The Truth About Lies
general philosophy26 total reviews
Comment from Acquired Taste
Truer words would be hard to find and an excellent piece of prose. I remember growing up my father hammered into us that people will remember your words, good or bad - let your yes be yes and your no be no. There is no in between.
Truth may not be popular, but you also don't have to remember what you said to someone. Liars must keep a record of what they say to each person.
I, too, am offended if someone feels I've not been truthful. Granted there are times when a comment is best left unsaid, but when needed, truth is the only thing you can offer.
Those that may try to hurt us with that characterization know the truth in their hearts - it does burden them whether they admit it or not. AT=/
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Truer words would be hard to find and an excellent piece of prose. I remember growing up my father hammered into us that people will remember your words, good or bad - let your yes be yes and your no be no. There is no in between.
Truth may not be popular, but you also don't have to remember what you said to someone. Liars must keep a record of what they say to each person.
I, too, am offended if someone feels I've not been truthful. Granted there are times when a comment is best left unsaid, but when needed, truth is the only thing you can offer.
Those that may try to hurt us with that characterization know the truth in their hearts - it does burden them whether they admit it or not. AT=/
Comment Written 25-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2014
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Thanks so much for the great feedback. I always appreciate earing personal views.
Comment from Drew Delaney
That is cause for applaud, Spiritual Echo. I wish I could write my thoughts like you have expressed here. I am proud you are not a liar, and whoever is calling you one, is barking up the wrong tree. I hope its not me. LOL
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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That is cause for applaud, Spiritual Echo. I wish I could write my thoughts like you have expressed here. I am proud you are not a liar, and whoever is calling you one, is barking up the wrong tree. I hope its not me. LOL
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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No, sadly it was a family member. One that totally knows my distaste for lies, which leads me to believe that he meant to hurt me.
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I get annoyed often by family. They often hurt me, not with lies, but thinking and saying I should be doing something or other. I am 68 years of age. I think it's time I do what I like. Too bad if the house isn't as clean as they would like, or food isn't ready and set on the table. I've been there and done that. Don't allow this to get the better of you. I hope you can straighten this out without a battle. We just never know what tomorrow holds. Best wishes with this problem.
Comment from drivenbackward
You revealed yourself in this one, se. You kept me engaged the whole way.
but people who value truth, rarely are respected. -- 'but people who value truth are rarely respected'
Liars can be written off, in fact often draped with excuses. -- Delete 'in fact'
Most people recognize miscommunication, and will acknowledge the crossed signals, but those that cling to a blinded emotion, be it love or hate, don't listen. -- Delete first comma.
They absolutely hate or love the person trying to talk and filter every word through that screen of emotional deception. -- Very true.
If we find ourselves stuck behind a firewall, often the only way to get our meaning across is by writing it down. -- Even more true!
jewellery -- Check spelling.
get twice as much for my money buying wholesale, somehow translated into a lesser effort or value to some recipients. -- Delete comma.
I've found that people prefer lies to truth. Liars can often achieve a higher level of communication satisfaction and approval simply because they tell people what they want to hear. -- Another great truth. Also why women often fall for the wrong man.
I suppose everyone needs to decide that question for themselves. -- Decide the question or the answer?
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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You revealed yourself in this one, se. You kept me engaged the whole way.
but people who value truth, rarely are respected. -- 'but people who value truth are rarely respected'
Liars can be written off, in fact often draped with excuses. -- Delete 'in fact'
Most people recognize miscommunication, and will acknowledge the crossed signals, but those that cling to a blinded emotion, be it love or hate, don't listen. -- Delete first comma.
They absolutely hate or love the person trying to talk and filter every word through that screen of emotional deception. -- Very true.
If we find ourselves stuck behind a firewall, often the only way to get our meaning across is by writing it down. -- Even more true!
jewellery -- Check spelling.
get twice as much for my money buying wholesale, somehow translated into a lesser effort or value to some recipients. -- Delete comma.
I've found that people prefer lies to truth. Liars can often achieve a higher level of communication satisfaction and approval simply because they tell people what they want to hear. -- Another great truth. Also why women often fall for the wrong man.
I suppose everyone needs to decide that question for themselves. -- Decide the question or the answer?
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Great points, all of them. I thank you for the time and have made, I think, all the changes. As an aside, I live in Canada and use UK spelling. Jewellery is correct in Canada and is spelled jewelry in the US. You'll also notice a lot of extra 'U' s in our spelling....colour/color, neighbourhood/neighborhood, humour/humor.
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Ok. Got it. I didn't realize you were using UK spelling. Sorry about that. Dan
Comment from livelylinda
Spiritual Echo: I agree totally with everything you said and that is the truth. I quite clearly remember, at age 11, deciding that I would always tell the truth because if I lied, the consequences would not be pretty. I was raised by grandparents and in a church. All of these influences made me one of the few truth tellers I've ever met. I figure if a person feels they must lie, it is because they have done something wrong. A few times I have been called a liar by someone who didn't really know me. I was shocked and appalled by this and hurt very deeply. I especially hate it when the liars are believed and I am not. You have written well and maybe, just maybe, you will nudge a liar into a bit more honesty. livelylinda
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Spiritual Echo: I agree totally with everything you said and that is the truth. I quite clearly remember, at age 11, deciding that I would always tell the truth because if I lied, the consequences would not be pretty. I was raised by grandparents and in a church. All of these influences made me one of the few truth tellers I've ever met. I figure if a person feels they must lie, it is because they have done something wrong. A few times I have been called a liar by someone who didn't really know me. I was shocked and appalled by this and hurt very deeply. I especially hate it when the liars are believed and I am not. You have written well and maybe, just maybe, you will nudge a liar into a bit more honesty. livelylinda
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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It's either meaningful to a person or not. It's pretty big in my core values. I accept that people lie, and often believe what they're saying, but when the accusation comes from someone you trust or value, it's painful.
Comment from Sasha
As I read this I found myself sliding back into my childhood. For some reason, I always got into trouble telling the truth. Truth was something no one wanted to hear and I just couldn't grasp that concept and continued to tell the truth that no on wanted to hear. I was called a liar and trouble maker and the title remained with me my entire life. Like you, calling me a liar is the most offensive and hurtful thing you or anyone can do. Call me a bitch, call me annoying, call me anything, but never call me a liar. You really hit a nerve with this one. Your writing is always spot on and you truly are a wordsmith. Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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As I read this I found myself sliding back into my childhood. For some reason, I always got into trouble telling the truth. Truth was something no one wanted to hear and I just couldn't grasp that concept and continued to tell the truth that no on wanted to hear. I was called a liar and trouble maker and the title remained with me my entire life. Like you, calling me a liar is the most offensive and hurtful thing you or anyone can do. Call me a bitch, call me annoying, call me anything, but never call me a liar. You really hit a nerve with this one. Your writing is always spot on and you truly are a wordsmith. Thanks so much for sharing this with us.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Well, it's pretty obvious, at least to you, that this essay was birthed in exactly that place, of calling me a liar. Thanks for the stars. Yeah, I know exactly how you feel, as you understand how deeply this affected me.
Comment from Chrisfiore
Hi SE,
Interesting philosophy. I think that what you said here is fairly accurate in the social standpoint of today's thinking. Most folks would much rather have their ego stroked as to hear they are on the wrong side of a point.
Personally, I would rather be known for the truth, however painful that might be, especially to me. My family, (the stepchildren) often ask me questions about how things were in "my day" and while I try not to glorify the escapades of my youth, I do strive to be honest. I feel if I am truthful about my past, however exposed I may feel, when it comes time to weigh any advice, character flaw or activity, they know I am being honest with them, as I try to be with my spouse, co-workers and employer.
I think people sense that about a person. Integrity to oneself is a dying commitment. ;) Chrisfiore
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Hi SE,
Interesting philosophy. I think that what you said here is fairly accurate in the social standpoint of today's thinking. Most folks would much rather have their ego stroked as to hear they are on the wrong side of a point.
Personally, I would rather be known for the truth, however painful that might be, especially to me. My family, (the stepchildren) often ask me questions about how things were in "my day" and while I try not to glorify the escapades of my youth, I do strive to be honest. I feel if I am truthful about my past, however exposed I may feel, when it comes time to weigh any advice, character flaw or activity, they know I am being honest with them, as I try to be with my spouse, co-workers and employer.
I think people sense that about a person. Integrity to oneself is a dying commitment. ;) Chrisfiore
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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I'm afraid it is a dying value, perhaps gift-wrapped with the other great phenomenon--political correctness.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow - this is fabulous. I agree with everything you've written, and as always, it's clear, concise and impactful. I began this review in my mind (as I usually do) as I read, and was planning to mention the second paragraph as my favorite - and then - BLAM - you blew me out of the water. It just got better and better...
Flawless, as usual...:)
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Wow - this is fabulous. I agree with everything you've written, and as always, it's clear, concise and impactful. I began this review in my mind (as I usually do) as I read, and was planning to mention the second paragraph as my favorite - and then - BLAM - you blew me out of the water. It just got better and better...
Flawless, as usual...:)
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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You are very kind. Thanks for the words and the stars.
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Not at all - it resonates with me deeply, and it's so well written! In fact, I'm planning to shelve it so I can read it again. :)
Comment from Donya Quijote
Truth, opinion, buttholes, everyone's got one or some version of it. I personally like the truth even when it hurts. I'll get over the hurt in time, but I don't like to be deceived. I find that hard to forgive, especially when it is deliberate. Truth and trust go hand in hand with me. If you lie, and do so deliberately, and I find out, it means you can't be trusted, not ever. Good write. good insight, thought provoking.
Found a few nits for your consideration:
miscommunication, and --drop the comma here, you have a compound verbal phrase
to talk, and filter ----drop the comma here, a compound verbal phrase with an infinitive
was a well-published -- the a, indefinite article is not necessary here
on, once -- don't believe a comma is necessary here, might want to check it out. Doesn't sound right, but sometimes Canadian English and American English are different in punctuation necessities and preferences
borrowing into the ones --drop the preposition into as it does not go with borrowing, burrowing yes, prepositions are used differently in different dialects so check it out. One of the hardest thing to learn and master when studying a foreign language is those pesky prepositions.
'the responsibility to communicate lies with the speaker.' --I think you need double quotes here, check the rules.
Let me know if you agree or not with any of these potential corrections. I learn from the discussion.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Truth, opinion, buttholes, everyone's got one or some version of it. I personally like the truth even when it hurts. I'll get over the hurt in time, but I don't like to be deceived. I find that hard to forgive, especially when it is deliberate. Truth and trust go hand in hand with me. If you lie, and do so deliberately, and I find out, it means you can't be trusted, not ever. Good write. good insight, thought provoking.
Found a few nits for your consideration:
miscommunication, and --drop the comma here, you have a compound verbal phrase
to talk, and filter ----drop the comma here, a compound verbal phrase with an infinitive
was a well-published -- the a, indefinite article is not necessary here
on, once -- don't believe a comma is necessary here, might want to check it out. Doesn't sound right, but sometimes Canadian English and American English are different in punctuation necessities and preferences
borrowing into the ones --drop the preposition into as it does not go with borrowing, burrowing yes, prepositions are used differently in different dialects so check it out. One of the hardest thing to learn and master when studying a foreign language is those pesky prepositions.
'the responsibility to communicate lies with the speaker.' --I think you need double quotes here, check the rules.
Let me know if you agree or not with any of these potential corrections. I learn from the discussion.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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I changed some of your suggestions as when I took a second look I agreed with your comments. The comma after miscommunication i left, for reasons that I truly can't explain by using formal edit language and grammar flaws. Lets just say it looks right the way it is to me. always a pleasure to have someone spend the time with my work and offer suggestions. Thanks.
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Glad I could help just a tiny bit. I read enough to know that there are differences between Canadian usage and American usage, just like there are between the Americans and the Brits and the Aussies. I also know enough to know that I don't know nearly enough.
I was thinking that some of the issues regarding punctuation maybe that this essay of yours is very strongly voice. It is almost as if the reader is present at the creation of the thought and is able to watch develop to its conclusion. It like stream of consciousness, though I'm not sure of the definition. Anyway, I can hear you saying it as if you and I are having a conversation. Thought you might like to know.
I'm not around much, more so now that school has begun again and I am busy with lesson plans and grading, designing activities for my students to do to facilitate the learning process. Always enjoy reading your work. This one was a pleasure, but then it's always a pleasure to read your work.
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I do indeed appreciate such detailed and personal feedback. It ignites the words and gives more oxygen to a thought or feeling that can be shared across many miles.
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:)
Comment from Cumbrianlass
So, if the next thing I say is the truth, but the last thing I said was a lie, would you believe me? LOL! To be a good liar, you have to have a good memory, and I can't remember who said that.
An honest write, as I would expect from you, Ingrid. I agree that some people prefer lies, but they're doing themselves a disservice in the long run, I think.
Well done.
Av
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reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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So, if the next thing I say is the truth, but the last thing I said was a lie, would you believe me? LOL! To be a good liar, you have to have a good memory, and I can't remember who said that.
An honest write, as I would expect from you, Ingrid. I agree that some people prefer lies, but they're doing themselves a disservice in the long run, I think.
Well done.
Av
x
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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I appreciate the words of support and the stars.
Comment from GWHARGIS
Great sentiment. I am an artist, and you would be amazed at the people who think because I paint something for them, I got off cheap. Little do they know I spend hours working on their 'cheap' gift and often spend many hours alone doing so. When I published The 'Shine Baby, every body wanted a free copy, like they were doing me a favor to accept it. I made no exceptions. Everybody paid unless I gave birth to them. Your essay was spot on. Gretchen
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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Great sentiment. I am an artist, and you would be amazed at the people who think because I paint something for them, I got off cheap. Little do they know I spend hours working on their 'cheap' gift and often spend many hours alone doing so. When I published The 'Shine Baby, every body wanted a free copy, like they were doing me a favor to accept it. I made no exceptions. Everybody paid unless I gave birth to them. Your essay was spot on. Gretchen
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2014
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You understand perfectly. Thanks for telling me your story.
