The Little Big Dollar Store
A very special place...14 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
Oh, this is such a delight. You had one wonderful, loving father, and from the way you write about it, one who was so loved by you! Reciprocation's beautiful, isn't it?
Please do yourself a favor while the contest is still on, and you have time:
Go back and add a space between each paragraph. On a piece that is so short and impactful already, why not redouble the value by making it more of a physical pleasure to read. White space between paragraphs does that. Also, while you are in the edit mode, consider increasing the font size. I always do whatever I can to get an edge by making the reading experience as pleasuable as possible. Consider it, my friend!
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Oh, this is such a delight. You had one wonderful, loving father, and from the way you write about it, one who was so loved by you! Reciprocation's beautiful, isn't it?
Please do yourself a favor while the contest is still on, and you have time:
Go back and add a space between each paragraph. On a piece that is so short and impactful already, why not redouble the value by making it more of a physical pleasure to read. White space between paragraphs does that. Also, while you are in the edit mode, consider increasing the font size. I always do whatever I can to get an edge by making the reading experience as pleasuable as possible. Consider it, my friend!
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Thank you for this terrific review and for your excellent suggestions. I've already made the changes. Thanks again. :)
Comment from WriterHeather
Love it! What a cool and heartwarming story about your father. In bet he would be overjoyed to know how much these trips meant to you. How awesome that you still have one of the dolls!
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Love it! What a cool and heartwarming story about your father. In bet he would be overjoyed to know how much these trips meant to you. How awesome that you still have one of the dolls!
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much for this excellent review, it means the world to me. :)
Comment from Fleedleflump
What a lovely recollection, written beautifully and with plenty of pathos. You made me think of my paternal grandparents - one day each week when I was little, they'd come round to give my mum a break. We'd walk the half hour into town and they'd buy me a Mr Men book, then we'd walk back home. My grandad would read the book to me, then I'd read it back to him. These are some of my earliest memories :-)
Thank you for the trip.
Mike
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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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What a lovely recollection, written beautifully and with plenty of pathos. You made me think of my paternal grandparents - one day each week when I was little, they'd come round to give my mum a break. We'd walk the half hour into town and they'd buy me a Mr Men book, then we'd walk back home. My grandad would read the book to me, then I'd read it back to him. These are some of my earliest memories :-)
Thank you for the trip.
Mike
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Those are wonderful memories to have and the fact that you still recall it, shows how much it meant to you. Thanks so much for this nice review. :)
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
What a sweet story about your father and the wonderful time you shared together. That was really quite an adventure if you had to take two busses. Your story would be improved if you used paragraphs and divided them with a blank line as this site requests. A paragraph is composed of what you say about one thing and the next paragraph explains something else. So, the first 3 sentences are a paragraph. Sentences 4, 5, and 6 are the next paragraph as they talk about the store and the dolls there that you loved. Best of luck with this in the I remember . . . contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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What a sweet story about your father and the wonderful time you shared together. That was really quite an adventure if you had to take two busses. Your story would be improved if you used paragraphs and divided them with a blank line as this site requests. A paragraph is composed of what you say about one thing and the next paragraph explains something else. So, the first 3 sentences are a paragraph. Sentences 4, 5, and 6 are the next paragraph as they talk about the store and the dolls there that you loved. Best of luck with this in the I remember . . . contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and for your great suggestion. I've already changed it for the better thanks to you. :)