Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "senryu (lost her curly hair)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
23 total reviews
Comment from krys123
Hi Gypsy;
-the said sarcasm that this SENRYU pertains relates to the inevitability that is sometimes challenged when it comes to cancer. However some inevitability's have been proven wrong and there have been survivors.
-Your first 2 lines give that demonstrative description and a very vivid awareness parentheses ( in the 2nd line) that she has hope in her eyes or could that be love?
The last line "spirit anyway" is with sarcasm comes in that even though she is inflicted with cancer, or that's what the picture implies, her spirit is either somewhat question in the statement in a sarcastic retort to the previous 2 lines.
-A very powerful senryu that is very well written and is a good example of this type of poetry.
-Take care and have a good one especially with ones that you love dearly.
Alex
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Hi Gypsy;
-the said sarcasm that this SENRYU pertains relates to the inevitability that is sometimes challenged when it comes to cancer. However some inevitability's have been proven wrong and there have been survivors.
-Your first 2 lines give that demonstrative description and a very vivid awareness parentheses ( in the 2nd line) that she has hope in her eyes or could that be love?
The last line "spirit anyway" is with sarcasm comes in that even though she is inflicted with cancer, or that's what the picture implies, her spirit is either somewhat question in the statement in a sarcastic retort to the previous 2 lines.
-A very powerful senryu that is very well written and is a good example of this type of poetry.
-Take care and have a good one especially with ones that you love dearly.
Alex
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review and the kind words. Thank you for the six stars.... that is very generous of you.
Gypsy
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You are very welcome, Gypsy
Alex
Comment from Mark Valentine
"Spirit away" - what a perfect phrase to capture the experience of a child having childhood stolen by cancer. And the literal hair loss serves as a metaphor that reinforces this dynamic. (making the hair be "curly" adds another touch of childhood whimsy as that seems to be an adjective we associate with children's hair).
Once again you've achieved maximum impact with minimum words - love it!
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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"Spirit away" - what a perfect phrase to capture the experience of a child having childhood stolen by cancer. And the literal hair loss serves as a metaphor that reinforces this dynamic. (making the hair be "curly" adds another touch of childhood whimsy as that seems to be an adjective we associate with children's hair).
Once again you've achieved maximum impact with minimum words - love it!
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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You are the first one who got it the way I intended but almost everyone understood what is about. I always look forward to your opinion and reviews. Thank you for the review and the kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Ric Myworld
It's hard to imagine why bad things have to happen to sweet, little children. Sometimes it makes me, and most I'm sure, wonder how the Almighty could ever sit back and not use His ability to make things all better, and do nothing. Then, we just have to say, maybe it's to take the pain away, and whisk them away to a brighter day. Thanks for sharing. :-)
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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It's hard to imagine why bad things have to happen to sweet, little children. Sometimes it makes me, and most I'm sure, wonder how the Almighty could ever sit back and not use His ability to make things all better, and do nothing. Then, we just have to say, maybe it's to take the pain away, and whisk them away to a brighter day. Thanks for sharing. :-)
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review and the kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Rasmine
Gypsy,
Love the music! I love the poem, too. Somehow I am thinking that the picture of the little girl is someone on a television show, and they played 'Radioactive'? Or is she losing her hair because of radioactivity?
Okay, I'm no expert, I just play one on FanStory. :P
Good luck in the contest. TC
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Gypsy,
Love the music! I love the poem, too. Somehow I am thinking that the picture of the little girl is someone on a television show, and they played 'Radioactive'? Or is she losing her hair because of radioactivity?
Okay, I'm no expert, I just play one on FanStory. :P
Good luck in the contest. TC
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review and the kind words. I was looking for music and found that video about stuffed animals and loved it. I think it's somewhat related. Radiation therapy=radioactive; stuffed animals=children; etc...
Gypsy
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Yes!
Comment from Hitcher
A sad little Haiku friend, the accompanying picture speaks a thousand words by itself. Your words are resonate with the picture and cause an emotional response which makes it a refined write : )
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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A sad little Haiku friend, the accompanying picture speaks a thousand words by itself. Your words are resonate with the picture and cause an emotional response which makes it a refined write : )
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie.
Gypsy
Comment from Joan E.
The picture you selected is worth a thousand words, and your tiny poem reinforces it perfectly. You even included alliteration, which intensifies the emotion. Sighs- Joan
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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The picture you selected is worth a thousand words, and your tiny poem reinforces it perfectly. You even included alliteration, which intensifies the emotion. Sighs- Joan
Comment Written 20-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words sweetie pie.
Gypsy
Comment from Ricky1024
Nice work here.
Theme flowed well with imagery.
Nice Adjective Content.
Same with Objective Content.
Interesting subject.
Thanks,
Ricky1024
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Nice work here.
Theme flowed well with imagery.
Nice Adjective Content.
Same with Objective Content.
Interesting subject.
Thanks,
Ricky1024
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Thank you for the review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Gloria ....
A book of haiku on illness is really a terrific idea, Gypsy. My imagination sparked into high gear right away. Thank goodness it was a passing phase and I returned to my preferred state of ennui. :))
Great idea, excellent post.
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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A book of haiku on illness is really a terrific idea, Gypsy. My imagination sparked into high gear right away. Thank goodness it was a passing phase and I returned to my preferred state of ennui. :))
Great idea, excellent post.
Gloria
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2017
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Hello my friend
It's one challenge, next week we'll have a new challenge. It's not a book about illness.
Thank you for the review and kind words. :) Gypsy
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Such a sad picture, Gypsy. Those little children receiving treatment that causes their hair to fall out must suffer such a blow. They are so brave.. Your haiku paints an image in our minds of how their spirit leaves them for a time. Giddy will
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Such a sad picture, Gypsy. Those little children receiving treatment that causes their hair to fall out must suffer such a blow. They are so brave.. Your haiku paints an image in our minds of how their spirit leaves them for a time. Giddy will
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Thank you very much for the excellent review and kind words.
Gypsy
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi Gypsy; this poem is so sad! I think of all the little children suffering from cancer and forced to go through the trials of the treatments. We are gaining some ground on some types of cancers, but still too many of these precious child leave us before they have even lived.
Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Hi Gypsy; this poem is so sad! I think of all the little children suffering from cancer and forced to go through the trials of the treatments. We are gaining some ground on some types of cancers, but still too many of these precious child leave us before they have even lived.
Thank you for sharing,
~patty~
Comment Written 19-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2017
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Thank you very much for the lovely review, you are very kind.
Gypsy
