Her Path
some burdens are worse than others...21 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Desire and lust can make a person feel trapped in a situation that maybe should not happened. Regret about our sins will be forever on our minds.
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Desire and lust can make a person feel trapped in a situation that maybe should not happened. Regret about our sins will be forever on our minds.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your not revealing the nature of the violator until the final stanza. Your rhymes and rhythm in these quatrains intensifies the tale and its moral. Cheers- Joan
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I admired your not revealing the nature of the violator until the final stanza. Your rhymes and rhythm in these quatrains intensifies the tale and its moral. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
Comment from country ranch writer
she has lost her will to his lustful taste and in her haste has made waste to the life she once knew and now it belongs to her werewolf
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she has lost her will to his lustful taste and in her haste has made waste to the life she once knew and now it belongs to her werewolf
Comment Written 26-Oct-2015
Comment from His Grayness
Gripping, captivating, stirring, heated, pulsating, driving, mysterious, dark, impatient, sexy, sinful, bittersweet, dangerous, anticipatory and just plain damn honkin' good! Wish I had six stars and could catch my breath again! Thanks for the fun! HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
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Gripping, captivating, stirring, heated, pulsating, driving, mysterious, dark, impatient, sexy, sinful, bittersweet, dangerous, anticipatory and just plain damn honkin' good! Wish I had six stars and could catch my breath again! Thanks for the fun! HIS GRAYNESS: Vance
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
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Wow, how do you REALLY feel about it? LOL! What a fabulous review! Thank you very much!
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Breath has returned, trembling ceased! Heartbeat normal! Thanks for the great trip and beddy by now for the Gray One: Blessings and hugs! Dear One! Vance
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HAAAHAHA - hugs and sweet dreams. *wink*
Comment from Jay Squires
But, Dawn. He's a guy. If she hadn't faltered, and followed her lusts instead, he'd just finish, have a cigarette, then eat her.
This is a good poem, Dawn, ripe for the season.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
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But, Dawn. He's a guy. If she hadn't faltered, and followed her lusts instead, he'd just finish, have a cigarette, then eat her.
This is a good poem, Dawn, ripe for the season.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
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LOL. Probably. Tsk, tsk. I'm grinning, you rascal.
Thanks, Jay - much appreciated.
Comment from Sasha
This is really very good. I enjoyed it immensely and loved the music you picked to accompany it. This is my favorite verse:
No second thoughts! Now fear, regret
will follow her forever,
for wanton care about our sins
buys mercy for us never...
Great work with this one.
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This is really very good. I enjoyed it immensely and loved the music you picked to accompany it. This is my favorite verse:
No second thoughts! Now fear, regret
will follow her forever,
for wanton care about our sins
buys mercy for us never...
Great work with this one.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
Comment from Unspoken94
I am blushing as I write this. This is one sexy poem! It's also a very good one. The intimacy is also very scary. A very good work. bill
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I am blushing as I write this. This is one sexy poem! It's also a very good one. The intimacy is also very scary. A very good work. bill
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh my!!~! Everybody is into write for this Multi-author book. I know it's going to be a great book. Just look at the entries. I enjoyed reading your poem.
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Oh my!!~! Everybody is into write for this Multi-author book. I know it's going to be a great book. Just look at the entries. I enjoyed reading your poem.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
Comment from Domino 2
Just try not to howl too much in front of the moon after that experience, Dawn - though I'm sure you'd make a sexy silhouette. ;-)
With respect, you mix the previous 'her' with 'our' in 11th and 12th lines, and I found, as a result, the 12th line's rhyme to be slightly manipulated/forced.
Oh well, one can't beat a good 'falter', occasionally...if only! ;-)
Seriously, I REALLY enjoyed this dark and wanton write.
Best wishes, Ray xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Just try not to howl too much in front of the moon after that experience, Dawn - though I'm sure you'd make a sexy silhouette. ;-)
With respect, you mix the previous 'her' with 'our' in 11th and 12th lines, and I found, as a result, the 12th line's rhyme to be slightly manipulated/forced.
Oh well, one can't beat a good 'falter', occasionally...if only! ;-)
Seriously, I REALLY enjoyed this dark and wanton write.
Best wishes, Ray xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
Comment from BeasPeas
Excellent poem with super word choices. Presented well. Many good lines. I like it all, but particularly:
"No second thoughts! Now fear, regret
will follow her forever,
for wanton care about our sins
buys mercy for us never."
Marilyn
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Excellent poem with super word choices. Presented well. Many good lines. I like it all, but particularly:
"No second thoughts! Now fear, regret
will follow her forever,
for wanton care about our sins
buys mercy for us never."
Marilyn
Comment Written 25-Oct-2015
