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What We See

Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "What We See - Chapter 20"
A wrongly accused teacher reinvents his life

17 total reviews 
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
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Are we setting up a Karate Kid scene?
Nice error-free writing.
Just happened to have a bag of used baseballs????? They only needed one, the way they were practicing.
Best wishes.


 Comment Written 12-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
    I loved the Karate Kid! Good movie.

    I don't know, I had a bag of baseballs when my kids were young. We would practice hitting with them. We didn't have a catcher, so the missed balls would end up at the backstop, and we didn't want to stop and retrieve each one, so we needed a bunch.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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They are all bringing out the best in each other, and I enjoyed this happy chapter, despite not knowing all the baseball terms. (It's not big in Australia.). Alan and Ginny seem very comfortable with each other now. Well written.
Wendy

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
    Thanks, Wendy. I thought we needed a break from all that heavy stuff. I probably know as much about cricket and rugby as you do about baseball!
Comment from tfawcus
Excellent
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You're describing technicalities of a game I'm not familiar with so I can't really comment. However, you us the game well as a setting for continued character development and interaction.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
    I'm sure that sounds like cricket or rugby does to me. Sorry about that!
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
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A well-crafted chapter, you got to reemphasize that Artie gets bullied too, and show his good side as well. You've laid the seeds for Alan to take over as baseball coach down the line, as the current coach is shown to be a bully too.

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
    Thanks, Lance. Good predicting there about the baseball coaching.
reply by lancellot on 12-Mar-2024
    Are you writing this for FanStory only or do you have plans for this be read outside FS?
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I felt sorry for Artie putting up with abuse from one of the other team then geting trouble from his own coach. But, he had the last laugh, didn't he. A good chapter Jim, about good family fun. Enjoyed it,
cheers,
valda

 Comment Written 11-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
    Thanks so much, Valda, and for the 6 stars too. Very much appreciated. I thought it was time for them to have a little fun after all that heavy stuff.
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Yay!! You show us that even kids that might be bullies have a good side. Artie is rough around the edges but he did stand up for Tommy and that is what "freight griends" do. It sounds like they are not only good neighbors but turning into a family now.

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 Comment Written 11-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
    Inspiration for this chapter came from my own family. I coached my son's baseball team for two years, and the whole family spent many afternoons practicing hitting, just like they did here. I still owe my daughter 8 million dollars because I kept betting her double or nothing she couldn't catch another pop fly, but she kept catching them. She never forgets to remind me I haven't paid up.
reply by lyenochka on 12-Mar-2024
    Lol! Well, you can't be betting like that unless it was pennies but even that would be a lot. I'm so glad it was a family affair and you all have great memories!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Excellent
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I guess there needs to be a change of pace in a story. This was calm save for the hit-pitch episode, and yet it read comfortably. I think you have a way with words.

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 Comment Written 11-Mar-2024


reply by the author on 12-Mar-2024
    Thanks, Tom. Enough heavy stuff for a while. Thought we needed a break from it.