haiku (crossing from here)
haiku 4-7-521 total reviews
Comment from mfowler
Wonderful image to support
I adore your opening lines:here
to inaccessible there...so lyrical and suggestive of places forbidden or mysterious.
The white water rapids are the natural imediment and complete the haiku image very well
Best of luck
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Wonderful image to support
I adore your opening lines:here
to inaccessible there...so lyrical and suggestive of places forbidden or mysterious.
The white water rapids are the natural imediment and complete the haiku image very well
Best of luck
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
Comment from mermaids
Your haiku form creates a clear picture and also brings forth feelings of making a journey that has challenges. White water rapids is a fitting last line, they are beautiful yet harsh as well.
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Your haiku form creates a clear picture and also brings forth feelings of making a journey that has challenges. White water rapids is a fitting last line, they are beautiful yet harsh as well.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
Comment from daeneam
One of the best inventions man made is a bridge. Just like God who sent His only begotten Son to act as our bridge to access eternal life.
I wish you well in the contest! God bless you! c", mae
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One of the best inventions man made is a bridge. Just like God who sent His only begotten Son to act as our bridge to access eternal life.
I wish you well in the contest! God bless you! c", mae
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
Comment from kateabb
I liked this. The imagery is very effective and the concept is solid. The concept of the bridge is apparent without the work bridge or the photo.
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I liked this. The imagery is very effective and the concept is solid. The concept of the bridge is apparent without the work bridge or the photo.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
HI,
What an awesome piece of artwork to complement your haiku. The silhouette and black/white presentation gives this peace the feeling of another era. Nicely penned and presented.
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
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HI,
What an awesome piece of artwork to complement your haiku. The silhouette and black/white presentation gives this peace the feeling of another era. Nicely penned and presented.
Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'.... Jax (*.*)
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
Comment from MSJVClarke
Excellent Poem. Artwork was terrific. I liked the title and your words served it well. The form was good and it appears you met all the technical requirements. Good job!
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Excellent Poem. Artwork was terrific. I liked the title and your words served it well. The form was good and it appears you met all the technical requirements. Good job!
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
Comment from kiwisteveh
Looks like your haiku might be about the LACK of a bridge!
There is some subtlety in your poem - I liked the contrast in your first two lines and the explanation of inaccessible provided by your satori line.
Good luck.
Steve
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Looks like your haiku might be about the LACK of a bridge!
There is some subtlety in your poem - I liked the contrast in your first two lines and the explanation of inaccessible provided by your satori line.
Good luck.
Steve
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
Comment from skye
crossing from here
to inaccessible there
white water rapids
The picture enhances the stark words. You captured the despair, fear, and determination in such few, excellent words.
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crossing from here
to inaccessible there
white water rapids
The picture enhances the stark words. You captured the despair, fear, and determination in such few, excellent words.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
Comment from RodG
This is a very provocative poem that, coupled with that marvelous photograph, makes you think about journeys (aka "crossings") we take in life that could be treacherous both literally and emotionally. You convey so much in only 17 syllables.
Nice use of alliteration and assonance in your satori.
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This is a very provocative poem that, coupled with that marvelous photograph, makes you think about journeys (aka "crossings") we take in life that could be treacherous both literally and emotionally. You convey so much in only 17 syllables.
Nice use of alliteration and assonance in your satori.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
Comment from mbagby23
When I read your poem and look at the picture I mind thinks I hope that bridge won't break. Because that white water rapids moves fast. Will they make it across.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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When I read your poem and look at the picture I mind thinks I hope that bridge won't break. Because that white water rapids moves fast. Will they make it across.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
