You be the Judge: Vulgar or Not?
I thought senior citizens had heard it all.36 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
my old man, whose leg is thumping - add comma
a novel can be climatic too - should be climactic
Viagra can paralyze a man's heat - heart
I just love the narrator and her attitude - the line about toting a whopper for five hours has me crying I'm laughing so hard
This is extremely amusing - I would give you a sixth star if I had one :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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my old man, whose leg is thumping - add comma
a novel can be climatic too - should be climactic
Viagra can paralyze a man's heat - heart
I just love the narrator and her attitude - the line about toting a whopper for five hours has me crying I'm laughing so hard
This is extremely amusing - I would give you a sixth star if I had one :-) Brooke
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Thanks for catching the spags, Brooke. And the thought of a sixer-wow.
I used the word "heat" instead of "heart" which could mean death. Heat as in hot sex. :-)
Comment from sibhus
Honesty, I would say that it's suggestive in a sly tongue-in cheek sort of way that provides for a lot of chuckles. I'm sure thzt there are a lot of women that can relate to this little story, but vulgar, no I don't think so. Kind of like the joke about the difference between kinky and perverted: kinky is sticking a feather up your ass, perverted is sticking the whole chicken up your ass. Good stuff there, Spitfire.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Honesty, I would say that it's suggestive in a sly tongue-in cheek sort of way that provides for a lot of chuckles. I'm sure thzt there are a lot of women that can relate to this little story, but vulgar, no I don't think so. Kind of like the joke about the difference between kinky and perverted: kinky is sticking a feather up your ass, perverted is sticking the whole chicken up your ass. Good stuff there, Spitfire.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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LOL. Thanks, husky, for defining the difference between kinky and perverted. Sly tongue-in-cheek is good way to put it.
Comment from goompa
Vulgar? No way. INstead a very well-written piece that made me laugh out loud several times. It's too bad that in some people sense of humor fades with age. Keep it up.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Vulgar? No way. INstead a very well-written piece that made me laugh out loud several times. It's too bad that in some people sense of humor fades with age. Keep it up.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Thanks, goompa. That's a hoot of a handle. You definitely have humor. :-)
Comment from humpwhistle
I see nothing vulgar here. Just good adult humor. Of course, I'm not familiar with the context--that is the publication in which this appeared. Still, all you did was submit, correct? If people have a gripe, it ought to be with the gatekeepers at the publication. Let them justifiy their decision.
Shari,I get the feeling you're upping your game in terms of colorful language, figures of speech, and vernacular. In the story, you drift in and out of dialect. I'm guessing it's intended for emphasis, but I'm not sure you were able to establish that clearly. Just a thought.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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I see nothing vulgar here. Just good adult humor. Of course, I'm not familiar with the context--that is the publication in which this appeared. Still, all you did was submit, correct? If people have a gripe, it ought to be with the gatekeepers at the publication. Let them justifiy their decision.
Shari,I get the feeling you're upping your game in terms of colorful language, figures of speech, and vernacular. In the story, you drift in and out of dialect. I'm guessing it's intended for emphasis, but I'm not sure you were able to establish that clearly. Just a thought.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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I wrote this three years ago, Lee. Never tried to get it published although my erudite sister thought it should be. Thanks for the heads up about dialogue. You're the master of that. I just posted it as I originally wrote.
Comment from boxergirl
EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!
HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!
This really was a great piece. This is one of those pieces that you reread again and again because it's just too damn funny. It is also one of those pieces you want your friends to read so they can laugh as hard as you did when you read it. Can you tell I liked it? BG 8-)
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!
AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!
HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!
This really was a great piece. This is one of those pieces that you reread again and again because it's just too damn funny. It is also one of those pieces you want your friends to read so they can laugh as hard as you did when you read it. Can you tell I liked it? BG 8-)
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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I get the message!!!! Thanks, oodles BG for the covetd six.
Hugs,
Shari
Comment from Halfree
WW
Well written, funny, risky....vulgar...All that's in the eye of the beholder. I got some chuckles. I don't have a lot more to say. I struggled with a four or five..Read three times. Liked it three times. Tell your friend...Get a life.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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WW
Well written, funny, risky....vulgar...All that's in the eye of the beholder. I got some chuckles. I don't have a lot more to say. I struggled with a four or five..Read three times. Liked it three times. Tell your friend...Get a life.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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I'll deliver the message, Halfree. Thanks for reading three times. L0L
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi Shari,
This is a very humorous post and as you sited, satire non-fiction. There is nothing offensive, crude or alarming in any of this story. It's funny! The poor sap who felt offended obviously has no sense of humour. Your play with words shines through as it does in your poetry. This is talent!
I have one suggestion; discretely leave a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey in every members mailbox. Wrap in in pretty paper and turn down the pages with the steamy parts. This will surly get their tongues wagging if nothing else! LOL
Bye
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Hi Shari,
This is a very humorous post and as you sited, satire non-fiction. There is nothing offensive, crude or alarming in any of this story. It's funny! The poor sap who felt offended obviously has no sense of humour. Your play with words shines through as it does in your poetry. This is talent!
I have one suggestion; discretely leave a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey in every members mailbox. Wrap in in pretty paper and turn down the pages with the steamy parts. This will surly get their tongues wagging if nothing else! LOL
Bye
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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I love it. If I found out how many objected, I may just xeroxed a naughty page and mail it anonymously.
Still burning,
Shari
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Much ado about nothing. A classic example of people not having enough to do in retirement, so they fixate on trivia. Just stirring the pot for lack of anything else to do. Funny little story, though!
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Much ado about nothing. A classic example of people not having enough to do in retirement, so they fixate on trivia. Just stirring the pot for lack of anything else to do. Funny little story, though!
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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That happens a lot around her. Seniors reliving their bullying days. Sigh...
Comment from Louise Michelle
This is so realistic and extremely funny throughout. I couldn't possibly pick out a favorite line or paragraph because the humor and wit jump off the page from start to finish. Now, you didn't really expect me to side with that fool, did you? LOL! Great entertainment, Shari. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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This is so realistic and extremely funny throughout. I couldn't possibly pick out a favorite line or paragraph because the humor and wit jump off the page from start to finish. Now, you didn't really expect me to side with that fool, did you? LOL! Great entertainment, Shari. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Yummy! Another six. Way better than sex. Speaking of which I have to go to the library tomorrow and hopefully find another page turner.
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LOLOLOL - I needed this laugh. One day if I get bold enough I'll write a poem on those do it yourself devices. Not a bad idea - I'll jot that down.
Comment from kenni
Must have been a FanStory reviewer: the content was unfamiliar and they didn't understand it--say, where's that metaphor? I'm not sure of how you formatted this into a verse, but its a great little prose read, factual and does metaphor; it metaphors like a one eyed monster. kenni
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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Must have been a FanStory reviewer: the content was unfamiliar and they didn't understand it--say, where's that metaphor? I'm not sure of how you formatted this into a verse, but its a great little prose read, factual and does metaphor; it metaphors like a one eyed monster. kenni
Comment Written 21-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013
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It definitely looks better as a prose piece even with the internal rhyme. FS reviewer castrated. Good one.
