Your Arms
a ghazal62 total reviews
Comment from LeRoy Bertsch
I really like the poem. the feeling is raw I am a hopeless romantic and always wish for a happy ending but unfortunately, sometimes that is not life. My favorite line
"Strange how your absence tightens its grip around me.
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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I really like the poem. the feeling is raw I am a hopeless romantic and always wish for a happy ending but unfortunately, sometimes that is not life. My favorite line
"Strange how your absence tightens its grip around me.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Yes, LeRoy, that is one of my favorite lines, too, because it sums up the poem. Absence is a form of asphyxiation. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Poetic Friend
This is an exceptionally written romantic poem. I usage of the couplets add flavor to a romance for two (couplets for a couple). The recipient of this poem (the person who inspired the poem) must be smiling from ear to ear. What woman wouldn't?
I love the couplets that mention a blood pressure cuffs! Wow, what a simile.
Love this poem!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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This is an exceptionally written romantic poem. I usage of the couplets add flavor to a romance for two (couplets for a couple). The recipient of this poem (the person who inspired the poem) must be smiling from ear to ear. What woman wouldn't?
I love the couplets that mention a blood pressure cuffs! Wow, what a simile.
Love this poem!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Yes, I love that blood pressure cuff, too. It's a great simile. Thank you for your review of my romantic poem.
Comment from Ogden
I can't comment on your intriguing poem as a ghazal, a new form to me, but I can comment about about the writing. First I had to deal with your 'cleatrices.' Abrasions? If I were to take the metaphors literally, your lover would be an extraordinary creature. One image defies my imagination - fingers taking the shape of a human centipede (that's tough enough, but with twenty legs?).She certainly is sui generis, but I'm glad she's yours, Andre.
Don (Ogden)
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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I can't comment on your intriguing poem as a ghazal, a new form to me, but I can comment about about the writing. First I had to deal with your 'cleatrices.' Abrasions? If I were to take the metaphors literally, your lover would be an extraordinary creature. One image defies my imagination - fingers taking the shape of a human centipede (that's tough enough, but with twenty legs?).She certainly is sui generis, but I'm glad she's yours, Andre.
Don (Ogden)
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Ha, thank you, Don, for your review of the strange imagery and metaphors of my poem. I appreciate it.
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You are most welcome, Andre.
Comment from Neonewman
Very well crafted my friend. I have been single since 1991 when I split with mine. The pain was too intense and I would rather be alone than to feel such pain again.
God bless!
Steve
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Very well crafted my friend. I have been single since 1991 when I split with mine. The pain was too intense and I would rather be alone than to feel such pain again.
God bless!
Steve
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Yes, Steve, the pain of separation can be intense, as I well know from experience. Sometimes it can be too much pain to such an extent that one chooses to remain single. Thank you for your review.
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My pleasure!
Comment from Treischel
I was impressed with all the outstanding images you presented here in this exquisite Ghazal format. Not only the number of realizations, but also the rich tapestry of the various experiences that blew me away, such as: phantom limbs, finger worried cicatrices (Wow!), human centipede, limbs squinched in anaconda coils (great metaphor), centuar-like (fine simile). You brought the story full circle from a romance to a tragedy. A stunning portrait of love and pain. I was amazed at the abilityt to repeat that rhyme in some many different aspects. Bravo!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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I was impressed with all the outstanding images you presented here in this exquisite Ghazal format. Not only the number of realizations, but also the rich tapestry of the various experiences that blew me away, such as: phantom limbs, finger worried cicatrices (Wow!), human centipede, limbs squinched in anaconda coils (great metaphor), centuar-like (fine simile). You brought the story full circle from a romance to a tragedy. A stunning portrait of love and pain. I was amazed at the abilityt to repeat that rhyme in some many different aspects. Bravo!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Treischel, for your generous, six star review. Even though I have abandoned this poem as incorrect ghazal because it is missing a qaafiyaa, I am still impressed by the rich tapestry of imagery, creating a strange, exotic portrait of love and pain.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from Liberty Justice
How beautifully you portray the love and love making of your lover. "Spooning" is such interesting term. Your words and descriptions paint such a loving and longing picture of you, two. What a depressing end to the story, that she is now gone. I'm so sorry for your loss. WELL DONE! lol liberty justice KEEP WRITING MASTER SisCat!
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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How beautifully you portray the love and love making of your lover. "Spooning" is such interesting term. Your words and descriptions paint such a loving and longing picture of you, two. What a depressing end to the story, that she is now gone. I'm so sorry for your loss. WELL DONE! lol liberty justice KEEP WRITING MASTER SisCat!
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Yes, Liberty Justice, but I turned my sorrow into this poem! Thank you for your review and compliments. I'll keep writing!
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is beautifully constructed and completely true to form. This really made me think about how ingrained each detail of a loved one's physical being can become within our minds. From a tiny scar to a mole or small wrinkle line - it is all there etched indelibly in our memories. I thoroughly enjoyed this and thank you very much for sharing it.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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This is beautifully constructed and completely true to form. This really made me think about how ingrained each detail of a loved one's physical being can become within our minds. From a tiny scar to a mole or small wrinkle line - it is all there etched indelibly in our memories. I thoroughly enjoyed this and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Thanks again, Mystic Angel, for your review. Yes, each detail of a lover's body is ingrained in us as memory. Thanks again.
Comment from smileycloud
very lovely romance and life together while it was alive for your two characters
your form/style of your poem is perfect
I am so pleased that I could learn from your author notes about the ghazal
it is very sad that she left him but the poem handled it really well
have a smiley day
Lorraine
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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very lovely romance and life together while it was alive for your two characters
your form/style of your poem is perfect
I am so pleased that I could learn from your author notes about the ghazal
it is very sad that she left him but the poem handled it really well
have a smiley day
Lorraine
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Thank you, Loraine, for your review. Yes, no happy ending for the couple here. At least you enjoyed my poem and author's notes about the ghazal. Thank you for your review.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
"Your Arms", is an extremely-well-written and deftly descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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"Your Arms", is an extremely-well-written and deftly descriptive piece. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Duchess, for your review and compliments. My next post is coming up!
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Sis Cat, as always, you're very welcome.
I'll look forward to seeing your next post!
Bless you and Merry Christmas,
the Duchess
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your use of the Ghazal as your format for this lost love poem. I am pleased Ameen786 helped to inspire your interest in the form. Your vivid images, as in the "centipede" and the "anaconda" were very effective, as was your appeal to our senses of sight, taste and touch. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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I admired your use of the Ghazal as your format for this lost love poem. I am pleased Ameen786 helped to inspire your interest in the form. Your vivid images, as in the "centipede" and the "anaconda" were very effective, as was your appeal to our senses of sight, taste and touch. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 11-Dec-2017
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2017
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Oh, thank you, Joan, for your review and for pointing out my vivid imagery. I, too, am thankful that Ameem786 directed me to study ghazals by the Pashto and Urdu masters of the form.
