Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Ingrid Lost"Flash Fiction
15 total reviews
Comment from visionary1234
Oh WHAT a piece of nastiness is here! I don't usually enjoy horror, but I "enjoyed" this one - I think, because it's very understated and casual in its tone, so the fact that Ingrid is dead (only revealed in the delightful 'twist') comes as a real HUH???? Well done!!!!! Definitely a sixer!!! :):)S
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Oh WHAT a piece of nastiness is here! I don't usually enjoy horror, but I "enjoyed" this one - I think, because it's very understated and casual in its tone, so the fact that Ingrid is dead (only revealed in the delightful 'twist') comes as a real HUH???? Well done!!!!! Definitely a sixer!!! :):)S
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Thank you!! I love how you point out the twist. I had a good teacher. ;)
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Indeed!
Comment from Alex Rosel
I think this is a good entry for the Horror contest.
Here are a couple of points you might like to consider:
perusing the neighborhood section of the paper, circling yard sales -- I like this snippet of your narrative. It evokes ill-feeling even though there is nothing sinister in the individual words :)
a purchase from one of these quests -- I'm not sure what was purchased. The worn pen? The linoleum table? Or what? Is this ambiguity intentional?
Good luck with the competition :)
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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I think this is a good entry for the Horror contest.
Here are a couple of points you might like to consider:
perusing the neighborhood section of the paper, circling yard sales -- I like this snippet of your narrative. It evokes ill-feeling even though there is nothing sinister in the individual words :)
a purchase from one of these quests -- I'm not sure what was purchased. The worn pen? The linoleum table? Or what? Is this ambiguity intentional?
Good luck with the competition :)
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Hmm. Did that not come through? Let me take a took. And Thank You for the suggestions. It's rare here ironically. Much appreciated!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a chilling tale of murder most horrid! Harold's calm demeanour snapped and there was no turning back, Ingrid had cracked her last egg, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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This is a chilling tale of murder most horrid! Harold's calm demeanour snapped and there was no turning back, Ingrid had cracked her last egg, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Thank you! I'm happy you liked it :)
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Well, the good news is that in prison, Harold will get to do as many crosswords as he wants, and no one will interrupt or insult him for it! You made this so eerie right from the start (the steaming kettle, the absent voice, saliva on the top of the pen, obligatory prayers) yet still managed to ratchet it up for that stellar ending. (I especially loved: "This table will collect so much damned dust ...He chuckled to himself, as if that was the forerunner in his current predicament." Funny what a man thinks of after he's just strangled his housemate...) Wonderfully done Horror contest entry, Gregorycody. I can see this doing VERY well! Good luck. xo
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Well, the good news is that in prison, Harold will get to do as many crosswords as he wants, and no one will interrupt or insult him for it! You made this so eerie right from the start (the steaming kettle, the absent voice, saliva on the top of the pen, obligatory prayers) yet still managed to ratchet it up for that stellar ending. (I especially loved: "This table will collect so much damned dust ...He chuckled to himself, as if that was the forerunner in his current predicament." Funny what a man thinks of after he's just strangled his housemate...) Wonderfully done Horror contest entry, Gregorycody. I can see this doing VERY well! Good luck. xo
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Thank you! What nice compliments. Truly I appreciate your thoughtful review. It's rare here ironically. Thank you!
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My pleasure. It was an enjoyable read...well, you know, as enjoyable as a story about strangling an old woman can be, of course...
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is a marvelous Horror Contest entry! I found no obvious evidence of SPAG which allowed me to read without distraction. The story holds the reader's complete attention from end to end. Your descriptive passages are wonderfully executed and paint a vivid picture without being too wordy or overpowering. All the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
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reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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This is a marvelous Horror Contest entry! I found no obvious evidence of SPAG which allowed me to read without distraction. The story holds the reader's complete attention from end to end. Your descriptive passages are wonderfully executed and paint a vivid picture without being too wordy or overpowering. All the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2019
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2019
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Thank you! I'm happy you liked it. And thank you for the thoughtful review :) I appreciate these
