Addiction
When the drug is craved by every fiber of your body28 total reviews
Comment from Petriesan
before I get to the poem itself, good luck in the contest
Interesting thoughts. But are not "craving" and "desiring" the same thing?
I think some punctuation, if permitted ( I do not know the answer to this) would make it more effective. . .
If you make any changes, let me know, I do not like doing the four thing. . .
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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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before I get to the poem itself, good luck in the contest
Interesting thoughts. But are not "craving" and "desiring" the same thing?
I think some punctuation, if permitted ( I do not know the answer to this) would make it more effective. . .
If you make any changes, let me know, I do not like doing the four thing. . .
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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Thank you for your review, comments and the rating. I did write this poem in Haiku style which typically does not use punctuation. While similar, I believe these words are used differently, craving is a strong desire and desiring is a wish for something. A few good thoughts from you to make me double check. RJ
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the question I had was - should craving modify desire?
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Thank you. It is all to interpretation in some ways. I did make a couple word changes.
Comment from elchupakabra
I thought this was a strong piece. Addiction is something that affects every person, whether they realize it or not. We all have our own little addictions, whether it's coffee in the morning, a glass of wine at night, or even power reviewing on Fanstory lol. I also wrote a poem titled Addiction, if ever you want to check it out it's in my collection of poems and short stories titled The Other Pen Dragon.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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I thought this was a strong piece. Addiction is something that affects every person, whether they realize it or not. We all have our own little addictions, whether it's coffee in the morning, a glass of wine at night, or even power reviewing on Fanstory lol. I also wrote a poem titled Addiction, if ever you want to check it out it's in my collection of poems and short stories titled The Other Pen Dragon.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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Thank you for your review and comments. It is so true about addictions of any kind. I will read your poem. RJ
Comment from kiwijenny
Demon....yes indeed......soul lost by craving power
Absolute power.......how awful..........how absolutely awful......
This sadly is a reality.....poor lost souls
God bless
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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Demon....yes indeed......soul lost by craving power
Absolute power.......how awful..........how absolutely awful......
This sadly is a reality.....poor lost souls
God bless
Comment Written 18-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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Thank you for your review and comments. RJ
Comment from Smoothiecool
great picture to portray the raging fire in ones body
you entered a 5-7-5 contest good luck
you have all the components for this the three lines
the first and third have the correct five syllable count
the second has the required seven syllable count
your few words allows the reader to see and feel the image portrayed in the power of drug control
flows easy read
cheers SC
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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great picture to portray the raging fire in ones body
you entered a 5-7-5 contest good luck
you have all the components for this the three lines
the first and third have the correct five syllable count
the second has the required seven syllable count
your few words allows the reader to see and feel the image portrayed in the power of drug control
flows easy read
cheers SC
Comment Written 18-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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Thank you for your review and comments. RJ
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welcome
Comment from NUPURR
good thoughtful poem with a lesson each one should learn.............say no to drugs,...........good luch and god bless
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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good thoughtful poem with a lesson each one should learn.............say no to drugs,...........good luch and god bless
Comment Written 18-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2013
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Thank you for your review and comments. RJ
Comment from Spitfire
A powerful message in very few words. A craving desire is the quickest way to fall into the clutches of a demon. Just look at the politicians. LOL Good alliteration with control and craving. Assonance with soul and control.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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A powerful message in very few words. A craving desire is the quickest way to fall into the clutches of a demon. Just look at the politicians. LOL Good alliteration with control and craving. Assonance with soul and control.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Thank you for your review and comments. RJ
Comment from Pullmanspb
As a recovering addict, I have given up trying to help non-addicts get a sense of craving. Your posting is a nice depiction, while having to work within the confines of the 5-7-5 format.
Steven
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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As a recovering addict, I have given up trying to help non-addicts get a sense of craving. Your posting is a nice depiction, while having to work within the confines of the 5-7-5 format.
Steven
Comment Written 17-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Thank you for your review and comments. I am beginning to understand addiction as I am watching my friend fight his now. RJ
Comment from L.A.Matthies
Great work on this 5-7-5 ...the strong essence of raging addiction comes through loud and clear! Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Great work on this 5-7-5 ...the strong essence of raging addiction comes through loud and clear! Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 17-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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THank you for your review and comments. RJ
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Perfect 5//5 for the contest. You have the correct syllable count and send out a good message - not always an easy achievement with so few words. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Perfect 5//5 for the contest. You have the correct syllable count and send out a good message - not always an easy achievement with so few words. Good luck in the contest. Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 17-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Thank you for review and comments. RJ
Comment from goompa
:YOur five-seven-five is very thought provoking. I have two very close relatives who were both cocaine and alcohol addicts. Now, both have been sober for more than twenty years. Clearly, the demon doesn't always win.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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:YOur five-seven-five is very thought provoking. I have two very close relatives who were both cocaine and alcohol addicts. Now, both have been sober for more than twenty years. Clearly, the demon doesn't always win.
Comment Written 17-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Thank you for your review and words and reminder that the demon doesn't always win. RJ
