Time Portal
A journey back in time to an event.33 total reviews
Comment from Tellis
A very good story and I really liked it a lot. This story is well written and I have found no spags. Keep up the good work.
Tellis
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2009
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A very good story and I really liked it a lot. This story is well written and I have found no spags. Keep up the good work.
Tellis
Comment Written 14-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2009
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I am so happy you enjoyed my story! Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from The Rivaling Mimic
Hello there
I liked the brevity of this write. I find that most refreshing and you keep me interested through a wonderful theme. I have noticed no room for improvement.
The Rivaling Mimic
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Hello there
I liked the brevity of this write. I find that most refreshing and you keep me interested through a wonderful theme. I have noticed no room for improvement.
The Rivaling Mimic
Comment Written 13-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your kind review. I'm happy you enjoyed it.
Comment from Cabrini
Anyone who did not grasp and embrace your message from the first line is not a believer.
Wonderfully written. I needed a lift today - thanks for the reminder.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Anyone who did not grasp and embrace your message from the first line is not a believer.
Wonderfully written. I needed a lift today - thanks for the reminder.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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You are very welcome Cabrini. I am glad the piece brought you a much needed lift. I wrote this specifically for the unbeliever, but I am glad it lifted you to the cleft in the Rock. Thank you for your kind comments and the great review.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a very nice religious piece. It is an ingenious way of propagating the gospel of Jesus Christ. I like the straight-to the point approach you adopted. kudos
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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This is a very nice religious piece. It is an ingenious way of propagating the gospel of Jesus Christ. I like the straight-to the point approach you adopted. kudos
Comment Written 13-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your great review. I am happy to know you recognized what my intentions were. If Jesus is anything, He is straight to the point in His Truth! Again, thanks.
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Pleasant piece of writing. Very emotive and full of vivid ideas. I do not share your faith, but disregarding the difference of belief, nice job.
All the best.
Kat
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
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Pleasant piece of writing. Very emotive and full of vivid ideas. I do not share your faith, but disregarding the difference of belief, nice job.
All the best.
Kat
Comment Written 12-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your kind review. God Bless
Comment from yachtworknz
Centlewind-I'm torn between four and five stars, but went for five cause I'm being kind.
So, the writing is good, but the message is cleshay (sp?), drap and old hat. You can't expect to write with the same o same o that has been done a hundred times before and expect to grab the audiance.
Now, you have a great title but you missed the answers to the age old questions here. Why did your god die so you can live? Can you explain that in a short story? If so you'll have something. This is just the same old reworn story we have all already heard.
God loved me so much he gave his son... Ya, ya, ya. If you belive in that then fine, but your preaching to the quire. The rest of the world will shrug off the story and leave it sitting on the counter.
Now, you come up with a plausable reason for the statement and you'll have a following. That is what Matrix did and it went global. Not just for the battery human thing, but why giving your body saved the world.
By the way do you see that part of the plot in the Matrix? It was there for sure.
So that is my review. Hope it helps.
Yep, good writing style if I missed saying that.
Cheers
Scott
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
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Centlewind-I'm torn between four and five stars, but went for five cause I'm being kind.
So, the writing is good, but the message is cleshay (sp?), drap and old hat. You can't expect to write with the same o same o that has been done a hundred times before and expect to grab the audiance.
Now, you have a great title but you missed the answers to the age old questions here. Why did your god die so you can live? Can you explain that in a short story? If so you'll have something. This is just the same old reworn story we have all already heard.
God loved me so much he gave his son... Ya, ya, ya. If you belive in that then fine, but your preaching to the quire. The rest of the world will shrug off the story and leave it sitting on the counter.
Now, you come up with a plausable reason for the statement and you'll have a following. That is what Matrix did and it went global. Not just for the battery human thing, but why giving your body saved the world.
By the way do you see that part of the plot in the Matrix? It was there for sure.
So that is my review. Hope it helps.
Yep, good writing style if I missed saying that.
Cheers
Scott
Comment Written 12-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
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I appreciate your kind review. Thank you for thinking my writing style is good. To answer your queries;yes, some would say it's cliche, but the Truth of what I believe will never speak to all people. That was not my intention. It will speak to whomever will receive it. Again, thank you for your comments.
Comment from MercyWrites
I like the story very much. I thought it was sweet. My only nitpick I think you could have expanded it a little
further. Maybe tell the the reader more about the person
standing in the middle of the portal, watching Jesus.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
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I like the story very much. I thought it was sweet. My only nitpick I think you could have expanded it a little
further. Maybe tell the the reader more about the person
standing in the middle of the portal, watching Jesus.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
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Thank you for the kind review. The reason I did not expand it was because that person standing in the portal watching Jesus is any one of us at any given day. He's just waiting for us to respond. God Bless
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I like your answer.
Comment from *!*dreamer*!*
That was a very nice story. I didn't see any SPAG errors. I liked the way you incorporated your experience into a 'time warp' sort of thing. It was an interesting twist.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
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That was a very nice story. I didn't see any SPAG errors. I liked the way you incorporated your experience into a 'time warp' sort of thing. It was an interesting twist.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
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Thanks for the kind review. I'm glad you enjoyed the 'time warp' thing!
Comment from chipoltecowboy
Excellent work! Well written, perfectly punctuated, and really entertaining. Your work has excellent flow to it, and you use a good, descriptive style of writing that allows your readers to feel like they are standing there next to you! I really enjoyed this one, and if I were you, I'd consider this a polished gem!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
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Excellent work! Well written, perfectly punctuated, and really entertaining. Your work has excellent flow to it, and you use a good, descriptive style of writing that allows your readers to feel like they are standing there next to you! I really enjoyed this one, and if I were you, I'd consider this a polished gem!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
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I am honored by your kind review. Thank you.
Comment from Firefly54
Powerful piece of writing and very clearly written. A fantastic way at looking at this important event, the whole piece flows well
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
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Powerful piece of writing and very clearly written. A fantastic way at looking at this important event, the whole piece flows well
Comment Written 12-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2009
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Thank you for your kind review. I hope you enjoyed it.
