Love and Loss
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Fear"NaPoWriMo April Poetry Contest
19 total reviews
Comment from Mary Shifman
I really like this poem. Fear, like occasional depression, is a common thread runs through us all. For me, it's the unexpected, inexplicable bouts of depression that paralyses me, sometimes for days. On reflection, I guess depression could also be triggered by fear of the unknown. Great poem. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
  |
I really like this poem. Fear, like occasional depression, is a common thread runs through us all. For me, it's the unexpected, inexplicable bouts of depression that paralyses me, sometimes for days. On reflection, I guess depression could also be triggered by fear of the unknown. Great poem. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
-
Thank you so much for your insight and awesome review. Your words and perception are so appreciated.
Comment from karenina
So many things to fear in our day-to-day lives! (One needs only glance at any cable news channel to suffer a panic attack.)
I like your larger theme here, written in abab rhyme... We often find a way to deal with what we anticipate is coming our way. It's difficult to brace ourselves for the "unknown."
A great choice for "emotion" for this contest... Good luck!
Karenina
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
 |
So many things to fear in our day-to-day lives! (One needs only glance at any cable news channel to suffer a panic attack.)
I like your larger theme here, written in abab rhyme... We often find a way to deal with what we anticipate is coming our way. It's difficult to brace ourselves for the "unknown."
A great choice for "emotion" for this contest... Good luck!
Karenina
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
-
Thank you so much!! I'm truly grateful.
-
You are very welcome anonymous person!
:)
Comment from ~Dovey
Hello Poet,
Choosing fear as your feeling worked for you. In quotes, you establish some of the coping mechanisms when dealing with our fears. Good rhymes.
Best of luck in the contest.
Kim
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
|
Hello Poet,
Choosing fear as your feeling worked for you. In quotes, you establish some of the coping mechanisms when dealing with our fears. Good rhymes.
Best of luck in the contest.
Kim
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
-
Thanks so much, Kim!
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Any of us who have known anxiety, especially when the cause is unknown in origin, can relate to your poem. Its simple language draws us in, and the rhyme and flow carries us along. Well done!
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
|
Any of us who have known anxiety, especially when the cause is unknown in origin, can relate to your poem. Its simple language draws us in, and the rhyme and flow carries us along. Well done!
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
-
I appreciate your perceptive review very much!! Thank you!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This verse resonates so strongly with me and the image is so perfect in reflecting that sense of being lost and alone. Somehow, the brain wants to keep reminding you that you're unsafe, some primeval force to help you survive the predators outside? Well expressed in unforced rhyming verse, this ticks all the boxes of this emotion. Well done and good luck, Debbie
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
|
This verse resonates so strongly with me and the image is so perfect in reflecting that sense of being lost and alone. Somehow, the brain wants to keep reminding you that you're unsafe, some primeval force to help you survive the predators outside? Well expressed in unforced rhyming verse, this ticks all the boxes of this emotion. Well done and good luck, Debbie
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
-
Thank you so much, Debbie!! I truly appreciate your perceptive words.
Comment from Mario PIERRE
Very compelling and interesting poem. There is that sense of latent fear scattered through the verses, which make this poem powerful.
Good luck for the contest!!
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
|
Very compelling and interesting poem. There is that sense of latent fear scattered through the verses, which make this poem powerful.
Good luck for the contest!!
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
-
Thank you so much, Mario!!
Comment from LisaMay
You've caught the terrible emotional impact of being held back by fear in a very effective manner in your poetic words in this well constructed poem. Each stanza builds up the feelings until it is revealed in the final line what it is that you fear.
Stuck in it's suspension Held back by "I don't know" is such a waste of living. Most of life is unknown, a risky adventure, but to be so fearful that opportunities are missed and life is not experienced fully is a real tragedy.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
|
You've caught the terrible emotional impact of being held back by fear in a very effective manner in your poetic words in this well constructed poem. Each stanza builds up the feelings until it is revealed in the final line what it is that you fear.
Stuck in it's suspension Held back by "I don't know" is such a waste of living. Most of life is unknown, a risky adventure, but to be so fearful that opportunities are missed and life is not experienced fully is a real tragedy.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
-
Thank you so much for this insightful review. I couldn't agree more with your words. Although I've personally experienced what this poem is meant to express, I've overcome much of it. It makes watching loved ones experience it that much harder, though.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent poem, written with skill, and making your point clearly, about the fear of the unknown and the anxiety that produces. Good rhyme and metre, and an excellent presentation.
Wendy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
|
Excellent poem, written with skill, and making your point clearly, about the fear of the unknown and the anxiety that produces. Good rhyme and metre, and an excellent presentation.
Wendy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
-
Wendy, thank you so much!
Comment from kiwisteveh
I hope this is not your actual reality.
Your poem expresses quite well the feeling of anxiety which is a burden for many in society. My wife suffers from it and it can be crippling in its effects and certainly is a major influence in both our lives.
Your abab rhyming quatrains are well constructed although I would suggest that such regularity is possibly at odds with the subject of the poem and you may well have had more freedom to describe and explain the fear if you had chosen free verse.
A couple of tiny spags:
it's suspension --> its suspension
'of' at the start of line 18 is grammatically not necessary. you could simply remove it and if the line now feels too short, change can't to cannot.
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
|
I hope this is not your actual reality.
Your poem expresses quite well the feeling of anxiety which is a burden for many in society. My wife suffers from it and it can be crippling in its effects and certainly is a major influence in both our lives.
Your abab rhyming quatrains are well constructed although I would suggest that such regularity is possibly at odds with the subject of the poem and you may well have had more freedom to describe and explain the fear if you had chosen free verse.
A couple of tiny spags:
it's suspension --> its suspension
'of' at the start of line 18 is grammatically not necessary. you could simply remove it and if the line now feels too short, change can't to cannot.
Good luck in the contest.
Steve
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2023
-
Thank you, Steve. I appreciate the excellent suggestions and have revised accordingly.
Although the poem touches on themes that resonate with my personal experiences, I have been able to move beyond much of the anxiety it speaks to. My own struggles came after a traumatic event, which, although difficult, feels more manageable than the unexplained and crippling anxiety that some people face.
I'm deeply sorry your wife must endure this burden. My heart goes out to you both.
