Commentary and Philosophy
Viewing comments for Chapter 96 "Their Spirits Dance"My thoughts about t
16 total reviews
Comment from FrannyG
This is the first pantoum sonnet I have read and I'm impressed. I write sonnets but find pantoums mind-boggling and have yet to master one. Well done on this piece.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
  |
This is the first pantoum sonnet I have read and I'm impressed. I write sonnets but find pantoums mind-boggling and have yet to master one. Well done on this piece.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
-
Thank you Franny. Give one a try. Its actually easier. Just take the rhyme scheme and list it down the left column of a page. Write the first two lines, that's A1 and B1. Then go write A1 as the last line of the poem. Write B1 on the other line it goes of. Now, for every tine you write, you get two for one. Fill on the rest. I think you'll be pleased with the results. Have fun!
Comment from phoenix13447
Gosh, where to begin. A delightful portrait of a time gone by and a wonderful lesson to a humble poet such as I about the technicalities of this craft. Thank you for sharing this.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
|
Gosh, where to begin. A delightful portrait of a time gone by and a wonderful lesson to a humble poet such as I about the technicalities of this craft. Thank you for sharing this.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2013
-
Thank you Phoenix.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
Once again excellent work on a difficult form. This poem has excellent rhythem caused mostly by the repetition. It has excellent figurative language and is a remembrance of our native American brothers.
Preston
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013
|
Hi, Treischel,
Once again excellent work on a difficult form. This poem has excellent rhythem caused mostly by the repetition. It has excellent figurative language and is a remembrance of our native American brothers.
Preston
Comment Written 17-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013
-
Thank you Preston. Are you warming to poetry with repetition?
Comment from Joan E.
Many thanks for your detailed notes about the fountain and the combined form. Your rhymes, repeats and rhythm are quite effective in transporting us to the place and its history. The echoing sounds and accompanying photograph reinforce your subject well. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013
 |
Many thanks for your detailed notes about the fountain and the combined form. Your rhymes, repeats and rhythm are quite effective in transporting us to the place and its history. The echoing sounds and accompanying photograph reinforce your subject well. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 17-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013
-
Thank you so very much Joan, I a pleased that you liked it enough to give it a 6.
Comment from Gungalo
Wonderful Tom and beautifully worded. The pantoum sonnet is not hard to do and really gives the reader a treat. Your use of iambic tetrameter is is fine. Imagine, if you will, this:
On sacred pond bronzed warriors play,
These ghosts of long past native lads.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013
|
Wonderful Tom and beautifully worded. The pantoum sonnet is not hard to do and really gives the reader a treat. Your use of iambic tetrameter is is fine. Imagine, if you will, this:
On sacred pond bronzed warriors play,
These ghosts of long past native lads.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013
-
Thank you Gungalo. I enjoyed writing it. A wonderful format.
-
Smiling at you.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Beautifully done, Mr. 'T'. I really liked this format, it's very compelling.
It is a shame how badly the Native American Indians were betrayed by the white settlers. It's more than a shame, it's a dark, greasy spot on our nation's history and heritage.
Again, nicely done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013
|
Beautifully done, Mr. 'T'. I really liked this format, it's very compelling.
It is a shame how badly the Native American Indians were betrayed by the white settlers. It's more than a shame, it's a dark, greasy spot on our nation's history and heritage.
Again, nicely done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2013
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2013
-
Thank you Dean. I feel the same way.