I Played My Song
a wrapped refrain173 total reviews
Comment from kiwisteveh
Thought I'd reviewed this one already, but obviously missed it.
Once again you display your knack for finding something from the everyday that can so easily be imbued with deeper meaning. I know 'playing a song' is not a new metaphor for the way one lives one's life, but it is very apt here.
The second 'path' metaphor also works well and the two combine together to form a lovely love song.
I wonder if you want to fix the small difference in the first stanza refrain before this gets to the booth - play --> played perhaps...
Steve
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014
  |
Thought I'd reviewed this one already, but obviously missed it.
Once again you display your knack for finding something from the everyday that can so easily be imbued with deeper meaning. I know 'playing a song' is not a new metaphor for the way one lives one's life, but it is very apt here.
The second 'path' metaphor also works well and the two combine together to form a lovely love song.
I wonder if you want to fix the small difference in the first stanza refrain before this gets to the booth - play --> played perhaps...
Steve
Comment Written 17-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2014
-
Thanks so much, Steve. Nope, the ever-so-slight modification is deliberate. Brooke :-)
Comment from Jewell McChesney
I played my song, but no one heard
until you sang it word for word,
as if the very breath you drew
was drawn to sing what I hold true.
Dang woman! You blow me away!
An absolutely beautiful write.
Good luck with the contest. I see a great contender!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
|
I played my song, but no one heard
until you sang it word for word,
as if the very breath you drew
was drawn to sing what I hold true.
Dang woman! You blow me away!
An absolutely beautiful write.
Good luck with the contest. I see a great contender!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
-
Jewell, thank you so much for your encouraging review and kind contest comments :-) Brooke
Comment from Alan K Pease
This is not just a song of a child, but one also one for lovers who measure their heartbeats in tune with your own words. Great poem Brooke.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
 |
This is not just a song of a child, but one also one for lovers who measure their heartbeats in tune with your own words. Great poem Brooke.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2014
-
Alan, thank you so very much for your generous response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Cumbrianlass
It's like a song of destiny, Brooke. Two souls fates to meet. I found it inspirational and very moving. The second stanza is my favourite. It raises the heartbeat!
Love the photo of Sawyer, too, of course. A little rocker dude! :)
Very enjoyable.
Av
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
|
It's like a song of destiny, Brooke. Two souls fates to meet. I found it inspirational and very moving. The second stanza is my favourite. It raises the heartbeat!
Love the photo of Sawyer, too, of course. A little rocker dude! :)
Very enjoyable.
Av
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
-
Thanks so much, Av :-) You should hear him sing along to the chorus of Tom Petty's Free Fallin' He gets so enthused when he hears that song begin to play :-) Brooke
-
LOL! He has good taste. Love Tom Petty.
My son, John, used to rock to Eye of the Tiger. His face would light up whenever that song came on the radio.
-
Sawyer loves Eye of the Tiger, though those words are about all he sings. He sings along with Nora, who is five. She sings most of the song and then signals him when it's time to sing his part. LOL
-
I have, in the past week, become utterly and completely smitten with my grandchild. I didn't know how I'd react, to be honest. I mean, I was excited about the baby, of course, but I wasn't sure how I'd 'bond', if that makes sense.
It's incredible, Brooke. Amaia has completely stolen my heart - knocked me right off my feet! I can totally understand how Sawyer inspires your poetry.
It's a different sensation to having your own child, but the emotion and the love is just as strong.
She is precious beyond words. :)
-
I'm so happy for you. I had that fear before Miranda was born. I was so totally smitten with her big brother that I feared I couldn't possibly love her with the same intensity I loved Eric. I stayed awake worrying about it, feeling guilty in advance. LOL Needless to say, my fears disappeared the second I saw her :-)
Comment from Raphael Montonaro
Unusal love poem and I like it! good form and an easy read. I also like the pic which brings you down to the poem.....Good job so keep writing!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
|
Unusal love poem and I like it! good form and an easy read. I also like the pic which brings you down to the poem.....Good job so keep writing!
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
-
thanks so much, Raphael :-) Brooke
Comment from Joan E.
Ah ha--he's fascinated by music too--good boy! I admired your wrapped refrain and your rhymes as well as your "path" metaphor. Best wishes in the contest and enjoy the rest of the weekend, as I struggle to put my kitchen back together after having our cabinets remodeled... Hugs- Joan
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
|
Ah ha--he's fascinated by music too--good boy! I admired your wrapped refrain and your rhymes as well as your "path" metaphor. Best wishes in the contest and enjoy the rest of the weekend, as I struggle to put my kitchen back together after having our cabinets remodeled... Hugs- Joan
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
-
He loves music, Joan. Singing more than anything else. He does full-blown renditions of many children's songs and selected portions of rock music like Tom Petty's Free Fallin. The other night they were all out to dinner when he broke into a complete chorus of Achey Breaky Heart. LOL All they can figure is that this is a song his nanny plays for him. :-) Thanks so much for reviewing. Brooke
-
I'm glad he has a natural, singing talent--he'll always be able to amuse himself! Here's to a musical nanny too!! Cheers- Joan
Comment from Dawn Munro
Oh my goodness, I am singing this, honestly, and I must say, this one is one I have to keep just to study the way you have used this form - it is perfection, in every way.
Masterful, as always, Brooke!!!
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
|
Oh my goodness, I am singing this, honestly, and I must say, this one is one I have to keep just to study the way you have used this form - it is perfection, in every way.
Masterful, as always, Brooke!!!
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
-
Thank you so very much, Dawn :-) Brooke
Comment from me_tudor
This was another great poem Brooke. It's a great love poem. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. And Sawyer is getting so big. I enjoy getting to see him grow.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
|
This was another great poem Brooke. It's a great love poem. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. And Sawyer is getting so big. I enjoy getting to see him grow.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
-
Thank you, me_tudor, for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
How lovely is this - you never disappoint, Brooke.
The words flowing smoothly throughout.
just popped in to say hello - now busy editing Manderston
(Novel) which will take an age.
take care.
margaret
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
|
How lovely is this - you never disappoint, Brooke.
The words flowing smoothly throughout.
just popped in to say hello - now busy editing Manderston
(Novel) which will take an age.
take care.
margaret
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
-
Margaret, thank you so much, my friend :-) Your pretty sixth star is much appreciated :-) Brooke
Comment from seaglass
This is a tribute to the one special person in life that validates all your are about. I feel great sympathy for those who have not been fortunate to have met someone who fills this place. Poem is beautifully rhymed.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
|
This is a tribute to the one special person in life that validates all your are about. I feel great sympathy for those who have not been fortunate to have met someone who fills this place. Poem is beautifully rhymed.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2014
-
seaglass, thank you so much :-) Brooke
