Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Interlude: What Came Before"An extended story in poem form
19 total reviews
Comment from patmedium
Talk about a moebius strip?
"flash back to the past of the future"
Now you have really got me chuckling!
I am still enjoying... and this picture is stunning! Pat.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
  |
Talk about a moebius strip?
"flash back to the past of the future"
Now you have really got me chuckling!
I am still enjoying... and this picture is stunning! Pat.
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
-
lol, glad you noticed my tongue-in-cheek author's notes, Pat. Time to get to work on part 2 now, although I've had very little chance to write this last week or so :-(
Mike
-
xxxxx
Comment from Oatmeal
Fleedleflump,
This was a nice addition to your tale. The theme was well chosen. The rhyming was very well done. The arrangement is understandable and effective.
I saw no SPAG and no typos. It was very clean.
I am looking forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
|
Fleedleflump,
This was a nice addition to your tale. The theme was well chosen. The rhyming was very well done. The arrangement is understandable and effective.
I saw no SPAG and no typos. It was very clean.
I am looking forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
-
Thank you, Oatmeal. I really appreciate it :-)
Mike
Comment from Peter@Poole
I had to read this poem to satisfy my curiosity. There's some neat rhyming here, but I'm lost with regard to the story. I guess I should have started at the beginning. Thank you, Peter
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
|
I had to read this poem to satisfy my curiosity. There's some neat rhyming here, but I'm lost with regard to the story. I guess I should have started at the beginning. Thank you, Peter
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
-
lol, no probs, Peter. That's the downside of writing a series like this; readers who haven;t been following it end up lost. I'm grateful you took the time to read through and comments regardless of this impediment.
Mike
Comment from chita
I really felt this mans pain and struggle thru life somehow he wrote this work with such passion and love was there. This poem speaks to me about the world today and I know that so many people will adapt to this poets writings. He has a wonderful movement with his words and you not only a poem but a story--beautifully written.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
|
I really felt this mans pain and struggle thru life somehow he wrote this work with such passion and love was there. This poem speaks to me about the world today and I know that so many people will adapt to this poets writings. He has a wonderful movement with his words and you not only a poem but a story--beautifully written.
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
-
Thank you, CHita. WHat a wonderful review :-). I'm so glad you enjoyed the read and took the time to leave me your thoughts.
Mike
-
Thank you Fleedleflump for your compliment and I loved your poem. Keep the good work up!
-
It was a pleasure to read your poem and I enjoyed every minute of it--keep the good work up!
Comment from bhogg
I didn't read the authors notes until after. As I read through, I was thinking that this was somewhat of an introduction. I've enjoyed following your story. I know that its poetry which I really like, but to me its just a great read!
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
|
I didn't read the authors notes until after. As I read through, I was thinking that this was somewhat of an introduction. I've enjoyed following your story. I know that its poetry which I really like, but to me its just a great read!
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
-
Thank you, Bhogg; glad you enjoyed this little flashback :-)
Mike
Comment from rama devi
Hey Mike---awersome backstory poem for your series. Graceful flow and cadence due to fie metrical machinations make this sound eloquent, which is an ironic tone for the intense and graphic content described so artistically.
This is superb, but I still have a nit to note-
Mutations soaked the air, that night,
and drowned the world in dark; (darkness?)
I know you need it to be dark to match mark, but since normally it would be darkness---the mind gets a tiny little blip on this line---just a hint of forced rhyme...
these two stanzas are most outstanding--
The reaper was a scientist,
apocalypse foretold
by meddling with such fragile cloth;
the fabric of the world.
He rode a steed of good intent
upon a path of hope,
but paved inferno's flaming road;
the final misanthrope.
A couple of places where I think a semi colon might be more pat than a comma---for example:
I knew I was a man, those days,
a person on the Earth,(;)
my name forgotten out of need,
my past a blank since birth.
Nonetheless, this is brilliant and deserves five stars.
Wamrly, rd
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
|
Hey Mike---awersome backstory poem for your series. Graceful flow and cadence due to fie metrical machinations make this sound eloquent, which is an ironic tone for the intense and graphic content described so artistically.
This is superb, but I still have a nit to note-
Mutations soaked the air, that night,
and drowned the world in dark; (darkness?)
I know you need it to be dark to match mark, but since normally it would be darkness---the mind gets a tiny little blip on this line---just a hint of forced rhyme...
these two stanzas are most outstanding--
The reaper was a scientist,
apocalypse foretold
by meddling with such fragile cloth;
the fabric of the world.
He rode a steed of good intent
upon a path of hope,
but paved inferno's flaming road;
the final misanthrope.
A couple of places where I think a semi colon might be more pat than a comma---for example:
I knew I was a man, those days,
a person on the Earth,(;)
my name forgotten out of need,
my past a blank since birth.
Nonetheless, this is brilliant and deserves five stars.
Wamrly, rd
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
-
Thank you, RD :-). I'll have a scan through for semi colon possibilities. As for the dark/ness, I see what you're saying. May need some fiddling! Thanks for the great suggestions and the lovely review :-)
Mike
Comment from SHAYLENES
WOW !!! NOW THAT IS AMAZING as I can feel the depth of that as some may not . But it is so very true it seems to have a similarity to describe the deception of truth for greed how I relate it to an explination of the uncurable disease that man kind has been lead to believe what will be to there benefit when in reality they created these disease and convince us to believe there is no hope as they hide the cure . such as AUTISM . AND I think this is the best poem I have ever read with depth beyond expression I am going to say this deserves an award and I am now your fan!!!
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
|
WOW !!! NOW THAT IS AMAZING as I can feel the depth of that as some may not . But it is so very true it seems to have a similarity to describe the deception of truth for greed how I relate it to an explination of the uncurable disease that man kind has been lead to believe what will be to there benefit when in reality they created these disease and convince us to believe there is no hope as they hide the cure . such as AUTISM . AND I think this is the best poem I have ever read with depth beyond expression I am going to say this deserves an award and I am now your fan!!!
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
-
Thank you, Shay. What an amazing review! I'm so glad you were able to get so much from my poetry.
Mike
Comment from harleyangelbrat
This is a very expressive and descriptive poem. It has a very nice flow. It is another great chapter in your story poem. I enjoyed reading this very much. Excellent read, God bless you!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
|
This is a very expressive and descriptive poem. It has a very nice flow. It is another great chapter in your story poem. I enjoyed reading this very much. Excellent read, God bless you!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
-
Thank you, HAB :-). It was time to fill in a little of the backstory, I felt. Glad you enjoyed!
Mike
-
You are very welcome. I hope you have a blessed week. Marilyn
Comment from cuddlybear
Very strange, but a portent of what we might expect if we ruin any more of the earth. It has a dark brooding feeling that comes across excellently.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
|
Very strange, but a portent of what we might expect if we ruin any more of the earth. It has a dark brooding feeling that comes across excellently.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 09-May-2010
-
Thank you, Cuddly :-)
Mike
