Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 124 "To See Her Smile"Personal poems
22 total reviews
Comment from Dean Kuch
Your Trijan Refrain is a very lovely poem, Tom, and an equally inspirational piece of much needed encouragement for your lovely wife Karen as well, I'm sure. Here's hoping that all works out in her favor.
Well done, sir!
~Dean
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Your Trijan Refrain is a very lovely poem, Tom, and an equally inspirational piece of much needed encouragement for your lovely wife Karen as well, I'm sure. Here's hoping that all works out in her favor.
Well done, sir!
~Dean
Comment Written 29-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Thank you Dean.
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Always a pleasure, Tom.
~Dean
Comment from Pantygynt
Now this seems to be a case of form being most appropriate for the content. The refrain line works differently in S1 from the way it does in the other two stanzas. In S1 the refrain serves as repeated plea. This is pointed up by the positioning of a full sop (period) after the second refrain line.
In S2 & 3 the second refrain line commences a new statement that is concluded in the final line. I would suggest that the comma after the first refrain line be replaced by a semi colon in these two stanzas to point this up.
I have read and reread the following from your notes several times: "The first four syllables of line 5 in each stanza are repeated as the double-refrain for lines 7 and 8. I'm sorry but I still don't get it. There does not seem to be any connection between the first four syllables of line 5 or indeed of any line with the repeated refrain. Have I missed something.
Finally may I add my best wishes to Karen for a full recovery but it's going to be a hard road with all that PT. Tell her to take care on the icy surfaces.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Now this seems to be a case of form being most appropriate for the content. The refrain line works differently in S1 from the way it does in the other two stanzas. In S1 the refrain serves as repeated plea. This is pointed up by the positioning of a full sop (period) after the second refrain line.
In S2 & 3 the second refrain line commences a new statement that is concluded in the final line. I would suggest that the comma after the first refrain line be replaced by a semi colon in these two stanzas to point this up.
I have read and reread the following from your notes several times: "The first four syllables of line 5 in each stanza are repeated as the double-refrain for lines 7 and 8. I'm sorry but I still don't get it. There does not seem to be any connection between the first four syllables of line 5 or indeed of any line with the repeated refrain. Have I missed something.
Finally may I add my best wishes to Karen for a full recovery but it's going to be a hard road with all that PT. Tell her to take care on the icy surfaces.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Thank you Pantygynt. I like your perspective on the refrains. Hmm, I cut and pasted the instructions from another source, and I must admit that I overlooked that detail. So no, you didn't miss that, I did. I better add a note. I appreciate the input.
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Great. I thought old age was catching up onn me. Lol.
Comment from ProSongwriter
Hi,
I am not poet, don;t play one on TV and hardly able to recognize a poem beyond the "Jack and Jill Went Up The Hill" variety. It's a literary venue that totally escapes as both a writer and a reader. So, I cannot comment on technical merit. But, I can comment on what I read, regardless of its format.
I wish your wife well in her recovery and hope her discomfort fades as the days do. You have aptly describe your care and love for her, which is more important than anything else. My wife is significantly disabled, so I can empathize to a certain degree. Also, I was diagnosed with cancer three weeks ago. So, I'm no stranger to life's challenges.
Good for you for being strong and supportive. I enjoyed your poem and your attitude made me smile. Best to you and her. God Bless ...
Alan
PS: I realize this is not a typical review for a poem but it's the best I can do. Please forgive my lack of ability to offer a technically better review.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Hi,
I am not poet, don;t play one on TV and hardly able to recognize a poem beyond the "Jack and Jill Went Up The Hill" variety. It's a literary venue that totally escapes as both a writer and a reader. So, I cannot comment on technical merit. But, I can comment on what I read, regardless of its format.
I wish your wife well in her recovery and hope her discomfort fades as the days do. You have aptly describe your care and love for her, which is more important than anything else. My wife is significantly disabled, so I can empathize to a certain degree. Also, I was diagnosed with cancer three weeks ago. So, I'm no stranger to life's challenges.
Good for you for being strong and supportive. I enjoyed your poem and your attitude made me smile. Best to you and her. God Bless ...
Alan
PS: I realize this is not a typical review for a poem but it's the best I can do. Please forgive my lack of ability to offer a technically better review.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Thank you ProSongwriter. I really liked this review with its support and sharing. Thanks for stopping by to give your thoughts.
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My pleasure. Best to you and your wife.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A lovely poem for your wife and the gladness to see her smile instead of having pain is shining through. All good things take time, just stay patient. Everything will get better.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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A lovely poem for your wife and the gladness to see her smile instead of having pain is shining through. All good things take time, just stay patient. Everything will get better.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Thank you Sandra fir this review and words of support. Plus the stars!
Comment from Liberty Justice
Ah! A true testimonial of love and hope. The lyrical beats are true testimonials of endurance and
loyalty. I felt the pain and sacrifice his wife had to endure and I also felt his pain in his writing!
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Ah! A true testimonial of love and hope. The lyrical beats are true testimonials of endurance and
loyalty. I felt the pain and sacrifice his wife had to endure and I also felt his pain in his writing!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Thank you Liberty, you got the essence.
Comment from Pyrrho
A bit of a prayer in poem clothing and well done. I had a knee replacement years ago and the PT was worse than the operation, but worth it in the long run. I wish I had both done at the same time.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2015
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A bit of a prayer in poem clothing and well done. I had a knee replacement years ago and the PT was worse than the operation, but worth it in the long run. I wish I had both done at the same time.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2015
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Thank you Pyrrho for a great review and sharing.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi,
_ So nice to hear your wife came through surgery, and doing well also.
_ Beautiful picture of her.
_ Thanks for sharing the update.
* Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you and yours*
Cheers & Blessings...
Keep Smilin'...
Jacqueline<>Jackie<>Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2015
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Hi,
_ So nice to hear your wife came through surgery, and doing well also.
_ Beautiful picture of her.
_ Thanks for sharing the update.
* Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to you and yours*
Cheers & Blessings...
Keep Smilin'...
Jacqueline<>Jackie<>Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 28-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2015
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Thank you Ajax. Season's greetings to you too.
Comment from I am Cat
Well Tom, it's nice to see something resembling a smile on Karen's face! So good to see and hear that.
And the love is apparent in your poem. Well done,
I enjoyed this poem and all the information it gives as well.
Cat
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2015
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Well Tom, it's nice to see something resembling a smile on Karen's face! So good to see and hear that.
And the love is apparent in your poem. Well done,
I enjoyed this poem and all the information it gives as well.
Cat
Comment Written 28-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2015
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Thank you Cat. I appreciate all your support.
Comment from robyn corum
Tom,
I'm so glad to hear that OVERALL your wife is progressing nicely! I realize it won't be an easy journey, but it seems to be well worth it. Congrats!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2015
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Tom,
I'm so glad to hear that OVERALL your wife is progressing nicely! I realize it won't be an easy journey, but it seems to be well worth it. Congrats!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2015
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Thank you Robyn she seems to be on her way.
Comment from AnnieGale
This is very sweet to read about everyday suffering we see our loved ones try to overcome. My mother has Alzheimer's and it's blessing to see her smile or even remember me. I hope you do get a chance to ride bikes again very soon. All the best to you both. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2015
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This is very sweet to read about everyday suffering we see our loved ones try to overcome. My mother has Alzheimer's and it's blessing to see her smile or even remember me. I hope you do get a chance to ride bikes again very soon. All the best to you both. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 28-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2015
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Thank you AnnieGale, for the review and sharing about your mom.
