I was born to.....
See the sparkle in the dew.111 total reviews
Comment from misscookie
I have no stars to give, so I give to you thanks for this uplifting poem.
You captured my attention from the first line to the least. Yes any time you write words from the Lord you should have h
his blessing like a star.
Cookie
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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I have no stars to give, so I give to you thanks for this uplifting poem.
You captured my attention from the first line to the least. Yes any time you write words from the Lord you should have h
his blessing like a star.
Cookie
Comment Written 09-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much Cookie, for this great review and these lovely comments, much appreciated, blessings, Roy.
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You're very welcome. Have Sunday.
Cookie
Comment from DALLAS01
I enjoyed this love poem and the aa bb rhyme scheme.
I especially liked the following couplet:
I was born to understand why Jesus sacrificed,
surrender all I have to Him, heart to love be spliced.
The word spliced is a great choice.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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I enjoyed this love poem and the aa bb rhyme scheme.
I especially liked the following couplet:
I was born to understand why Jesus sacrificed,
surrender all I have to Him, heart to love be spliced.
The word spliced is a great choice.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much for this great review and these lovely comments, much appreciated, blessings, Roy.
Comment from Stacia Ann
Thanks for sharing this, Roy! An arresting image! Your own, may I ask?
Really like the theme of this, the love of God, rather than a human partner, as is more typical of love poetry.
The stanzas of one couplet each work very well technically. The rhyme and meter scheme work very well overall.
Expanding on the theme, I think this has a powerful message we should all remember--that to love each other, and God, the earth itself, is not only our duty, what we are commanded to do, but also our right--we are born not only to love but be loved.
A couple of suggestions on the meter:
You probably know more about poetry than I do, but as a reader, here are a couple of places I stumbled in reading aloud, possible considerations for revision:
joy to plant a (little) seed fulfilling all your need: (does this read better without "little"?)
heart to love (be) spliced. (again, does it read better without "be")
the rain fall softly as(,) gently as God's grace. (no comma needed after "as," and it breaks the flow, visually and aurally, of the language)
Overall, very strong; just a couple of my personal responses. Thanks for sharing.
Stacia
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Thanks for sharing this, Roy! An arresting image! Your own, may I ask?
Really like the theme of this, the love of God, rather than a human partner, as is more typical of love poetry.
The stanzas of one couplet each work very well technically. The rhyme and meter scheme work very well overall.
Expanding on the theme, I think this has a powerful message we should all remember--that to love each other, and God, the earth itself, is not only our duty, what we are commanded to do, but also our right--we are born not only to love but be loved.
A couple of suggestions on the meter:
You probably know more about poetry than I do, but as a reader, here are a couple of places I stumbled in reading aloud, possible considerations for revision:
joy to plant a (little) seed fulfilling all your need: (does this read better without "little"?)
heart to love (be) spliced. (again, does it read better without "be")
the rain fall softly as(,) gently as God's grace. (no comma needed after "as," and it breaks the flow, visually and aurally, of the language)
Overall, very strong; just a couple of my personal responses. Thanks for sharing.
Stacia
Comment Written 09-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much Stacia, in answer to the suggestions of the omission of words would change the syllable count and the meter, so they stay I'm afraid, and the punctuation is important to emphasis, sorry, but thank you for taking the time and suggestions, for this great review and these lovely comments, much appreciated, blessings, Roy.
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
Fantastic, stunning, love this poem. I can feel the breeze and gentle rain. I love the artwork. It fits so well. It is always a wonderful thing to know a person knows God's love. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Fantastic, stunning, love this poem. I can feel the breeze and gentle rain. I love the artwork. It fits so well. It is always a wonderful thing to know a person knows God's love. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much for this great review and these lovely comments, much appreciated, blessings, Roy.
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Your welcome, Blessings, Darlene
Comment from Janet Foor
Wonderful rhyming couplets Roy. A profound and clear message. I liked the repeating "I was" at the beginning of each couplet. Good use of alliteration and vivid imagery in each line.
Blessings
Janeet
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Wonderful rhyming couplets Roy. A profound and clear message. I liked the repeating "I was" at the beginning of each couplet. Good use of alliteration and vivid imagery in each line.
Blessings
Janeet
Comment Written 09-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much Janet, for this great review and such lovely comments, the exception rating,
Comment from Nosha17
God created us and gave us the capacity to love-love all that is around us, whether it is our families, the birds of the air, the beasts of the field and the one who created all this, God. Good imagery and use of rhyming to convey your thoughts. Two things, verse one, the noun firelight is a singular noun and takes a singular verb form, it should read, shines. Verse 2, there should be no comma after 'as' as it is a comparative. Most enjoyable. Faye
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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God created us and gave us the capacity to love-love all that is around us, whether it is our families, the birds of the air, the beasts of the field and the one who created all this, God. Good imagery and use of rhyming to convey your thoughts. Two things, verse one, the noun firelight is a singular noun and takes a singular verb form, it should read, shines. Verse 2, there should be no comma after 'as' as it is a comparative. Most enjoyable. Faye
Comment Written 09-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much for Faye, this great review and these lovely comments, much appreciated, blessings, Roy.
Comment from Pantygynt
This poem says one thing very clearly to me in its neat form of five rhyming couplets. That one thing is that there is a great deal more to love than just romance. The Greeks had two words for it but I can only remember eros the erotic one. That pll therobably says a wrong things about me. Sorry Roy I'm a lost cause.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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This poem says one thing very clearly to me in its neat form of five rhyming couplets. That one thing is that there is a great deal more to love than just romance. The Greeks had two words for it but I can only remember eros the erotic one. That pll therobably says a wrong things about me. Sorry Roy I'm a lost cause.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much for this great review and these lovely comments, much appreciated, actually the ancient Greeks had as many as six, Agape, Eros, Philia, (storge) Ludus, Philutia, Pragma, all with compartments, the word charity has changed its original meaning, so there's only one word left. blessings, Roy.
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That's really interesting. Agape was the one I was thinking of and couldn't remember. The others I have to admit I had not heard of.
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I really don't understand why we don't have others in English, Indonesian has four meanings. Thank you.
Comment from Gunner Lil
A super poem. A very easy read and good structure.
The reader could see the images in each verse.
The poem flowed with good rhyme.
Thank you!
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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A super poem. A very easy read and good structure.
The reader could see the images in each verse.
The poem flowed with good rhyme.
Thank you!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much for this great review and these lovely comments, much appreciated, blessings, Roy.
Comment from rspoet
A beautiful poem you have written
filled with the sparkle of the dew
the feel of soft rain and gentle breeze
the sight and the understanding
that belief brings
An interesting art work you have chosen
the two dove of love and the beginning,
it compliments the poem perfectly
Excellent
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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A beautiful poem you have written
filled with the sparkle of the dew
the feel of soft rain and gentle breeze
the sight and the understanding
that belief brings
An interesting art work you have chosen
the two dove of love and the beginning,
it compliments the poem perfectly
Excellent
Comment Written 09-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2015
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Thanks so much for this great review and these lovely comments, much appreciated, blessings, Roy.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Roy: welcome back! How was your family time? Great poem and alliteration. I was born to many things but being a child of God is tops. Celebrate Christ and his creation. We were in Denver for a family trip. Saw the mountain tops and river falls. My brother was the best host and took us to the zoo. Enjoy your summer oh- winter there. flylikeaneagle congrats on your awards!
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015
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Roy: welcome back! How was your family time? Great poem and alliteration. I was born to many things but being a child of God is tops. Celebrate Christ and his creation. We were in Denver for a family trip. Saw the mountain tops and river falls. My brother was the best host and took us to the zoo. Enjoy your summer oh- winter there. flylikeaneagle congrats on your awards!
Comment Written 09-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2015
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We are heading back to Australia after being in Europe for a couple of months, winter there! But like you God has gone before us and we have enjoyed the most favoured and delightful hospitality from friends, believers and non, that I have ever enjoyed, God is a sensationally generous and expansively lavish Father, I can't help singing His praises. Thanks for the great review and delightful comments, Christ's love to you and yours Nancy, blessings, Roy.
