Reviews from

Love and Loss

Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Sunflower"
NaPoWriMo April Poetry Contest

38 total reviews 
Comment from Terry Broxson
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, truly a very beautifully written poem, and yet so sad with its message of truth. Jessica, this is an exceptional piece of writing.

I would also like to offer that your note fills in a little more of the story that the poem does not. That is not a criticism of the poem. But shows me you also have the makings of a good prose story if you wish to write it. I do like to challenge you good poets to try a little prose, LOL, Well done. Terry.

 Comment Written 03-May-2023


reply by the author on 04-May-2023
    Terry, thank you so much. I'm honored by your six stars- and intrigued by your challenge! Haha hmmm
    Xoxo
    Jessica
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This a beautiful tribute to your cousin, Megan. How tragic her life was cut short by her drunken husband.
A poignant and sad tale. It sounds like your cousin was as bright and as beautiful as the sunflower.
Best regards,
Mary

 Comment Written 03-May-2023


reply by the author on 04-May-2023
    Thank you, Mary. I appreciate that so much.
Comment from Paul McFarland
Excellent
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That is a beautiful story about a tragic event, Jessica. You have used the dactylic form to good effect here. I had to give it a second read in order to smooth it out, but this a good job.

 Comment Written 03-May-2023


reply by the author on 03-May-2023
    Thanks so much, Paul! That means a lot!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Lovely descriptions - Daughter of Sun and a beautiful and poignant poem, Jessica. An emotional poem and also the notes. I'm not sure how one could get past that last tragic drive. A beautiful presentation, thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-May-2023


reply by the author on 04-May-2023
    Pearl, thank you SO much for your kind worded review and for the stars. I appreciate it so much.
    Xo
    Jessica
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Excellent
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I love how you compare the sunflower to Megan, by telling us of its birth and growth on Earth before introducing Megan.

"an influenced crash" tells us everything we need to know about the circumstances of the crash.

I'm so sorry you had to lose your cousin in such a senseless, avoidable car crash. People who drink do not know what they're doing in the moment. Her husband must have been devastated at what he caused.

Beautiful poem, Jess.

xx
Pam

 Comment Written 02-May-2023


reply by the author on 04-May-2023
    Thank you for your kind words, Pam. They truly mean so much to me.
    Xo
    Jess
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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A close friend of mine took his life when he was nineteen and I was only eighteen, a talented sportsman, a handsome, tall blonde, blue eyed boy, my first love had dumped me about the same time, I went into a downward spiral for a long time, I still think of him to this day, such a waste, so I relate to this fabulous poem, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 02-May-2023


reply by the author on 04-May-2023
    Thank you so much, Roy.
    Xo
reply by royowen on 04-May-2023
    Welcome
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

In middle school at twelve years old, I lost young classmate to a drunk driver. He was in the backseat and older drunk boys were driving. My friend was decapitated a word I had to learn at twelve and everyone in his car died. They also ran head on into an aunt bringing to children back from their mother's wedding as their mother flew off on her honeymoon. As a child thar information blazed into me. It was 1982. I joined SADD and I even won $50 by using my art talents to create a sign I drew a bottle with cut images glued as collage inside. I drew two hands holding the bottle "Don't Out Your Life in the Hands of A Bottle it read. I still have it.

At my young naive age I thought my efforts were ensuring that no one else would die or suffer from losing an innocent loved one to drink driving. There seems to be much less now and fun violence has taken first place

I was so sad to read your words and I only wish I had a fund machine to keep your beat and loved daughter from ever stepping into a that car. God be with gee and may she be wrapped in His Great Love Eternally! May you and yours be considered by the precious menories ds

 Comment Written 02-May-2023


reply by the author on 02-May-2023
    Alex, that's terrible. I'm sure it has stayed with you. Thank you for your review and for sharing that.
    Xo
    Jessica
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Your story made me cry. What a beautiful tribute to your cousi Megan.

Good rhyme and meter that doesn't sound forced. Nice presentation and imagery.

Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus

 Comment Written 02-May-2023


reply by the author on 02-May-2023
    Thank you so much.
    Xo
Comment from Raul1
Excellent
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I have enjoyed reading your piece of poetry. It's beautifully written. The sentences flow with clarity. Excellent work! No mistakes found. I like it. Thank you for sharing!

 Comment Written 02-May-2023


reply by the author on 02-May-2023
    Thank you so much!
Comment from Julie Lau
Excellent
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Your tribute to your lovely cousin and friend makes for a heart-rending poem, which I hope can find its way to her. The sunflower analogy is very well done. The only thing I would suggest changing is to delete the full stop after 'fast' in the fifth verse - just let the sentence flow. All the best,
Julie L

 Comment Written 02-May-2023


reply by the author on 02-May-2023
    Thanks, Julie!