Comment from juliesibs

Excellent

Nice image that enhances the entire piece. Its a wonderful poem with great flow, it read smoothly from verse to verse. The story line is great, you are doing a really nice job with this tale.

Julie

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015

Thank you for the excellent review, Julie. I appreciate the kind comments about the writing and the flow. I am happy you enjoyed it. Debi

Comment from evesayshi

Excellent

An absolutely marvelous rendering of a genre that is so contemporary today - it bodes well for books in the making, and the rhyming is an excellent deviation from basic storytelling - congrats for the undertaking and best of luck in successfully publishing your work...

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015

Thank you for very encouraging review. Publishing isn't something I haven't considered yet. I am writing this as a gift for my neice Lily and hoping she will like it. Here's crossing my fingers that she agrees with you.

Thank you for the well wishes on publishing. A dream we all have?.

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

Lovely story in rhyme where the wizard tries to get his captives back under his hold. Excellent rhyming and interesting story line. I spotted one thing, verse 1, line 2, should be lightning. Most enjoyable. Faye

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015

Hi Faye,

Yes, Joe really would like to control them, but even a wicked wizard can't win all the time.

Thank you for catching the misspelling and pointing it out. No one else has mentioned it and I appreciate you pointing it out.

I am happy you enjoyed reading this verse. Debi

Comment from Margaret Snowdon

Excellent

Can the dragon beat the wizard?
Can he save his queen so fair?
Will the fearsome spell be broken?
Lady Lily standing there
summoned all her greatest magic.
"Fearsome Joe, you best beware!"

Are rather exciting story in a poem - something quite
unique, which is most impressive, Debi - works so well.

The only thing - with the lines below, might you consider losing the 2nd "clouds" rather than repeating so close.

Clouds of magic growled with thunder.
Lightening set those clouds aglow. i.e.
Clouds of magic growled with thunder,
LightNING setting THEM all aglow -- just a thought

Margaret

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015

Thank you for the kind comments and suggestions to help improve my work. I appreciate you taking the time to read and give such a detailed review. Debi

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

You are doing a very good job with your story in a poem. It's a great storyline, a dragon and a butterfly.I like the meter too.Good Work here WJ. Well done. Nancy

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015

Thank you for an excellent review, Nancy. I noticed the name change and it took me a moment to connect. Thank you for the encouragement. I didn't mean for this story to be so long, but it took on a life of its own. Looks like six part will do it though. Whew!
Debi

Comment from artemis53

Excellent

I love this because to me it's poetry mixed with fantasy that lends itself to a lovely combination. These pieces are the sort of writings that one can get lost in if only allowed.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015

Thank you so much for your excellent review. That you could get lost in it is about the nicest thing I've ever heard. Thank you!
Debi

Comment from Louise Michelle

Excellent

Hi Debi,

Great rhythm here - really appropriate for the battle scene.
You also did a good job choosing your rhymes. Another great installment in an epic adventure.

Hugs,
Lou

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015

Thank you, Lou. I appreciate the kind comments about the rhymes. Thank you for the encouragement. I am happy you are enjoying the adventure. Debi

Comment from kiwijenny

Exceptional

I love the dragon the evil sorcerer and the butterfly
I love a take where underdogs have to battle such battles against evil...I mean under-bug...
This would make a great picture book
Well done
God bless

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Feb-2015

What a fun review, kiwijenny. I appreciate the generous six star rating! Thank you for the encouraging comments. A picture book? If only I could draw. LOL. Debi

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

I can't remember if I read any other posts in this series or not, but I did enjoy this one. This was short enough to keep my attention and simple enough for me to understand.
Nicely done... John

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015

Well, the last time I posted was November 1, so even I'd have to go back and look to see who read them. I do appreciate you reading and reviewing this verse though. I did break the story into small parts to be read to my neice over several nights.

Thank you for the kind comments, John. I appreciate it.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi there,

This is such an epic undertaking you are attempting, and it would appear succeeding with.

Very consistent rhythm and form. Great imagery as well to accompany an engaging story.

GMG

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2015

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reply by the author on 25-Feb-2015

Thank you for the kind words of encouragement. I appreciate you mentioning the rhythm, form and story. Thank you for enjoying it and taking the time to comment. Debi