Sexual Re-awakening
a little soft porn17 total reviews
Comment from GeraldS
This was nicely written. Your approach is a bit more subtle than some of the other entries, but I think that is its real strength. My guess is that this entry will be difficult to beat. I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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This was nicely written. Your approach is a bit more subtle than some of the other entries, but I think that is its real strength. My guess is that this entry will be difficult to beat. I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Thank you for both the kind words and all the stars. I actually had a few comments from regular readers that it was too racy for them, but it is what it is and erotica is meant to be titillating. Thanks.
Comment from DALLAS01
Pretty obvious that this wasn't penned by a virgin or a prude. In my own dysfunctional marriage, there were definitely some sexual issues that would never be resolved within that marriage, but not going to get into that. You wrote this with not only a knowledge of sexual arousal, but with an understanding of the gravity of just how important the sexual union is in a marriage. Even if it is good in all other areas, eventually that too will crumble if the lovemaking disintegrates.
I found it interesting that each seemed to be stimulated by two different senses.. he perhaps visually and she by the auditory sounds on the porn film.
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Pretty obvious that this wasn't penned by a virgin or a prude. In my own dysfunctional marriage, there were definitely some sexual issues that would never be resolved within that marriage, but not going to get into that. You wrote this with not only a knowledge of sexual arousal, but with an understanding of the gravity of just how important the sexual union is in a marriage. Even if it is good in all other areas, eventually that too will crumble if the lovemaking disintegrates.
I found it interesting that each seemed to be stimulated by two different senses.. he perhaps visually and she by the auditory sounds on the porn film.
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Did you know--completely off topic--there is a hearing test, at least in Can, called CAP, that actually measures the ability of a person to absorb spoken information. They can actually tell how well a kid learns by listening, how background noise interferes in the hearing process.
what I learn as a grandma that rarely writes erotica!
As a 15 year born-again-virgin, I truly think I should get a standing ovation just for remembering this stuff.
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No I didn't know, that is interesting. I glanced at a few of your other reviews and I think you are correct. Many will not know how to respond. Perhaps the flavor of a review will reveal something too personal about the reader. I can understand that concept.
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Funny though, given my lack of a sex life and still no shame, how easy it was to write erotica if a prompt calls for sensuality, but how hard it might be to write a western--or so I think. Maybe I should give that a shot.
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Why not? There isn't that much unchartered territory left.
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Well done. Was this an easy write? It's certainly a gutsy one. There you go again, tackling any subject with vigour and skill.
I admire that you held nothing back, and it reads so well. Very sensual read - you kept it above sexual with the human emotion.
A few wee things - easy fixes.
menage-a-trios - trois
Face book, - Facebook
cum - in this context, it's 'come'. 'Cum' is ejaculate.
Av
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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Well done. Was this an easy write? It's certainly a gutsy one. There you go again, tackling any subject with vigour and skill.
I admire that you held nothing back, and it reads so well. Very sensual read - you kept it above sexual with the human emotion.
A few wee things - easy fixes.
menage-a-trios - trois
Face book, - Facebook
cum - in this context, it's 'come'. 'Cum' is ejaculate.
Av
Comment Written 04-May-2014
reply by the author on 04-May-2014
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When it comes to translating anything to paper, it doesn't seem to take any guts for me. I don't think it's possible to reach readers with a polished up version, a whitewash, but in real life--HAH!
It was an invite by the contest organizer. Raining, boredom, procrastination all factored into my writing this, but it hasn't gone over well. Either that or the very high ratio of readers versus reviewers is hiding people too afraid to attach a review to a piece of erotica.
Your dazzling review put me on front page. We'll see if a Sunday reader can handle this.
Maybe I should write a western?? Haven't done that before either. Hope you've settled in and rested after the trip. Thanks for all the stars.
Comment from Jay Squires
Our marriage is solid. [shouldn't this entire paragraph be in the past tense?]
Still, we never fall asleep without a goodnight kiss or a cuddle.[You are definitely speaking of your relationship's history, so you should keep it in the past tense.]
"Excuse me. You're blocking the aisle." [Hahaha! Love that line. It says so much about where your emotions were.]
I reached down and wrapped my hand around his manhood, [I was going to remind you ... but Wayne beat me to it, LOL]
Deborah is right. I do have a beautiful body,[This is acceptible present tense, but should be italicized, as introspection.]
watching rogue foam slide down my legs.[Good image.]
This was a great chapter! You did a marvelous job getting very specific in the details of your imagery as you approached the chapter's climax. (I've discovered there's not much I can say without sounding like a voyeur lech!) Seriously, though you followed all the dictates of effective writing, even with the few lapses into the present tense -- which you might find reason to defend.
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Our marriage is solid. [shouldn't this entire paragraph be in the past tense?]
Still, we never fall asleep without a goodnight kiss or a cuddle.[You are definitely speaking of your relationship's history, so you should keep it in the past tense.]
"Excuse me. You're blocking the aisle." [Hahaha! Love that line. It says so much about where your emotions were.]
I reached down and wrapped my hand around his manhood, [I was going to remind you ... but Wayne beat me to it, LOL]
Deborah is right. I do have a beautiful body,[This is acceptible present tense, but should be italicized, as introspection.]
watching rogue foam slide down my legs.[Good image.]
This was a great chapter! You did a marvelous job getting very specific in the details of your imagery as you approached the chapter's climax. (I've discovered there's not much I can say without sounding like a voyeur lech!) Seriously, though you followed all the dictates of effective writing, even with the few lapses into the present tense -- which you might find reason to defend.
Comment Written 03-May-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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I'm so glad you touched on my tense change. I struggled with it for only one reason, the marriage is on-going and the cuddles come each night. I bow to your wisdom as I went back and forth on this one.
Thanks for the catches and feedback. I helped clarify and I've made the changes as they reflected my own uncertainty.
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No, I figured the reason for the present tense is that it is ongoing. But, when everything else is past tense, it sticks out like a sore thumb.
Comment from Andrewajgblue
This was a great story about sensuality, I liked how they found their spark again, it was a well written story with great likeable characters, and I liked the no swear word rule it made much more real, great writing
Andrew
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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This was a great story about sensuality, I liked how they found their spark again, it was a well written story with great likeable characters, and I liked the no swear word rule it made much more real, great writing
Andrew
Comment Written 03-May-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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I responded to the prompt with the thought that I'd like to write something sexy without the dirty factor. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from reconciled
thank you....I mean that...for writing honest....and so damn well....you're very smart.....what you whispered in his ear....he will think about forever...with a great big smile.....I'm not going to ask if you just made this up....but I think and hope not.....I want to believe in orgasmic endings...-wink-....that they made love last. Exceptional...always......love you Michael
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reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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thank you....I mean that...for writing honest....and so damn well....you're very smart.....what you whispered in his ear....he will think about forever...with a great big smile.....I'm not going to ask if you just made this up....but I think and hope not.....I want to believe in orgasmic endings...-wink-....that they made love last. Exceptional...always......love you Michael
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-May-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Very few writers can translate to paper and artificial character or event without a shred of truth at its core.
Glad you enjoyed my dalliance with soft porn.
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well not as much as Wayne...but it was semi-satisfying...haha
Comment from GWHARGIS
Not what I was expecting, but I gotta say this...you certainly got my attention. Great way to weave a story about the duldrums in suburbia turning around like it did. I felt a small kinship with the woman, Jaime. I think every couple goes through the motions at some point in their marriage. Great story.
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reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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Not what I was expecting, but I gotta say this...you certainly got my attention. Great way to weave a story about the duldrums in suburbia turning around like it did. I felt a small kinship with the woman, Jaime. I think every couple goes through the motions at some point in their marriage. Great story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-May-2014
reply by the author on 03-May-2014
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I was invited to enter a contest about sensuality that would not allow foul language, but needed both physical, sensual and emotional elements. It just came out this way. Thanks.
