I sang a simple, whispered note
Grief and its resolution: a glimpse of forever....27 total reviews
Comment from Marie Henry
This is a beautiful piece of work. The words roll along engaging the reader and bringing to mind gentle notes and melodies. The rhythm carries us through the beautiful descriptions, poignant and evocative. A very emotional production which is added to by the haunting image.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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This is a beautiful piece of work. The words roll along engaging the reader and bringing to mind gentle notes and melodies. The rhythm carries us through the beautiful descriptions, poignant and evocative. A very emotional production which is added to by the haunting image.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2016
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Marie, I really appreciate your interest and positive feedback in my work. I am new to the site and have a horrible feeling I may be answering more than once. If so, please excuse until I get the hang of this!
Comment from Louise Michelle
I believe that our loved ones do try to make contact with us after they pass, if we're just sensitive to the signs. Wishful thinking? Perhaps. But it's such a nice thought.
I enjoyed reading your poem with it's touch of mysticism and bit of magic. Nicely written.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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I believe that our loved ones do try to make contact with us after they pass, if we're just sensitive to the signs. Wishful thinking? Perhaps. But it's such a nice thought.
I enjoyed reading your poem with it's touch of mysticism and bit of magic. Nicely written.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much!
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
When my friend from Virginia died and I went back to work I got a ton of replacement plans that day. It was a surprisingly good day. I think that was her showing me she was still there. I often say that I didn't get all those replacement plans but she did. I think our loved ones are still with us even when we can't see, touch, talk, etc. They are still there and if you look around you might just see them. Great job
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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When my friend from Virginia died and I went back to work I got a ton of replacement plans that day. It was a surprisingly good day. I think that was her showing me she was still there. I often say that I didn't get all those replacement plans but she did. I think our loved ones are still with us even when we can't see, touch, talk, etc. They are still there and if you look around you might just see them. Great job
Comment Written 29-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Thank you! :)
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
this is really quite lovely and so sad. A beautiful entry into the "What If?" contest. However, I see in the third verse, line: drifted softly into into cadence (I believe you need to remove one "into") Nonetheless, great job on this wonderful poem, which flows smoothly and has strong rhyming within it. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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this is really quite lovely and so sad. A beautiful entry into the "What If?" contest. However, I see in the third verse, line: drifted softly into into cadence (I believe you need to remove one "into") Nonetheless, great job on this wonderful poem, which flows smoothly and has strong rhyming within it. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 29-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Thank you, will do right away and many thanks for close read.
Comment from Pantygynt
Mixed meter that changes as dramatically dramatically as Coleridge's Xanadu. Were you too interrupted by an anonymous caller alway through writing this?
There is a lot o musical imagery in this and it reads rather like a song lyric. It makes me think you are perhaps a musician or singer first and and a poet second. This line for example,
"My whispered note, it echoed soft, sad and flat-forlorn," is one syllable light of the heptameter in the first line that it emulates, I can actually hear the musical quaver rest between soft and sad that to the metrical poet cries out for an unstressed syllable, perhaps "so" to return it to the 14 syllable heptameter.
interesting.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Mixed meter that changes as dramatically dramatically as Coleridge's Xanadu. Were you too interrupted by an anonymous caller alway through writing this?
There is a lot o musical imagery in this and it reads rather like a song lyric. It makes me think you are perhaps a musician or singer first and and a poet second. This line for example,
"My whispered note, it echoed soft, sad and flat-forlorn," is one syllable light of the heptameter in the first line that it emulates, I can actually hear the musical quaver rest between soft and sad that to the metrical poet cries out for an unstressed syllable, perhaps "so" to return it to the 14 syllable heptameter.
interesting.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Thank you, your interest is very valuable to me. I will take a relook some time today. It is this type of constructive review that makes me glad I joined the site. Unfortunately I have used all 6 good reviewers this month, otherwise I would certainly have nominated you. Maybe next month!! :)
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Hello again! I have just made a ridiculous error and entered your Awdl Gynt poem challenge but (haha) in the tanka contest. I can kick myself, a whole afternoon's work wasted,but for your own personal amusement, my Awdl Gynt (AKA tanka!) is entitled I hardly have the means or heart and is now sitting happily in the wrong category contest. I am not sure if you can find to read on site, otherwise I can go back and cut and paste for you onto my reply if you are interested. Yours was outstanding, BTW.
Have a lovely day,
Hayley
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Oh dear. I shall find it somewhere I suppose. If you contact Tom he might move it for you.
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Thanks for the kind thought anyway.
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No problem. I wasted some of my six, on reflection! Definitely have you in mind next month!
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PS. You are right. I am a soprano!
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Thank you
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Thank you
Comment from misscookie
I read your poem with mixed emotions This is truly a deep one. I can relate to your poem You see my daughter not my son as much visits me once in a while from heaven.
My husband not as much. I welcome their visit.
Cookie
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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I read your poem with mixed emotions This is truly a deep one. I can relate to your poem You see my daughter not my son as much visits me once in a while from heaven.
My husband not as much. I welcome their visit.
Cookie
Comment Written 29-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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I am so glad for you. Pleased my poem was bought providing. Hoping not too sad!
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Until next time.
Cookie
Comment from Zue65
I enjoyed reading your poem. I like best the last lines as follows: My air will be your aria, my medley eons long, I hear the echoes, world's apart, so am never now alone, In melting into melody, I've secret--sung you home. Superb lines.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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I enjoyed reading your poem. I like best the last lines as follows: My air will be your aria, my medley eons long, I hear the echoes, world's apart, so am never now alone, In melting into melody, I've secret--sung you home. Superb lines.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Thank you very much indeed!
Comment from RoostyNester
I felt the grief in your poem. I liked the rhyme of the verses as they told their story. The words you chose for your poem, fit and completed it's meaning for the reader. I liked your poem.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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I felt the grief in your poem. I liked the rhyme of the verses as they told their story. The words you chose for your poem, fit and completed it's meaning for the reader. I liked your poem.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much. I am really, really pleased!
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Your welcome.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hymn, tune, ballad or melody... e all wanna be someone's favorite song, don't we? That go to, feel good tune to brighten up their day. Isn't human nature to want to be loved and to love in return?
When someone we love deeply dies, it rips a hole in the very fabric of "us"--the who, what and why we are. With great care and tremendous effort (and more than a little TLC), that hole can eventually be mended. Yet, like any fabric that's been ripped, the evidence that there was once a tear still remains.
Scars linger.
Grief is not always immediate.
Songs are made to be sung...
...and this is beautifully rendered free verse.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Hymn, tune, ballad or melody... e all wanna be someone's favorite song, don't we? That go to, feel good tune to brighten up their day. Isn't human nature to want to be loved and to love in return?
When someone we love deeply dies, it rips a hole in the very fabric of "us"--the who, what and why we are. With great care and tremendous effort (and more than a little TLC), that hole can eventually be mended. Yet, like any fabric that's been ripped, the evidence that there was once a tear still remains.
Scars linger.
Grief is not always immediate.
Songs are made to be sung...
...and this is beautifully rendered free verse.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Dean. I really appreciate your comments. Yes, I guess we have to forge a way to move on without forgetting.
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Yes, I believe we do.
You're more than welcome, Hayley.
Comment from lindalee1
Beautiful poem! Took me right into your sadness then back to peacefulness knowing the song will be sung. Had to look up aria but knowing the meaning makes the poem even better. Very nice flow. Would recommend for a good read.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Beautiful poem! Took me right into your sadness then back to peacefulness knowing the song will be sung. Had to look up aria but knowing the meaning makes the poem even better. Very nice flow. Would recommend for a good read.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2016
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Thank you so much. I thought had already replied, but maybe I did not save. Really pleased you enjoyed. You are very encouraging!
