer comes after nosey Eric for not minding his own business?
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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Very interesting! What would a stray horse know that Eric and Herbie should investigate? Has the horse witnessed a murrrrderrrr? What if the killer comes after nosey Eric for not minding his own business?
Comment Written 12-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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Thank you very much, my sweet friend, for the lovely six stars. No, the horse has been sent from the past to get Eric to help.... but what? That is what Eric wants to know. He has his Gizmo that can take Eric and Herbie anywhere in the past even to other planets. It was another gift from his alien friends. Having something like that gives me the perfect opportunity to write different a few nice scary adventures. :)) I do like writing those. Biggest hugs, my friend. xxxx
How are you? I don't see much of you anymore, not that I've been on much.
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I'm not on here much either. Editing a short story book... mostly procrastinating.
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Is it one we've read?
Comment from Gunner Lil
Excellent story line.
Good pace and an easy read.
This reader wanted more after paragraph.
You did great editing.
Herbie seems to be a young soul that keeps
Eric on his toes.
Thank You!
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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Excellent story line.
Good pace and an easy read.
This reader wanted more after paragraph.
You did great editing.
Herbie seems to be a young soul that keeps
Eric on his toes.
Thank You!
Comment Written 12-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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Thank you so much, Gunner. Yes, Herbie and Eric will be having lots of fun back in time. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Gail Denham
Most interesting - wouldn't every young boy (or girl) love to have a "toy" like that. Sure would. This sounds as if ti will be a fun story to explore. Enjoy messing about with it.
Good story.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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Most interesting - wouldn't every young boy (or girl) love to have a "toy" like that. Sure would. This sounds as if ti will be a fun story to explore. Enjoy messing about with it.
Good story.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2019
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Thank you, Gale. Yes, I know I'd like one and I'm an old granny!! lol. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your beginning chapter of your new book, Sandra. It was fun to read. I can see many possibilities awaiting Eric and Herbie in this new adventure. Your storyline flowed smoothly with great detail. I like Herbie's antics.
Please tell Eric I'm proud of him for working so hard.
(Not a criticism, just a comment: The picture is cute. Will it be the one you use for all of the chapters?)
Thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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I enjoyed your beginning chapter of your new book, Sandra. It was fun to read. I can see many possibilities awaiting Eric and Herbie in this new adventure. Your storyline flowed smoothly with great detail. I like Herbie's antics.
Please tell Eric I'm proud of him for working so hard.
(Not a criticism, just a comment: The picture is cute. Will it be the one you use for all of the chapters?)
Thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 12-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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I hadn't thought of that, Jan. What do you think? It might be simpler than trying to find other pictures to go with the story. I chose this one, as it's the picture of Herbie in the first book. A friend drew him for me after he read my description. The rest of the pictures are aliens and dinosaurs and spaceships, they wouldn't go with this story. I'll have to think about this now you've mentioned it. Thank you for the lovely review, my friend, and yes, I will pass your message on to Eric, he'll go all coy, I can see it now! lol. Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from phil nelson
Brilliant ! When I started reading I felt that this was just another children's story about an imaginary friend, but I must admit that you hooked me with your clever pacing and the intrigue of discovery. I do not see any errors and believe that you have a definite winner here Sandra. The way that you change from narrative to conversation is admirable and I thoroughly enjoyed this. I look forward to the continuation .
All the Best!
Phil
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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Brilliant ! When I started reading I felt that this was just another children's story about an imaginary friend, but I must admit that you hooked me with your clever pacing and the intrigue of discovery. I do not see any errors and believe that you have a definite winner here Sandra. The way that you change from narrative to conversation is admirable and I thoroughly enjoyed this. I look forward to the continuation .
All the Best!
Phil
Comment Written 12-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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What a lovely review, Phil, thank you so much. My grandson started this series off by asking me if I'd write an adventure story with him in it. As he is dyslexic and struggling to read, I jumped at the idea. It will give him that little extra bit of encouragement to try harder when he goes to his new school. I'm so pleased you will join me as I write it. Thank you. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from JudyE
This would be a fascinating book for children but also held my interest from start to finish.
I have a few suggestions:
"I think I'll wait a few weeks before I put the rest of my body in there," he shouted over to his drone friend, Herbie. "Come on, let's see if we can find some fossils."
Herbie was his alien mechanical friend, but to anyone who asked, he was just his drone. - extra space needed between paragraphs here
he had two rotors' coming out - delete apostrophe
He turned full circle to see where the person who owned him was - maybe 'to see where its owner was'
But somethings hit him. - apostrophe in 'somethings' - something's
"Although I don't understand how that's possible, it's only a few weeks old - period after 'possible'
"What do think happened?" - insert 'you' after 'do'
Eric's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "You can link up with brains?! - I don't think it's correct to have a question mark and an exclamation mark - just one or the other.
and went directly into the horse's., who didn't even blink when it went in! - delete period after 'horse's'. Would you say 'who didn't blink' or 'which didn't blink'?
which will be much better than just looking for dinosaur's toenails in stones!" - if your meaning is 'toenails of dinosaurs' (plural), the apostrophe should be after the 's' - so 'looking for dinosaurs' toenails'
Cheers
Judy
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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This would be a fascinating book for children but also held my interest from start to finish.
I have a few suggestions:
"I think I'll wait a few weeks before I put the rest of my body in there," he shouted over to his drone friend, Herbie. "Come on, let's see if we can find some fossils."
Herbie was his alien mechanical friend, but to anyone who asked, he was just his drone. - extra space needed between paragraphs here
he had two rotors' coming out - delete apostrophe
He turned full circle to see where the person who owned him was - maybe 'to see where its owner was'
But somethings hit him. - apostrophe in 'somethings' - something's
"Although I don't understand how that's possible, it's only a few weeks old - period after 'possible'
"What do think happened?" - insert 'you' after 'do'
Eric's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. "You can link up with brains?! - I don't think it's correct to have a question mark and an exclamation mark - just one or the other.
and went directly into the horse's., who didn't even blink when it went in! - delete period after 'horse's'. Would you say 'who didn't blink' or 'which didn't blink'?
which will be much better than just looking for dinosaur's toenails in stones!" - if your meaning is 'toenails of dinosaurs' (plural), the apostrophe should be after the 's' - so 'looking for dinosaurs' toenails'
Cheers
Judy
Comment Written 12-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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What a lot of silly errors! Thank goodness you found them, Judy, thank you so much. I must slow down when I edit so I don't do it again. Thank you so very much, you can come again!! LOL. I'm so pleased you liked the story though, there is lots of fun ahead. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
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Herbie sounds such a lot of fun. It's a great idea to give a drone a 'voice' and personality.
Comment from l.raven
Hi Sandra, one complaint...YOU STOPPED TO SOON sweet girl...
at least say where the horse came from...sigh...I know I will love this one...and I must say...what a handsome young man in the picture...and it's great to see Herbie's new talents...so bring them on...just found this late tonight...and Noah is sleeping...will read it to him tomorrow...I'm so excited...love the story so far...well done my awesome friend...and your picture is priceless...bunches of love...Lind
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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Hi Sandra, one complaint...YOU STOPPED TO SOON sweet girl...
at least say where the horse came from...sigh...I know I will love this one...and I must say...what a handsome young man in the picture...and it's great to see Herbie's new talents...so bring them on...just found this late tonight...and Noah is sleeping...will read it to him tomorrow...I'm so excited...love the story so far...well done my awesome friend...and your picture is priceless...bunches of love...Lind
Comment Written 11-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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LOL, Linda, thank you so much for those six stars! I hope Noah likes cowboys and Indians?? Every time I see Eric he asks if his next book is ready! No pressure from that lad! LOL. Thank you, my lovely friend, my smile is now a mile wide! (Yes, I have a big mouth!!!) I hope you're enjoying your stay with Noah, and your mum is feeling heaps better? Give Noah a hug from me. And there's another one for you. Love you too, my friend. :)) Sandra xxxxxx
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he just came in and gave me a paper to sigh...his sister and him want to put on a Iron Man show...he has a costume...now Abby gave me a paper giving me directions to the living room after dinner for the show...COME IN NEAR FRONT DOOR ENTRY...we went to an estate sale today...Noah found an old walkman for $1.00...and some kids cassette tapes...you would think they just invented them...he loves them...I must say...it has amazing sound...my daughter and I were surprised... and Noah loves cowboy and Indians...I told him about the new book...but he said he has a show to put on...LOL...but I know he will want me to read it...he's a nut...or Dinosaur one...LOL...well it's almost dinner...and you my wonderful friend are always so welcome...so much love...and smiling big back at you...xxoo
Comment from tfawcus
I'm loving this already! Great dialogue between Eric and Herbie. The alien is quite a character, like his VW namesake. I shall be hanging out for future episodes.
Just one spag. A missing apostrophe in,
But somethings hit him.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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I'm loving this already! Great dialogue between Eric and Herbie. The alien is quite a character, like his VW namesake. I shall be hanging out for future episodes.
Just one spag. A missing apostrophe in,
But somethings hit him.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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Aw, bless you, Tony! Thank you so much for the 6th star, and for finding that missing apostrophe! I've put it in now. I'm so pleased you are going to join me in this romp, Eric has been asking me when his second book will be ready, BOYS!! He's so sweet, I have to get it done now. Thank you, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from Gert sherwood
Smiles to you sandramitchell
How nice it is that I'm abler to read your story from the beginning and glad I have a clever written story about
Eric and his alien drone adventures.
Gert
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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Smiles to you sandramitchell
How nice it is that I'm abler to read your story from the beginning and glad I have a clever written story about
Eric and his alien drone adventures.
Gert
Comment Written 11-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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Hello, Gert, thank you so much for reading the first part in Eric's new story. It's lovely to know you will read the rest, too. Thank you, my friend. :) Sandra xx
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You are welcome sandramitchell
Gert
Comment from damommy
I'm so glad to see Eric's on another adventure. I'm hooked already. I'd love to have a Herbie.
this may be too picky, but in this sentence, 'Or, perhaps his rider has fallen off and is lying injured somewhere,' would a boy that age use 'perhaps'?
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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I'm so glad to see Eric's on another adventure. I'm hooked already. I'd love to have a Herbie.
this may be too picky, but in this sentence, 'Or, perhaps his rider has fallen off and is lying injured somewhere,' would a boy that age use 'perhaps'?
Comment Written 11-Jul-2019
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2019
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You're never too picky, Yvonne' in fact I agreed with you and have changed that word to one more suitable for Eric. He definitely wouldn't use, 'perhaps'. :)) Thank you, my friend, for that, and for those wonderful, encouraging comments!! Big hugs, my friend. xxx Sandra
