Family Poems and Stories 2010-2017
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "The Bar Stool"...musings on us
57 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
What a sad, emotional story - well told,
driving home the way he's wasting his
life and has lost touch with his own
flesh and blood.
I brought my 3 little lads up alone for a number of years (after years of abuse) but finally met my present husband and we've been married for 40 yrs. I can well imagine how you feared your father might return - my boys were afraid, but their father never bothered about them at all and they finally took the surname of their step-dad.
Well penned, Patty.
Margaret
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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What a sad, emotional story - well told,
driving home the way he's wasting his
life and has lost touch with his own
flesh and blood.
I brought my 3 little lads up alone for a number of years (after years of abuse) but finally met my present husband and we've been married for 40 yrs. I can well imagine how you feared your father might return - my boys were afraid, but their father never bothered about them at all and they finally took the surname of their step-dad.
Well penned, Patty.
Margaret
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Hi Margaret; thank you for stopping by to read and review. I, too, met someone else who treats me like a queen, and the days of being abused are far away. I appreciate your kind words, and for you sharing a bit of your story with me. Thank goodness we are both in better places,
~patty~
Comment from apky
Another story that is so human and well-written, my friend. Like all the others of your stories, I enjoyed this one and could see the person and places because of your vivid descriptions.
When I read your author comments, I couldn't help bt feel with you.
I think you're over that childhood - albeit with lasting effects you obviously put to good positive use.
Happy Easter,
Apky
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Another story that is so human and well-written, my friend. Like all the others of your stories, I enjoyed this one and could see the person and places because of your vivid descriptions.
When I read your author comments, I couldn't help bt feel with you.
I think you're over that childhood - albeit with lasting effects you obviously put to good positive use.
Happy Easter,
Apky
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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thank you for stopping by to read and review. I appreciate your comments, and I am glad that you can see I'm in a much better place now. Thank you for the stars and excellent review,
Hope you have a great day,
~patty~😀
Comment from Asem.inspirations
Wow! This is a story that captures the heart. I usually can relate somehow to this kind of story but my father never left. He was true to my mother and all of us, his children, nine of us. He is still that terrific father, excellent man.
However, I always wondered how I always seemed to select fathers to y own children who were the man you described. So I realized that I can relate to your story because I knew this man in my children's realities that I reaped upon them with my choices of husbands who were only nightmares to my children. It reminds me of a poem I wrote called "Burglars, Monsters and Murderers."
I feel your pain in this story because I imagined it in my children's voices. I also lived this story with the husband from hell. Well, there were 2 of them, both horrible men. I'm sorry for your pain and wish you did not have this fear. No child should ever but this is a good story. It captured my interest and my heart.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Wow! This is a story that captures the heart. I usually can relate somehow to this kind of story but my father never left. He was true to my mother and all of us, his children, nine of us. He is still that terrific father, excellent man.
However, I always wondered how I always seemed to select fathers to y own children who were the man you described. So I realized that I can relate to your story because I knew this man in my children's realities that I reaped upon them with my choices of husbands who were only nightmares to my children. It reminds me of a poem I wrote called "Burglars, Monsters and Murderers."
I feel your pain in this story because I imagined it in my children's voices. I also lived this story with the husband from hell. Well, there were 2 of them, both horrible men. I'm sorry for your pain and wish you did not have this fear. No child should ever but this is a good story. It captured my interest and my heart.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Hi ,
Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I always appreciate your time and continuous support of my work. I am pleased you enjoyed this piece.
Hope you have a great day,
~patty~😀
Comment from Thal1959
Very, very good, Patty. I love the somber, though surprising ending. I can guess what you had gone through. My cousin, who is about a dozen years older than me, divorced here husband who drank - though I don't think it was from abuse... Marietta was a tough gal and he probably agreed to the divorce for his own safety! My sister divorced her second husband who drank. Not being a drinker, I really wonder what people see in alcohol, which I dislike because it tastes like cough medicine!
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Very, very good, Patty. I love the somber, though surprising ending. I can guess what you had gone through. My cousin, who is about a dozen years older than me, divorced here husband who drank - though I don't think it was from abuse... Marietta was a tough gal and he probably agreed to the divorce for his own safety! My sister divorced her second husband who drank. Not being a drinker, I really wonder what people see in alcohol, which I dislike because it tastes like cough medicine!
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Hi ,
Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I always appreciate your time and continuous support of my work. I am pleased you enjoyed this piece.
Hope you have a great day,
~patty~😀
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It was my pleasure, Patty.
Comment from Kerry Foley Robinson
Oh Patty that a very sad story, I am sorry for that. Unfortunately that how alcoholic are, thank god you survived it and have a good life with a good husband
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Oh Patty that a very sad story, I am sorry for that. Unfortunately that how alcoholic are, thank god you survived it and have a good life with a good husband
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Hi ,
Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I always appreciate your time and continuous support of my work. I am pleased you enjoyed this piece.
Hope you have a great day,
~patty~😀
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your welcome
Comment from Tpa
Terrific story, great theme. I liked your beginning. You kept this reader interested didn't know where the story was heading, quite stun at the end. It's unfortunate that people ruin their lives and those around them. GREAT READING
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Terrific story, great theme. I liked your beginning. You kept this reader interested didn't know where the story was heading, quite stun at the end. It's unfortunate that people ruin their lives and those around them. GREAT READING
Comment Written 14-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Hi ,
Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I always appreciate your time and continuous support of my work. I am pleased you enjoyed this piece.
Hope you have a great day,
~patty~😀
Comment from ciliverde
Oh dear, this ending had a twist that I wasn't expecting. This man has found a way out of his troubles, and he has a vision of happy kids to greet him, but that surely will not occur. What will he do, when he sees the frightened faces? I fear it will not end well, but we won't know - it's the perfect ending. I'm glad your fears never came to pass. My father wasn't a drinker, but he still managed to terrify all of us when he came home in a bad mood. Writing about these things is good therapy, if you can stand to do it...excellent job.
Carol
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Oh dear, this ending had a twist that I wasn't expecting. This man has found a way out of his troubles, and he has a vision of happy kids to greet him, but that surely will not occur. What will he do, when he sees the frightened faces? I fear it will not end well, but we won't know - it's the perfect ending. I'm glad your fears never came to pass. My father wasn't a drinker, but he still managed to terrify all of us when he came home in a bad mood. Writing about these things is good therapy, if you can stand to do it...excellent job.
Carol
Comment Written 13-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2017
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Hi ,
Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I always appreciate your time and continuous support of my work. I am pleased you enjoyed this piece. Your six star rating means the world to me - I don't take them for granted.
Hope you have a great day,
~patty~😀
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It was an excellent story - and my pleasure to read it :)
Carol
Comment from emptypage
You wrote, "He could remember their laughter. The only sound that brought him joy." May I suggest using a comma between these two sentences instead of a period? With the period, the second part is a fragment.
This is a terrifying little scene, Patty. And all the more so knowing you lived in fear of it. My own father was a spineless drunk. Now, 26 years sober, I like him a lot better.
Well told. Made my heart ache.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2017
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You wrote, "He could remember their laughter. The only sound that brought him joy." May I suggest using a comma between these two sentences instead of a period? With the period, the second part is a fragment.
This is a terrifying little scene, Patty. And all the more so knowing you lived in fear of it. My own father was a spineless drunk. Now, 26 years sober, I like him a lot better.
Well told. Made my heart ache.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2017
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Hi; thanks for making the suggestion. I went and changed it, and the sentence does read smoother. Have a blessed Easter.
~patty~
Comment from Heidi M
This short story packs a powerful punch. It was interesting to read it from his perspective. Usually, this type of story is told from the fearful mother's or even child's POV. It was almost like reading a prequel. You did an excellent job writing this.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2017
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This short story packs a powerful punch. It was interesting to read it from his perspective. Usually, this type of story is told from the fearful mother's or even child's POV. It was almost like reading a prequel. You did an excellent job writing this.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2017
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Hi Heidi,
Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I always appreciate your time and continuous support of my work. I am pleased you enjoyed this piece.
Hope you have a great day,
~patty~😀
Comment from frierajac
The cowboy places the stetson carefully crown down on the bar or the table to keep it from getting dusty. Just a detail I have been reminded of myself recently. I
am not sure he has one, or if its important to show he is still aware after the beers.
Sorry, just a thought.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2017
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The cowboy places the stetson carefully crown down on the bar or the table to keep it from getting dusty. Just a detail I have been reminded of myself recently. I
am not sure he has one, or if its important to show he is still aware after the beers.
Sorry, just a thought.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2017
-
Hi ,
Thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. I always appreciate your time and continuous support of my work. I am pleased you enjoyed this piece.
Hope you have a great day,
~patty~😀
