Follow-up to First Date, Scene 3
The beginning of a romance20 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Well done. I enjoyed this script, especially as I wrote a story recently about our family going to the drive-in when we were children. Let's just say it didn't turn out as well as this date did! Very well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Well done. I enjoyed this script, especially as I wrote a story recently about our family going to the drive-in when we were children. Let's just say it didn't turn out as well as this date did! Very well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Thank you Wendy. I so glad you enjoyed this. I'll have to look in portfolio and check your story out.
Beth
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Thanks Beth. It was. A family story called Never Again. Don?t review as it?s expired now but it should give you a laugh.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Another good scene to this script, Beth. I thought Matt was younger, like twenty-one. Twenty-six gives me some concern since she's so naive. I'm interested to see where it goes. Well done.
One little spag:
"who was that man (was) I was with."
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Another good scene to this script, Beth. I thought Matt was younger, like twenty-one. Twenty-six gives me some concern since she's so naive. I'm interested to see where it goes. Well done.
One little spag:
"who was that man (was) I was with."
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much for another great review. I glad you saw the extra "was." This is loosely based on my own first date. Luckily, Matt is a good guy and won't take advantage of a naïve girl.
Beth
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You?re most welcome, Beth. :)
Comment from royowen
This reminds of the days when I stepped out, and those early days when we had lots of drive in theatres, but I think there's only one left now. You obviously attended them too, great growing up with drive ins, beautifully written Beth, skilfully scripted, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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This reminds of the days when I stepped out, and those early days when we had lots of drive in theatres, but I think there's only one left now. You obviously attended them too, great growing up with drive ins, beautifully written Beth, skilfully scripted, blessings Roy
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Thank you. I really appreciate the review and comments. Beth They should have brought the drive-ins back for the virus pandemic. The theaters were closed, but people could have seen movies in the car. I guess they watched at home on TV or computer.
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I agree
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! I wonder if the love birds will remember what move it was as I'm sure they enjoyed getting to be with each other more than the movie. Great ending to this part.
Question:
I see you say "in service" and somehow I have only heard "in the service." Maybe it's a dialect difference?
Comments:
Betsy: He's Late. (late)
I'm reasonly sure (reasonably)
It very good to meet you. (It's)
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Lol! I wonder if the love birds will remember what move it was as I'm sure they enjoyed getting to be with each other more than the movie. Great ending to this part.
Question:
I see you say "in service" and somehow I have only heard "in the service." Maybe it's a dialect difference?
Comments:
Betsy: He's Late. (late)
I'm reasonly sure (reasonably)
It very good to meet you. (It's)
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Thanks Helen, I guess it is a dialogue difference. I never heard the service. I checked my sentence out and the grammar said there was no errors. Both is probably Okay. I changed it to "the army." I appreciate you seeing the other spags. No, I doubt if the movie interested me. It was likely a Western. I don't imagine we much paid much attention to it. LOL
Comment from damommy
Well, they got past the mother. Now, to see what happens with the father. Matt seems the perfect gentleman. I was surprised that Betsy had never been to a drive-in movie before. We used to go all the time when I was a child.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Well, they got past the mother. Now, to see what happens with the father. Matt seems the perfect gentleman. I was surprised that Betsy had never been to a drive-in movie before. We used to go all the time when I was a child.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much for the review. I must confess this is about me, because apparently, I don't know how to write fiction. My family didn't ever go to movies and my first trip to the drive-in was with that man I married who was nine years older than me. We had 61 wonderful years together and Daddy never shot at him. LOl.
Beth
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You write beautifully whatever you choose. You keep your reader hooked all the way through.
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That is so sweet of you to say. :>)
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It's true!
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Thinking back I can't remember ever going to a Drive-in-movie without at least one other couple being with us, but then again I don't remember. LOL What a shame they are all gone. I remember as a young married couple with little ones we would put a twin mattress in the back seat and take the kids and go to the movies. We would have had to pay a sitter otherwise. Convenient. This sounded familiar. Well done, Beth. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Thinking back I can't remember ever going to a Drive-in-movie without at least one other couple being with us, but then again I don't remember. LOL What a shame they are all gone. I remember as a young married couple with little ones we would put a twin mattress in the back seat and take the kids and go to the movies. We would have had to pay a sitter otherwise. Convenient. This sounded familiar. Well done, Beth. Nancy:)
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Thank you Nancy. I never liked drive-ins that much because the sound was always muffled and in the winter It was too cold to have the window rolled down and windshield would fog up. I thrilled with those six stars. I hear you are having a Birthday today. I hope it a good one.
Beth
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Thank you, Beth. The:)y always closed the drive-In during the winter when I was young.
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Ours may of been closes three months, but I remember being cold.
Comment from Gert sherwood
The beginning of a romance
Follow-up to First Date, Scene 3
Beth I see that you are drawing us readers to keep on reading your excellent script, about a 26 young man
and I believe a 17 young girl.
Smiles you keep on writing about the romance
Beth I will be wanting to see how the romance starts
Gert
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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The beginning of a romance
Follow-up to First Date, Scene 3
Beth I see that you are drawing us readers to keep on reading your excellent script, about a 26 young man
and I believe a 17 young girl.
Smiles you keep on writing about the romance
Beth I will be wanting to see how the romance starts
Gert
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Thank you Gert, I really appreciate the review and excellent comments.
Beth
Beth,
You are most welcome
Gert
Comment from Fleedleflump
I enjoyed this continuation of the budding romance. Your dialogue flows nicely and feel natural. We 're slowly getting to know more about Matt. I very much enjoyed :-)
Mike
Spag notes:
'Give him break.' - needs an 'a' before 'break.
'He has to drive nearly twenty miles to get her.' - missing 'e' on 'here'
'It very good to meet you.' - missing an 'is' or 'was' before 'very' (unless it's intentional for dialect/mode of speech)
'Betsy, your daddy will have fit if you're not hope by eleven.' - missing an 'a' before 'fit' - again, might be a dialect, but it makes her sound eastern European (thanks to my stereotype narrator) - again, might be intentional :-)
'Betsy, your daddy will have fit if you're not hope by eleven.' - also, 'hope' should be 'home'
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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I enjoyed this continuation of the budding romance. Your dialogue flows nicely and feel natural. We 're slowly getting to know more about Matt. I very much enjoyed :-)
Mike
Spag notes:
'Give him break.' - needs an 'a' before 'break.
'He has to drive nearly twenty miles to get her.' - missing 'e' on 'here'
'It very good to meet you.' - missing an 'is' or 'was' before 'very' (unless it's intentional for dialect/mode of speech)
'Betsy, your daddy will have fit if you're not hope by eleven.' - missing an 'a' before 'fit' - again, might be a dialect, but it makes her sound eastern European (thanks to my stereotype narrator) - again, might be intentional :-)
'Betsy, your daddy will have fit if you're not hope by eleven.' - also, 'hope' should be 'home'
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Thank you Mike. I truly appreciated your review. I always humiliated when I miss so many spags. I truly appreciate you helping me clean them up.
Beth
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Bethshelby a Fantabulous Friday to you. I hope this finds you well. I enjoyed your script about a new budding romance. Nice Job! Have a great day!
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reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Hello Bethshelby a Fantabulous Friday to you. I hope this finds you well. I enjoyed your script about a new budding romance. Nice Job! Have a great day!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much for the review and comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
Beth
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I'm a little worried about what's going to happen next. Should I be??? I do like the story line. You're doing a good job.
Betsy, you'll daddy will have fit if you're not hope by eleven. (your daddy????)
Matt: He still in service. (He's???)
The guys in service called me 'Dad'. (in THE service)
I'd sure like it you'd slide over closer. (like it IF you'd)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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I'm a little worried about what's going to happen next. Should I be??? I do like the story line. You're doing a good job.
Betsy, you'll daddy will have fit if you're not hope by eleven. (your daddy????)
Matt: He still in service. (He's???)
The guys in service called me 'Dad'. (in THE service)
I'd sure like it you'd slide over closer. (like it IF you'd)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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Well, this is pretty much my own story so you shouldn't worry. I know with him being older and dating young girls, it looks bad. We had a great marriage that lasted 61 years.
Beth
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So true!!!!
