A Compilation of Short stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "An Intro To a Story"Expressions
21 total reviews
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Terrifying ending, unexpectedly but fitting. This was very hard to read becasue it was so horrific. I'll probably have nightmares. The writing is just TOO good! LOL
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017
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Terrifying ending, unexpectedly but fitting. This was very hard to read becasue it was so horrific. I'll probably have nightmares. The writing is just TOO good! LOL
Comment Written 29-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2017
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Thanks so much, Phyllis. I'm glad you liked it. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Sasha
That has always been one of my greatest fears and here you go and write it down. Great job and it sent shivers up my spine. I would definitely want to read more and learn that somehow he is saved and gets out of the coffin. Very nice work with this one.
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That has always been one of my greatest fears and here you go and write it down. Great job and it sent shivers up my spine. I would definitely want to read more and learn that somehow he is saved and gets out of the coffin. Very nice work with this one.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2017
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This is an excellent start to a story, Ulla. The concluding sentence is really full of horror. The immediate sense is to read further, to find out how this poor man, if it is a man, gets out of this situation well done, Giddy
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This is an excellent start to a story, Ulla. The concluding sentence is really full of horror. The immediate sense is to read further, to find out how this poor man, if it is a man, gets out of this situation well done, Giddy
Comment Written 28-Oct-2017
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Ulla
= Oh, this is a story I want to read. Gotta be the winner in the contest.
= I want to find out how he gets out of that coffin!
= Superb end hook, my friend.
= Good luck in the contest.
=> FYI <= If you write this sentence in italics, where he's wondering to himself, then you can do away with the dialogue tag: (he wondered)
WHY? The italics tell the reader he's thinking, so the narrator doesn't had to tell the reader. (*<*)
- Was this how it was to be dead, he wondered?
= Going on a long weekend holiday, so won't be online to review for a few days.
Cheers, J
Have a great day/evening.
(*>*) A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-Down (*<*)
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Hi, Ulla
= Oh, this is a story I want to read. Gotta be the winner in the contest.
= I want to find out how he gets out of that coffin!
= Superb end hook, my friend.
= Good luck in the contest.
=> FYI <= If you write this sentence in italics, where he's wondering to himself, then you can do away with the dialogue tag: (he wondered)
WHY? The italics tell the reader he's thinking, so the narrator doesn't had to tell the reader. (*<*)
- Was this how it was to be dead, he wondered?
= Going on a long weekend holiday, so won't be online to review for a few days.
Cheers, J
Have a great day/evening.
(*>*) A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-Down (*<*)
Comment Written 28-Oct-2017
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hola Ulla,
Oh no... this is one of my greatest fears... being buried alive. What a horrible thought. This is perfect for the Halloween season...good choice my friend! Excellent writing.
Gypsy hugs
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Hola Ulla,
Oh no... this is one of my greatest fears... being buried alive. What a horrible thought. This is perfect for the Halloween season...good choice my friend! Excellent writing.
Gypsy hugs
Comment Written 28-Oct-2017
Comment from damommy
Great start. But you've always had good starters. Are you going to develop this story? I hope so.
-all they registered were darkness (was darkness)
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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Great start. But you've always had good starters. Are you going to develop this story? I hope so.
-all they registered were darkness (was darkness)
Comment Written 28-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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Thanks a lot, Yvonne. I'm so glad you liked it. Most did but one didn't. Sigh! never mind. You win some and you loose some. I've made the correction. I was in doubt whether it should be were or was. You;ve given me the answer. All the best. Ulla:)))
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I don't want to be labeled a Grammar Nazi. lol
Never mind the negative review. One out of many is fine. I got a three the other day on a piece that everyone gave mostly sixes to. When I questioned why, no reply. I gave them a 'raspberry.' lol
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I know, I shouldn't get upset, but sometimes it just is annoying. When you're judge on content only and not the actual writing. I know, I need to get over it. LOL xx
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It's hard to ignore, but it's best to do so. No sense upsetting yourself because someone is totally ignorant. 8-)
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is an interesting story but it seems a bit choppy to me.
I might try to connect some of the sentences for a better flow.
Good luck in the contest.
Sharon
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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This is an interesting story but it seems a bit choppy to me.
I might try to connect some of the sentences for a better flow.
Good luck in the contest.
Sharon
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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Thanks, and it's not a contest. It's an exercise in writing an intro to a story. Ulla
Comment from pbomar1115
Just the thought of being buried is terrifying. Unable to get out of a small box six feet underground, covered with dirt where no one can hear or know your whereabouts can bring on a sudden heart attack. Terrible feeling. Good luck in the contest.
Phillip
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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Just the thought of being buried is terrifying. Unable to get out of a small box six feet underground, covered with dirt where no one can hear or know your whereabouts can bring on a sudden heart attack. Terrible feeling. Good luck in the contest.
Phillip
Comment Written 28-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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Thanks a lot for the comments, Phillip. It must be horrifying. All the best. Ulla :))
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You're welcome, Ulla.
Phillip
Comment from nancy_e_davis
They used to tie a bell's string on a finger in case a person wasn't dead. If they moved the bell would ring. Someone was to keep watch, I don't know how long. That's scary. No chance of that today. They just drain your life's blood out of you until you are for sure dead. HAHAHA. I'm for staying alive!!! How about you? Hugs. Nancy
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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They used to tie a bell's string on a finger in case a person wasn't dead. If they moved the bell would ring. Someone was to keep watch, I don't know how long. That's scary. No chance of that today. They just drain your life's blood out of you until you are for sure dead. HAHAHA. I'm for staying alive!!! How about you? Hugs. Nancy
Comment Written 28-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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Hahaha. Thanks a lot Nancy, I agree with you. I'm for staying alive as well, but this poor fellow is not in the morgue of a hospital. I loved your fun review. Hugs to you as well. Ulla:)))
Comment from F. Wehr3
Nice, griping opening, Ulla. It made me want to read more, which is the purpose of the exercise. Are you planning to continue this? I think you should.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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Nice, griping opening, Ulla. It made me want to read more, which is the purpose of the exercise. Are you planning to continue this? I think you should.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 28-Oct-2017
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
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Wow, Russell, Thank you so much. I'm overwhelmed with your lovely recognition. If I were to continue the story, it would probably end up being a novel rather than a short story. I may just have an idea. Thank you so much again, I'm so pleased. All the best, Ulla:))
