Comment from ExperiencingLiphe

Excellent

I love it and I love that you were both so welcoming to each other. I'm a person with a thick shell around me so I sat here wondering what kinds of hoops I would have made him jump through. It made me laugh. I'm glad you're not me and you were so much more open. Great job

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019

Thank you so much for this wonderful review. I'm really pleased. All best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

Wow! This is an amazing story unfolding here Ulla, how fascinating, I expect you have much more to tell and I shall be tuning in. To find you have more family than expected in life is such a joy, even though you discover it late in life, I wish you well, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019

Thank you so much, Dolly. I so appreciate your review. All the best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Roxanna Andrews

Excellent

I'm so sorry you lost your father too soon after finding him, but how wonderful that you found a brother who welcomed you with open arms and was excited to have a sister. Wonderful to have a family who loves and accepts you. Great story. Rox

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019

Thanks a lot, Roxanna. We had a little over five years, and for that I'm grateful. Kind regards. Ulla:)))

Comment from Randa Dayle

Excellent

What a wonderful non fiction story. I am glad you got to meet and know your father, and your brother. How wonderful Thanks for sharing with us, may you continue to do so!

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019

Thanks a lot, Randa. I' really pleased you liked it. All best. Ulla:)))

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Once again, I am fascinated with your life. Honestly, my is very boring. Nothing exciting. You did a great job writing this and it is a very strong contest entry. I am sure you will show well, but good luck, just in case.

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019

Hi Barbara, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. All best. Ulla:)))

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

What a wonderful slice of your life...to find a brother as your dad was dying was bitter sweet
But a powerful way to grieve and heal
It was a powerful read. Thank you
God bless

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 01-Apr-2019

Thank you so much, Jenny. I so appreciate that you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))

reply by kiwijenny on 01-Apr-2019

:-)

Comment from susand3022

Excellent

Hi Ulla, I really enjoyed reading your contest entry! Something very similar happened in my own family. My mom had a son before she met my dad, and she'd given him up for adoption. She's 90 now and in those days it was what was done. He did find her though. We all knew he was out there somewhere by then and were so happy when he found us. I expect he was surprised! He grew up just a couple of hours away from where we did. When it came down to comparing their lives, it was scary how much he was like her. Are you like your sibblings?

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2019

Thank you so much, Susan. I'm glad you liked this. I only have the one brother and yes, we are alike. But what I keep on learning is that my father I and are so similar in temperament and expression that it's uncanny. As my brother and sister-in-law say. No need for a DNA we know who you are, and we knew it from day one.
I'mglad you've had a similar experience. All best. Ulla:)))

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I remember reading some of this in your story, Ulla. You've had a very colourful life, what with all the ups and downs. There's been a lot of pain and a lot of joy in your life finding your siblings being a wonderful part. And it's all brought you to where you are today, a happy, contented lady. Well done, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 31-Mar-2019

Thank you so much Sandra. I did write how I found my father and that I learned I had a brother, but it's the first time I've told about this part. Although, I only knew my father for barely six years, I still feel grateful for the time we had and that I found him at all. A big hug. Ulla xxx

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Exceptional

Beautiful story! I think you were right not to see your father near the end, since he would have looked very weak and sick, and this way you can remember him strong and healthy in his prime.

What a great surprise to find Reuben existed and wanted to get to know you and be a part of your life. Your life is filled with amazing moments. You're a lucky lady, indeed. :)

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2019

Wow, thank you so much, Phyllis and for the beautiful extra star. I'm so pleased. Yes, I have been lucky indeed. Reuben and I have become very close. I visited yet again last year and was embraced in my now extended family. We also speak at least once a month on Skype. It's wonderful. Thank you so much again. Ulla:)))

Comment from shaffer40

Excellent

Don't fret. This undertaking will be successful IMO. This is a touching account of loss and gain, well-written as well as poignant. I just had some editing suggestions that I hope will be helpful:

The word "both" is redundant in these two places and can be omitted:
They both shared the same name.
but we both agreed

No comma following "An email"
An email I'd been anxiously awaiting.

Omit "very" -- usually weakens the image; rest of sentence reveals how ill.
went on to say that Dad was ill

Comma after "touch with me"

For a fearful moment, I didn't know what to say. I was rendered speechless.
Omit "I didn't know what to say." Fewer words create a stronger image.
Suggest: For a fearful moment, I was rendered speechless.

Small "m" -- "Hello, my name is Ulla..."

Question mark after "Wow, what can I say?"

my new-found sister -- "newfound" is one word -- no hyphen

Add word: If I could have hugged him, I would have done[so].

"Day" used too close. Suggest: Within a few weeks, the doctors conceded...

how he got weaker
Suggest: I could hear him becoming weaker

"Family" used twice in sentence. Suggest omit second one and change "everybody" to "they":
too much strain on the rest of the family to take in a new member that they had only heard about.

deathbed -- one word

Suggest omitting: "It is hard to describe." You have, in fact, described it wonderfully, and that statement weakens its dramatic effect.

You have "each other" three times. "homecoming" one word.
Suggest:
Although we'd never met or even shared photographs, we immediately recognised each other. We embraced, both of us in tears. It was a homecoming.

You repeat "talk" too many times in this paragraph. Omit the third one and omit "being"--change "not to mention" to "as well as".
Suggest:
We'd run into the rush hour, but that didn't stop us from talking, and woah, did we have a lot to talk about! My brother, nineteen years younger, spoke with pride about his daughter and three boys, as well as Kimberly, my sister-in-law.

Suggest [change "talk" again]:
I told him all about my daughter, Amelie, in Denmark, and, of course, my then husband, Alan

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2019

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reply by the author on 30-Mar-2019

Hi there, it took me me a while to understand why I shouldn't fret because I wasn't at all fretting: until I realised it was about all your corrections. Well, I have to say that I've never had so many contradicting corrections from so many writers to anyone piece I've ever written. At the moment I hardly know what leg to stand on.
I'm looking into it right now and see what more I can do to correct my piece without it all falling apart. I'm beginning to think it wasn't actually me writing this? Thanks a lot for your review. Ulla:)))

reply by shaffer40 on 30-Mar-2019

I know how you feel about this. I've had a lot of things published and I've had many of them edited, sometimes by editors who change things just for the sake of changing them. I assure you I'm not one of those; I suggest changes only when I feel they're important, and I've been told I'm pretty good putting a sentence together. What I meant by "don't fret" had nothing to do with any perceived errors; I was responding to your comment that you weren't sure you had what it takes to be a writer. I was saying that IMO (in my opinion) you do. So, anyway, try my changes and see if it doesn't read better. You can also look up some of them for correctness.

reply by the author on 30-Mar-2019

I'm sorry If I came across being rude. That was never my intention. I've actually just finished editing and picked up most of your suggestions. I would love to give you a thumb but I've already used all I have for this month. Sorry if I came across a bit off. I so appreciate your help. Ulla:)))

reply by shaffer40 on 30-Mar-2019

Well, I'm relieved that I didn't come across like a know-it-all and that you found my suggestions useful. I didn't think you were rude at all. You should see me when some editor changes something I don't like -- grrrrrrrrr....... The good thing about this setup is that you have a chance to use or not use. I've had editors change things and then publish them without my consent, and they're not always good changes. That's one of the bad features of being a writer; we're at their mercy so to speak. I have a friend who edits a lot of my stuff, and I've learned much from her. Anyway, thanks for the nice response. Keep writing. If I can help with anything let me know (or maybe I've helped more than enough -- ha ha).

reply by the author on 30-Mar-2019

Oh, I will contact you for advise if I may. My piece reads so much better now, and that is thanks to you. I'm so grateful for all your help, and pleased that you're not angry with me. Ulla:)))

reply by shaffer40 on 30-Mar-2019

OK. Feel free. If I can't answer a question I have friends who are really good at this.