Going Down
Part 1 of 320 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
The set-up of a power outage in an elevator is great. Leave it to a man to people the elevator with a young woman all-to-eager to take her clothes off. It isn't always like that in real life! You do a nice job to the build-up of the removal of the clothes and the sexual tension involved. Of course she has a sad story of her unhappy marriage to contribute. Great line of "The heat fell over me like a wet blanket." The gal makes quite a lasting impression. Wonder how long it will be before help arrives? I don't know anything about the contest, but this looks to be a great entry, and best of luck. judi
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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The set-up of a power outage in an elevator is great. Leave it to a man to people the elevator with a young woman all-to-eager to take her clothes off. It isn't always like that in real life! You do a nice job to the build-up of the removal of the clothes and the sexual tension involved. Of course she has a sad story of her unhappy marriage to contribute. Great line of "The heat fell over me like a wet blanket." The gal makes quite a lasting impression. Wonder how long it will be before help arrives? I don't know anything about the contest, but this looks to be a great entry, and best of luck. judi
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you, Judi. It's the butterfly contest, and it a lot of fun. It ends tonight. It's a chance to let go and have a little adult fun behind the wall.
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Hi, lancellot. Will have to check the contest out when voting begins. judi
Comment from LIJ Red
emergency breaks-would that be emergency brakes?
A smoothly written fantasy pretty well anchored to possibility. I sort of doubt the disclaimer would actually list decapitation as a specific injury not covered by the hotel's liability, but that's a nice gruesome note.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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emergency breaks-would that be emergency brakes?
A smoothly written fantasy pretty well anchored to possibility. I sort of doubt the disclaimer would actually list decapitation as a specific injury not covered by the hotel's liability, but that's a nice gruesome note.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much. Yes, you are right on that.
Comment from MSJVClarke
Excellent story. Your plot was good and your story well-choreographed. You described your character well and I could envision myself in the position of both.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Excellent story. Your plot was good and your story well-choreographed. You described your character well and I could envision myself in the position of both.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you. I hope you get a chance to read the last two parts.
Comment from chasennov
"Into the abyss" I should have quit reading this fine story you have created here when I was ahead. You really did the dirt and left us hanging, lancellot. But is was a good read nevertheless. Well done.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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"Into the abyss" I should have quit reading this fine story you have created here when I was ahead. You really did the dirt and left us hanging, lancellot. But is was a good read nevertheless. Well done.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Well, I guess I had to. The second part is up and the last will up in a few. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy them all.
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You are most welcome.
Comment from pbroussard209
lol, what a dog, but I guess she is wanting it too. great story and full of sexual tension. I like how your main character slowly removes one article of clothing at a time and tries to get her to follow suit. Great story, good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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lol, what a dog, but I guess she is wanting it too. great story and full of sexual tension. I like how your main character slowly removes one article of clothing at a time and tries to get her to follow suit. Great story, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much. Yes, I wanted the three parts to be the three parts of seduction.
Comment from Laurie Clayton
Hello there,
Very well written and orchestrated piece. Nice easy storytelling, leading the reader all the way down the page and still leaving them wanting to read on.
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Hello there,
Very well written and orchestrated piece. Nice easy storytelling, leading the reader all the way down the page and still leaving them wanting to read on.
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much. I hope you get a chance to read the last two parts of the story.
Comment from Rikki66
The piece is well written and intriguing. It is so constructed that I am in anticipation to know what happens next. The titillation is just right to stir emotion without being graphic.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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The piece is well written and intriguing. It is so constructed that I am in anticipation to know what happens next. The titillation is just right to stir emotion without being graphic.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much. The 2nd part is up and the 3rd will follow today. But I warn you, it will get graphic as goes along.
Comment from Curly Girly
This was a well-written erotic chapter. I am sure it won't take long before they start bonking. No spag spotted. I like the idea of this daring story.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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This was a well-written erotic chapter. I am sure it won't take long before they start bonking. No spag spotted. I like the idea of this daring story.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much. It will take awhile depending on your definition of bonking. Part two is up now and three will follow shortly. I hope you get a chance to read them behind the wall.
Comment from Muffins
Part reads like an apple being peeled slowly, clearful. The pace I can sense is building up to a once in a lifetime unforgettable encounter.
The man is written with the dialogue and point of view if a guy who doesn't expect fantastic experiences but will jump on one when presented. His dream woman behaves as any woman alone on an stalled elevator would. You captured her body language and voice tone perfectly. I can 't wait to watch further peeling of this apple. This chapter deserves a 6 rating but I 'm sorry to say I 'm out.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Part reads like an apple being peeled slowly, clearful. The pace I can sense is building up to a once in a lifetime unforgettable encounter.
The man is written with the dialogue and point of view if a guy who doesn't expect fantastic experiences but will jump on one when presented. His dream woman behaves as any woman alone on an stalled elevator would. You captured her body language and voice tone perfectly. I can 't wait to watch further peeling of this apple. This chapter deserves a 6 rating but I 'm sorry to say I 'm out.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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The apples gets 'eaten' in part two post now and consumed in part three to be posted tonight. The 6 isn't needed. I'm just glad you enjoyed it. Thank you.
Comment from alf collier
Hi lancellot. This is the first time I have opened an 'adult rated' post. I'm not sure what I thought I would find, really, but I loved the start to your story. Drew me in to read every word! My, can't wait to see where this goes, alf
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Hi lancellot. This is the first time I have opened an 'adult rated' post. I'm not sure what I thought I would find, really, but I loved the start to your story. Drew me in to read every word! My, can't wait to see where this goes, alf
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2015
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Thank you very much
