Reviews from

Passion

Ukiah- Potlatch Club post

32 total reviews 
Comment from Mia Twysted
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A short piece to remind people of the faith that some share. It is important to come together reguardle3ss of your faith. Face the world together and not alone.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 28-Feb-2024
    Thanks for the kind review and insightful comments.
    Joan
Comment from karenina
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I get a kick every time I see this, to think ukiah is haiku spelled backward. (I'm silly, I know)--

Your offering is a "passionate" prelude to Lent. The image is overwhelmingly powerful.

Thanks for sharing this unique form!

Karenina

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
    Thanks for the review, Karenina, I think the name is funny too.
    Glad you like it.
    Joan
reply by karenina on 28-Feb-2024
    It's adorable!

    Or "elbaroda"

    (giggle)
Comment from Janet Foor
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

An incredible piece of art you chose for this poem. Sadly, you are right, many people only remember for six weeks the agony, death and rebirth of our Savior.

Well done.
Blessings
Janet


 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
    Thanks for the review and all the stars, Janet.
    Joan
Comment from QC Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great UKIAH that has beautiful artwork and conforming to the intent of its theme though not stated every one should recognize Jesus Christ and his suffering on the cross the only clue I wanted to investigate was the six weeks reference the days of Lent total an equivalent amount of the amount of days referenced if I'm incorrect Please let me know in your review response Blessings on you and yours

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
    Hi QC,
    Thanks for taking the time to read and review my poem.
    Joan
Comment from Gunner Lil
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wonderful picture.
A lot is said with so few words.
Forty days of lent and no meat on Fridays.
The lovely smell of white lilies on the alter Easter Sunday.
Thank you!

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
    Thanks, Lil, for both the review and the nice beautiful image of lilies and their scent.
    Joan
Comment from mermaids
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent use of words that captures the Easter season. I like the line "agony, death, rebirth". It describes fully what Jesus went through and his resurrection. This poetic form fits perfectly for your theme.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
    Hi Elaine.
    I appreciate the nice comments and high rating.
    Joan
Comment from SimianSavant
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The concise text matches well with the detailed texture of the image. "Every" is used here as three syllables in your 7-5-7 although folks often speak it as two.

My only very minor suggestion is to add a comma after "year", since the word "some" really belongs on the next line and is only on the first line by necessarily for the syllable count.

Regards,

Harambe (for President)

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
    Hi Harambe,
    Thanks for the review and the editing. I will look into it.
    Joan
Comment from shelley kaye
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

ooh an easter ukiah...
nicely stated without being pushy
and still deeply meaningful with much emotion

however - there's no rhyme...
should be three lines of 757 with a monorhyme
otherwise it's not a true 'reverse haiku-ukiah'

that said, still a nice one!!
thank you for sharing
shelley :)



This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
    Hi Shelley,
    Thanks for the positive comments. Sorry I missed the rhyme rule.
    Joan
Comment from Barry Penfold
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, the image is totally awesome. The words are totally appropriate. Hope this goes well in your club competition. Take care and have a wonderful day.
Regards
Barry Penfold.

 Comment Written 27-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
    Thanks a lot for the kind comments, Barry.
    Joan
Comment from Raul1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I have enjoyed reading your interesting and impressive poem. It is clear and concise. The sentences flow with clarity. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Thank you for sharing!

 Comment Written 26-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 27-Feb-2024
    Thanks for the thorough review, Raul.
    Joan