flip flops held in hand: 5-7-5 suite
track memories, not sand, into the house87 total reviews
Comment from henryca
This is great children poetry it is a perfect poem to describe a day on the beach. I love the words you used to describe the sand, it totally reminds me of when I went to the beach as a kid.
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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This is great children poetry it is a perfect poem to describe a day on the beach. I love the words you used to describe the sand, it totally reminds me of when I went to the beach as a kid.
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Thank you, henryca, for your kind, six star review. I am thrilled that my poem brought back memories for you. Thanks for time traveling.
Comment from HAPPIOTTER
Very very good depiction of a child's time at the beach. Carefree and totally having a blast! I remember those days! I also remember as much sand in the bed as the tub. Lol good writing! Many blessings! Happi
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Very very good depiction of a child's time at the beach. Carefree and totally having a blast! I remember those days! I also remember as much sand in the bed as the tub. Lol good writing! Many blessings! Happi
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Thank you, Happi, for your kind review. Sand sprinkled my laptop last night after I walked along the beach. I am glad my poem brought back memories.
Comment from DR DIP
yeah sweet and being a beach lover i can whole hearted relate thanks for sharing this short but descriptive little haiku poem they either work or they don't I felt this one worked!!
dip
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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yeah sweet and being a beach lover i can whole hearted relate thanks for sharing this short but descriptive little haiku poem they either work or they don't I felt this one worked!!
dip
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Thank you, Dr Dip, for your fine review. I am glad my haiku worked for you.
Comment from jaded831
Excellent poem, I love the beach, and your poem captured walking on the beach, admirably. I love the last line it added a bit of comedy to your piece. You brought it all together with the picture. Great job.
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Excellent poem, I love the beach, and your poem captured walking on the beach, admirably. I love the last line it added a bit of comedy to your piece. You brought it all together with the picture. Great job.
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Thank you for your kind review of my poem. I am glad it captured a walk along a beach for you.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day mate. I love it where you get your inspiration from...LIFE! I enjoyed this little offering of yours and think it perhaps should have been in a contest. Great visions in this one my friend. Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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G'day mate. I love it where you get your inspiration from...LIFE! I enjoyed this little offering of yours and think it perhaps should have been in a contest. Great visions in this one my friend. Cheers Fez
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Thank you, Fez, for your kind review. Sandy feet are inspiring. I searched for an applicable haiku or 5/7/5 contest but they all wanted either three lines or no rhymes. I decided to post anyhow. Cheers.
Comment from Lulube
fun collected in these 3 haiku. Love the last line, sand backs up the tub.
such an honest statement.
good penning
lulube
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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fun collected in these 3 haiku. Love the last line, sand backs up the tub.
such an honest statement.
good penning
lulube
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Thank you, Lulube, for your kind review. Yes, the last line is funny but honest.
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welcome\
lulube
Comment from MissMerri
I love the memories this haiku suite produces. What great times children have at the beach! You've captured the beauty, the fun and the mess all so wonderfully in your well-chosen words. These were fun to read.
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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I love the memories this haiku suite produces. What great times children have at the beach! You've captured the beauty, the fun and the mess all so wonderfully in your well-chosen words. These were fun to read.
Comment Written 05-May-2015
reply by the author on 05-May-2015
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Thank you, MissMerri, for your kind review. I am glad my poem captured the beauty, the fun, and the mess of children's play at the beach.
Comment from Thamp
Very nice. I measure my response by how a poem affects me. Right now I have this strong desire to remove the sand from between my toes. Thank you for writing and sharing.
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Very nice. I measure my response by how a poem affects me. Right now I have this strong desire to remove the sand from between my toes. Thank you for writing and sharing.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Yes, Thamp, same here. I just returned from my first walk on the beach in years. Although a foot shower was attached to the wall by the pool, I still have sand between my toes. I am thrilled my poem affected you. Thanks for your review.
Comment from nancyjam
I love these Haiku that give the reader
a clear image through well chosen words.
We can feel the heat of the sun and the sand
and picture the children's feet sparkling in the sun.
Delightful! Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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I love these Haiku that give the reader
a clear image through well chosen words.
We can feel the heat of the sun and the sand
and picture the children's feet sparkling in the sun.
Delightful! Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Thank you, Nancy, for your kind review. Well chosen words are the key to haiku. The moment I saw those sandy feet, my imagination and memory worked overtime to help the reader relive the moment. Thank you for your review.
Comment from I am Cat
lovely imagery!
Having grown up (mostly) on Florida's gulf coast, i know this story well... I miss it too... especially the one of coming home to my grandmother's to wash outside under the spigot, pushing each other out of the way, rushing inside to be the first to be granted a hug from her. :)
Yes, you have brought back the best of childhood memories.
I did notice on the first haiku that the first two lines happened to rhyme (which I don't think you did on purpose) however, I think it's NOT supposed to, (I'm not schooled on the haiku art enough to know whether or not it's not allowed) soo... just a thought... ??? Other than that, I certainly find no fault, and the art work is splendid!
Well done, I find no fault at all
Cat
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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lovely imagery!
Having grown up (mostly) on Florida's gulf coast, i know this story well... I miss it too... especially the one of coming home to my grandmother's to wash outside under the spigot, pushing each other out of the way, rushing inside to be the first to be granted a hug from her. :)
Yes, you have brought back the best of childhood memories.
I did notice on the first haiku that the first two lines happened to rhyme (which I don't think you did on purpose) however, I think it's NOT supposed to, (I'm not schooled on the haiku art enough to know whether or not it's not allowed) soo... just a thought... ??? Other than that, I certainly find no fault, and the art work is splendid!
Well done, I find no fault at all
Cat
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Yes, I am Cat, many reviewers like you have pointed out that haiku is not supposed to rhyme. That is how the words "hand" and "sand" aligned and I am keeping them to push the form.
I am glad my haiku brought back childhood memories for you. I just returned from my first barefoot walk along the beach in years. Now I have sand on my laptop! Thanks for your review.
