Cobwebs in My Attic
Flash Fiction 500 words21 total reviews
Comment from Spiritual Echo
This was excellent. You added creativity, dialogue and yet still managed to give the reader a kick in the ass.
Well done and a perfect entry for this contest.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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This was excellent. You added creativity, dialogue and yet still managed to give the reader a kick in the ass.
Well done and a perfect entry for this contest.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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So pleased you enjoyed the story and my message to the reader. Thank you for sharing.
Comment from Prezze
An interesting and adorable piece.
What a great idea for the topic called 'Cobwebs'!
Energetic and Boosting !
Great work with an obvious connection !
It is alike for all age-groups who need to clear the cobwebs of their mind to progress and keep living fully.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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An interesting and adorable piece.
What a great idea for the topic called 'Cobwebs'!
Energetic and Boosting !
Great work with an obvious connection !
It is alike for all age-groups who need to clear the cobwebs of their mind to progress and keep living fully.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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I am delighted you liked the story and caught my message easily. Thank you for sharing.
Comment from maggieadams
Way to weave "cobwebs" into this heartfelt story about a subject/fear we baby boomers all have. I don't fear cancer, but the fear of losing my faculties plagues me on a regular basis. I feel like the husband, always checking out myself and the thinking power of my brain. Great job on this prompt.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Way to weave "cobwebs" into this heartfelt story about a subject/fear we baby boomers all have. I don't fear cancer, but the fear of losing my faculties plagues me on a regular basis. I feel like the husband, always checking out myself and the thinking power of my brain. Great job on this prompt.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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I have the same fears, maggie, of losing the potency of my brain. I am delighted you enjoyed the story.
Comment from mfowler
This is a good story for the competition. The central message is sound for people who are ageing. I wouldn't mind having a dollar for the number of times I've heard people say what Allen does about being forgetful It's not dementia; it's brain lazy. They all need to take up writing and contribute to FS?? I enjoyed how you set up the story and how you used dialogue to give the scenario a really natural feel.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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This is a good story for the competition. The central message is sound for people who are ageing. I wouldn't mind having a dollar for the number of times I've heard people say what Allen does about being forgetful It's not dementia; it's brain lazy. They all need to take up writing and contribute to FS?? I enjoyed how you set up the story and how you used dialogue to give the scenario a really natural feel.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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I am delighted you enjoyed the story and its message. Thanks for sharing.
Comment from w.j.debi
A humorous look at forgetfulness. With all the attention on dementia in the past few years it can make one worry if you're having a bad day or something worse is happening when those small lapses in memory occur. The wife in the story has a colder full perspective--keep the mind active.
Excellent character development, especially with the effective use of dialog.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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A humorous look at forgetfulness. With all the attention on dementia in the past few years it can make one worry if you're having a bad day or something worse is happening when those small lapses in memory occur. The wife in the story has a colder full perspective--keep the mind active.
Excellent character development, especially with the effective use of dialog.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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I am delighted you liked the story and its people and caught my message easily. Thank you for sharing.
Comment from country ranch writer
IT IS GOOD TO CLEAN THOSE STUFFY COBWEBS OUT OF THE MUSES ATTIC AND GET NEW THOUGHTS AND TO DO NEW THINGS TO KEEP YOUR MIND ACTIVE AND MAKE THAT LAZY MUSE WORK FOR HIE KEEP UP THERE IN YOUR MIND.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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IT IS GOOD TO CLEAN THOSE STUFFY COBWEBS OUT OF THE MUSES ATTIC AND GET NEW THOUGHTS AND TO DO NEW THINGS TO KEEP YOUR MIND ACTIVE AND MAKE THAT LAZY MUSE WORK FOR HIE KEEP UP THERE IN YOUR MIND.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Indeed we must use it or lose it. So pleased you shared my poem.
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ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi...
~ Cute little story... I like how you put the twist on the story with cobwebs from the picture, yet a different theme...
~ Cobwebs in the head, I well I can relate with my fibromyaligia...!
~ Good luck in the contest...
Keep Smilin'... Jax
Well done...
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Hi...
~ Cute little story... I like how you put the twist on the story with cobwebs from the picture, yet a different theme...
~ Cobwebs in the head, I well I can relate with my fibromyaligia...!
~ Good luck in the contest...
Keep Smilin'... Jax
Well done...
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thank you, Jax, for your kind praise and well wishes. I am especially pleased you could relate to my protagonist.
Comment from akulkumol
Beautiful writing, the conversation that lead to the ending with the sentence
"So get some new hobbies. Clear those cobwebs! Activate your brain like your mother did." was lovely and well thought of, loved reading. My best wishes for the contest and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Beautiful writing, the conversation that lead to the ending with the sentence
"So get some new hobbies. Clear those cobwebs! Activate your brain like your mother did." was lovely and well thought of, loved reading. My best wishes for the contest and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thank you! I really appreciate your kind words and best wishes.
Comment from RayofLight7
I really love this little story! It speaks to my heart -- I am dealing with elderly parents, one with dementia, the other severe Alzheimer's.
Only one detraction, a typo. You have a semicolon instead of an apostrophe in "it's not yet noon..."
I love the description of his wife's eyes. I get the feeling this is a man who pays attention, and I relate to how hard he is being on himself.
Overall, a lovely little story! You made me care about these people, while delivering a helpful message.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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I really love this little story! It speaks to my heart -- I am dealing with elderly parents, one with dementia, the other severe Alzheimer's.
Only one detraction, a typo. You have a semicolon instead of an apostrophe in "it's not yet noon..."
I love the description of his wife's eyes. I get the feeling this is a man who pays attention, and I relate to how hard he is being on himself.
Overall, a lovely little story! You made me care about these people, while delivering a helpful message.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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I am very pleased that this story "spoke to you" and you found my message helpful and informative. Thank you for sharing and for the tip on the typo.
Comment from yarnteller
Wonderful story of two very believable characters making small talk on the kitchen table. Smooth writing style and dialogue made it an easy read. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Wonderful story of two very believable characters making small talk on the kitchen table. Smooth writing style and dialogue made it an easy read. Nicely done.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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I am delighted you found my characters believable and the story an easy read. Thank you for sharing.
