Comment from JW

Excellent

This is a well written chapter and it does a great job of progressing your story line.

One thing though that you may want to review:
"He lives nearby, but he ain't no boy. Virge is almost ninety years old. You can see the corner of his cabin from the front porch. It's not even a half mile away. He helps my grandma and grandpa out around the farm. You can meet him today. He was going to come by and take me fishing. Would you like to go?"

Smiling, she said, "I'd love to go.

Here the word go was repeated - close to each other. Perhaps the second "go" isn't really needed. JW

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013

Hi Jonathan - thanks for reading and your comment. You're right about the second "go". It doesn't change anything to just drop it. Regards, Bill

Comment from djsaxon

Excellent

Totall entertaining write with great naturlistic dialogue. The flow is excellent. and never once feels contrived. well deserved ranking. Cheers - DJ

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013

Thank you DJ. First for reading and then for your kind feedback. I appreciate both.

Comment from vapros

Excellent

Five stars today for an entertaining Chapter 10, starring Rabbit and his friends. In this piece we have updates, news, fun and a moral or two. Well done.

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013

Thanks for reading and your kind words. I'll post the next chapter soon. Regards, Bill

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

I think every rural boy got introduced to green persimmons and stings. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a good read.

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2013

Thanks Charlie - always glad when you come by.

reply by c_lucas on 27-Mar-2013

You're welcome, Bill. Charlie

Comment from N.K. Wagner

Excellent

Another great installment, Bill. Rabbit's learned to laugh in company - but at someone else rather than himself. He'll get there.

One minor typo : a small nest at the corner of the window." omit "

Well done. :) nancy

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2013

Thanks Nancy - I appreciate your ongoing support for this novel. Bill

Comment from Mrs Jones

Excellent

I have tasted persimmon but I'll be darned if I can remember where or when. Love your story and your voice. So uncomplicated to read and the characters are so real.
Great writing once more.
Cheers
Rose

 Comment Written 26-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2013

Thanks for reading and the kind comments. I appreciate both. Bill

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

Nice lessons in this one for Rabbit. Don't close your eyes and open your mouth and when friends laugh together there's no room for anger.
I'm anxious to see what Rabbit thinks of his little sister.

It's nice to meet you again[,] Miss Erin."

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2013

Thanks for reading and for the spot. I appreciate both. Bill

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

nice to meet you again, Miss Erin - add comma for direct address
I just love Virge's homespun philosophy and object lessons
I read the stories about Rabbit and Virge and the other folks they meet along the way and I just smile and smile :-)
Great dialogue and character development, as always :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2013

Thanks for reading and the spot. If I could bring one smile for every ten you bring my way, I'd feel good. Warm regards, Bill

Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER

Excellent

I collected arrowheads when I was a boy. Virge reminds me of my Uncle Phil.So the piece is nostalgic and brings back similar memories of hornets on the rampage etc. An easy style that fits perfectly the mood and the dialogue so common in families that know their place and are comfortable in their own skins. Grandma is well portrayed.

Regards:

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 26-Mar-2013

Thanks Stephen - there have been several people who have responded in a similar fashion. Way before video games, i-pods and computers, there truly were lots of things to do. Bill

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

You are doing such a great job with this novel. This post is a great addition, from the new sister, to Erin, and to the lesson on friends laughing together. GREAT!!!

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2013

Thanks Barbara! Kind words from a writer I admire is always special! Bill