Harmony
the way things should be21 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
ROFL! Yep, he didn't forget the most important part of the plan, thank goodness. You painted such a peaceful setting, that I kept expecting an anaconda or piranha biting his toes. LOL Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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ROFL! Yep, he didn't forget the most important part of the plan, thank goodness. You painted such a peaceful setting, that I kept expecting an anaconda or piranha biting his toes. LOL Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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I had toyed with that idea - but I've done that before. lol
Comment from robyn corum
Gareth,
I like it. But I'm still gonna be a little worried if you'll permit me. The minds of man haven't changed. It may take another 6,000 years, but I'm afraid we might still be hoping for NOTHER do-over. --sigh--
Can't we just trim back the bad folks? And no - I don't want to decide who they are. Thanks!
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Gareth,
I like it. But I'm still gonna be a little worried if you'll permit me. The minds of man haven't changed. It may take another 6,000 years, but I'm afraid we might still be hoping for NOTHER do-over. --sigh--
Can't we just trim back the bad folks? And no - I don't want to decide who they are. Thanks!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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I don't know, I know some pretty serene folk who might do ok if the world just buggered off for a while. lol
Comment from aryr
Wow, this was phenomenal, it was fantastic, it was great, G. It was a delightful picture and a total surprise. It was Christ who was able to walk on water. Aaron was able to listen to Christ and be quiet when he should be as both reflected on the past. I loved the ending with the beautiful women, Aaron became Adam in essence.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Wow, this was phenomenal, it was fantastic, it was great, G. It was a delightful picture and a total surprise. It was Christ who was able to walk on water. Aaron was able to listen to Christ and be quiet when he should be as both reflected on the past. I loved the ending with the beautiful women, Aaron became Adam in essence.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Many thanks. G
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Most welcome, G.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I'm sorry I don't have a six for you. I love your story of a new beginning. It flowed so smoothly, as if on silky water (HeHe), I didn't see any errors. You did a great job. Shirley
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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I'm sorry I don't have a six for you. I love your story of a new beginning. It flowed so smoothly, as if on silky water (HeHe), I didn't see any errors. You did a great job. Shirley
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Many thanks once again, Shirley. G
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well written. Interesting concept.
(But why dd she have to be beautiful?) lol
Why not sturdy? Or intelligent looking? Or motherly?
Just curious, why would water-walking get easier?
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Well written. Interesting concept.
(But why dd she have to be beautiful?) lol
Why not sturdy? Or intelligent looking? Or motherly?
Just curious, why would water-walking get easier?
Best wishes.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Everything gets easier with practice! lol Many thanks Wayne.G
Comment from Terry Broxson
LOL, great ending. I don't have a six left, if I had a seven you would get that. I love the last two stories. Your mind might be a little wrapped in a very good creative way. Exceptional work! Terry.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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LOL, great ending. I don't have a six left, if I had a seven you would get that. I love the last two stories. Your mind might be a little wrapped in a very good creative way. Exceptional work! Terry.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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My mind is definitely different. Much appreciated, Terry. G
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Very well done and not surprisingly either. You have a gifted way of saying things unfamiliar from others inklings. ....................................................................
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Very well done and not surprisingly either. You have a gifted way of saying things unfamiliar from others inklings. ....................................................................
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Many thaks, tom. I think I'm wired differently... G
Comment from Rachelle Allen
This was an intriguing read--lots of imagery, lots of questions-then-well-paced answers, and a mystery at the end that made me sit there and ponder what I'd just read. In short, it's everything a short story should be.
I especially loved "he closed his eyes and let his ears do the heavy lifting." Clever, and a phrase that I just know is going to come into my mind now again and again. Thanks for that; it's a good "reference tool" for writing technique.
Finally, in paragraph #11, I think you juxtaposed your R and O. I bet you meant that word to be "from" and not "form."
Thanks for this enjoyable story
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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This was an intriguing read--lots of imagery, lots of questions-then-well-paced answers, and a mystery at the end that made me sit there and ponder what I'd just read. In short, it's everything a short story should be.
I especially loved "he closed his eyes and let his ears do the heavy lifting." Clever, and a phrase that I just know is going to come into my mind now again and again. Thanks for that; it's a good "reference tool" for writing technique.
Finally, in paragraph #11, I think you juxtaposed your R and O. I bet you meant that word to be "from" and not "form."
Thanks for this enjoyable story
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Many thanks, especially for the catch. G
Comment from dmt1967
This is another great story about the second coming. It also backs up my idea that the maker of the earth should blow the world up and start again lol. Thank you for sharing and have a great week.
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reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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This is another great story about the second coming. It also backs up my idea that the maker of the earth should blow the world up and start again lol. Thank you for sharing and have a great week.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Much appreciated, my friend. G
Comment from Debbie Pope
Well done! I was so engrossed with your mysterious story. I was afraid at first that your robed man was Death. Instead he brings life to Aaron and the world. I see extended metaphors throughout. I see praise for the simple life. I see so much in your words.
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Well done! I was so engrossed with your mysterious story. I was afraid at first that your robed man was Death. Instead he brings life to Aaron and the world. I see extended metaphors throughout. I see praise for the simple life. I see so much in your words.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2022
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Many thanks for the great response to this piece. G
