Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Chapter 3, Part 3"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
84 total reviews
Comment from RaymondJohn
Good, folksy and believable chapter. I like the authentic dialog and the sense of character. I can seen the relationship with the first two chapters, so you're dong a good job with the story. Ray.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2012
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Good, folksy and believable chapter. I like the authentic dialog and the sense of character. I can seen the relationship with the first two chapters, so you're dong a good job with the story. Ray.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Janie King
The kids started to school on the 20th here...I've already figured out where these first two posts get into the picture. Good chapter. God bless.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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The kids started to school on the 20th here...I've already figured out where these first two posts get into the picture. Good chapter. God bless.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Scornwell
I thought this was well written. The characters are realistic and engaging and the dialog flows well and sounds natural for the characters. I didn't notice any mistakes or typos.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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I thought this was well written. The characters are realistic and engaging and the dialog flows well and sounds natural for the characters. I didn't notice any mistakes or typos.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Anthony Crosbie
Hi. This was an enjoyable read. You've got the beginnings of an interesting story here. I love the dialog, it flowed well and kept my attention easily. Archie
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Hi. This was an enjoyable read. You've got the beginnings of an interesting story here. I love the dialog, it flowed well and kept my attention easily. Archie
Comment Written 22-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from hari anand
Savannah loveChapter three .......I liked it like the earlier ones....when conversation between the characters is real and interesting. ...it binds the reader .....
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Savannah loveChapter three .......I liked it like the earlier ones....when conversation between the characters is real and interesting. ...it binds the reader .....
Comment Written 22-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Another enjoyable chapter. You must have done quite a bit of research to write this. I hope school doesn't wear you out too much. I always look forward to your chapters!!! Debbie
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Another enjoyable chapter. You must have done quite a bit of research to write this. I hope school doesn't wear you out too much. I always look forward to your chapters!!! Debbie
Comment Written 22-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Penworthy
The trio of characters are an interesting but common mix. Cash's character is well formed, but Paige is much too sophisticated and sure of herself to come off so stilted in her speech or attempt to sound Southern. Yet she is open to Cash for some strange reason. The duplicity doesn't work as well as it should-- although I haven't read your previous chapters.
... off the water are beautiful." She rubbed her arms. "It would be a beautiful painting. (Replace second "beautiful" with another adjective. Her words, as a sophisticate, would be well phrased and better chosen.)
"Believe me. Yours should be worn as underclothes too." (Nice commentary, very telling.)
we'll have dinner with Mom, and then go fishing?" (You've used "fishing" several times in previous sentences. How about: "and then go catch some fish.)
"Can we get closer?" (Why would anyone ask this?)
"Yes, I might find out something about my ghost. Do you think it could be a pirate?" (Doesn't sound fascinated or intrigued enough with the possibility.)
Paige stood at the door and watched Cash drive away. His Southern charm can sure warm a girl's heart. The last thing I need in my life is another man. (Is this her thinking?-- put in italics. Ground us better in what's happening here with a tag or something. Her thought is obvious, but it is not well explained.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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The trio of characters are an interesting but common mix. Cash's character is well formed, but Paige is much too sophisticated and sure of herself to come off so stilted in her speech or attempt to sound Southern. Yet she is open to Cash for some strange reason. The duplicity doesn't work as well as it should-- although I haven't read your previous chapters.
... off the water are beautiful." She rubbed her arms. "It would be a beautiful painting. (Replace second "beautiful" with another adjective. Her words, as a sophisticate, would be well phrased and better chosen.)
"Believe me. Yours should be worn as underclothes too." (Nice commentary, very telling.)
we'll have dinner with Mom, and then go fishing?" (You've used "fishing" several times in previous sentences. How about: "and then go catch some fish.)
"Can we get closer?" (Why would anyone ask this?)
"Yes, I might find out something about my ghost. Do you think it could be a pirate?" (Doesn't sound fascinated or intrigued enough with the possibility.)
Paige stood at the door and watched Cash drive away. His Southern charm can sure warm a girl's heart. The last thing I need in my life is another man. (Is this her thinking?-- put in italics. Ground us better in what's happening here with a tag or something. Her thought is obvious, but it is not well explained.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Paige's thoughts in the last line are in italics. Thank you for the review.
Comment from MizKat
Barbara - This is another great chapter of your book. I enjoyed the read very much. You are such a great writer and you never make mistakes. Kat
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Barbara - This is another great chapter of your book. I enjoyed the read very much. You are such a great writer and you never make mistakes. Kat
Comment Written 22-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from ScarletClearwater
EW a romantic night out with a beautiful backdrop. Great job with this piece. The part where he takes off his shirt is hot. Love it!
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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EW a romantic night out with a beautiful backdrop. Great job with this piece. The part where he takes off his shirt is hot. Love it!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from rtobaygo
GREAT DIALOGUE, VERY CASUAL BUT SUCCINCT. INTERACTION BETWEEN THE PROTAGONIST IS WELL-SCRIPTED. THE ADDITION OF THE POSSIBILITY TAHT TUNNELS OR A TUNNEL EXIST UNDER PAIGE'S HOME ADDS INTRIGUES AND YOUR THOUGHTS STATING PAIGE DOESN'T NEED ANOTHER MAN IN HER LIFE ADDS TO THE SEXUAL TENSION THAT IS SLOWLY BUILDING BETWEEN THE PROTAGONIST. WELL DONE.
TAKE CARE,
RAY
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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GREAT DIALOGUE, VERY CASUAL BUT SUCCINCT. INTERACTION BETWEEN THE PROTAGONIST IS WELL-SCRIPTED. THE ADDITION OF THE POSSIBILITY TAHT TUNNELS OR A TUNNEL EXIST UNDER PAIGE'S HOME ADDS INTRIGUES AND YOUR THOUGHTS STATING PAIGE DOESN'T NEED ANOTHER MAN IN HER LIFE ADDS TO THE SEXUAL TENSION THAT IS SLOWLY BUILDING BETWEEN THE PROTAGONIST. WELL DONE.
TAKE CARE,
RAY
Comment Written 22-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2012
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THANK YOU FOR THE KIND REVIEW AND YOUR SUPPORT.
