Reviews from

Caterpillar sleeps

5-7-5 contest entry

29 total reviews 
Comment from Ogden
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The adult does have the survival advantage, especially when the kids are caterpillars, if I get your drift.
Good luck in the 5-7-5 poetry contest!
:o)
Ogden (Don)


 Comment Written 22-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
    Absolutely, thank you for the awesome review Ogden.
    God bless
reply by Ogden on 23-Jun-2019
    You're very welcome!
    Don
Comment from Jeffrey L. Michaux
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like this. I imagine many things could happen before and during this transformation. Something could eat it, or, something could go wrong during the transformation. I like this well thought out and well written work. Well done!

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
    Thank you Jeffrey, I enjoy these little pieces.
    God bless
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Exquisite, and I don't have any six's left :(
I love this because, even though you are writing about butterflies and caterpillars, I can relate your words to life within the human realm.
Perfectly chosen artwork and love your color scheme.
An exceptional contest entry! Best wishes!

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
    Thank you, Gale, for this amazing review.
    God bless
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very well-written 5-7-5 poem about the caterpillar that takes a long sleep and transforms into a beautiful butterfly that seems to fulfill his dreams.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
    Sandra, thank you for the awesome review.
    God bless
Comment from john mallahan
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So true, right? Can only see all those chyrisallis, chrisally? SP anyway, am sure--maybe will get a spell check, who knows. Luck to all! Getting through the poetic submission!

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
    Thank you, John.
    God bless
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I love it when a writer can present something common and give it such a new slant. This is really imaginative (who thinks about a caterpillar's dreams, after all..) and thought-provoking. Plus you chose really good artwork to complement your work. GREAT entry, Mystery Poet! xo

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
    Thank you for the awesome review, Rachelle.
    God bless
Comment from Sylvia Page
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

butterfly survives - yes it does survive from extinction battling the toxic environment, then goes through a tedious transformation while the caterpillar dreams!
Loved your imagery in this 5-7-5
Best wishes
Sylvia

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
    So true. Thank you for this awesome review.
    God bless
reply by Sylvia Page on 23-Jun-2019
    I enjoyed reviewing
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This meets the contest requirements nicely with three lines of a short-long-short format and a 5-7-5 syllable count. Lines 1 and 2 interconnect smoothly and provide the reader of a concrete image. The touch of alliteration adds flavor to the piece. A seasonal reference can be easily implied by the timing of when a caterpillar goes into cocoon mode. Good luck in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 23-Jun-2019
    Thank you for this inspiring review, Mystic. I do love to craft these little guys.
    God bless
Comment from Gail Denham
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

nice going - what a great picture someone has created of the caterpillar to the butterfly - God created some amazing creatures - this is one of them. I like the line "and the caterpillar dreams" - hmmm I wonder if he/she knows what they will be in the end. or if they have intuition.?

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
    You pose a great question. Now I wonder the same thing lol. Thank you for the awesome review.
    God bless
Comment from the13thpoet
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I liked your poem, it is a good entry for the contest, I wish you luck. That being said, can I offer my opinion? I think it will tell the story a little better if it were

caterpillar dreams
tedious transformation
butterfly is born

just my opinion, and not a criticism..... good job


This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 22-Jun-2019
    Thank for the review. The committee is already reviewing. I like your suggestion, not sure if we're allowed to change at this time.
    God bless.